creyente7 Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 I want to get my ex back. But the pain is unbearable, meanwhile my ex's bestfriend has been showing signs she might like me. Flirting and stuff. I just don't want to feel this pain anymore, is it a bad idea to date my ex's bestfriend? I still want my ex back but I know she doesn't want a relationship with me anymore because of incompatability issues. My girlfriend is very independent, doesn't need me to make her happy all the time, her bestfriend is the opposite, she likes to have a guy all over her. So me and her bestfriend would be more compatible but for some reason I want my ex more. Opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 (edited) You need to begin to accept that it's over between you and your ex, stop obsessing, and move on (easier said than done, I know). At the same time, that doesn't mean you should jump into a new relationship right away, either. I really think you need some time by yourself for a while. Give yourself time to heal, figure out who you are as an individual again. Only then will you be ready for new relationship opportunities. Edited October 30, 2014 by oberkeat 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 I just don't want to feel this pain anymore, is it a bad idea to date my ex's bestfriend?? It is a bad idea to date anyone when you are trying to heal a broken heart. Accept that your relationship with the ex as over and stay away from her best friend. You are in no position to be dating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author creyente7 Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 Accept that its over? Yes I somewhat accept that its over, I know she doesn't want me, at least right now. She made this clear to me, more than once, and told me just to accept its over. However, the reason we ended it is just bad timing. We're both busy with school and barely have time for each other, plus she lives 2 hours away from me. I will not wait for her to have another chance and not doing anything, but I want to move on and date someone else, will dating her bestfriend kill my chances of ever getting back with my ex even if say she graduates from school and have less on her plate. Distance and Time is what killed our relationship, we drifted apart due to this, but we get along when we together. So I guess I wont just be sitting around not doing anything while waiting for her. Its just something to keep my mind off my ex while she finishes school. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 (edited) She made this clear to me, more than once, and told me just to accept its over. However, the reason we ended it is just bad timing. We're both busy with school and barely have time for each other, plus she lives 2 hours away from me. It doesn't matter the reasons, it's over. but I want to move on and date someone else, You want to date someone because you are trying to escape your pain. Is that fair to her friend that you're using her to avoid facing your issues? will dating her bestfriend kill my chances of ever getting back with my ex even if say she graduates from school and have less on her plate. It may possibly kill your chances. Who wants to deal with all that mess. And who's to say by the time your ex graduates school, she'd be so emotionally detached from you that she'd be moving on? Distance and Time is what killed our relationship, we drifted apart due to this, but we get along when we together. So I guess I wont just be sitting around not doing anything while waiting for her. Its just something to keep my mind off my ex while she finishes school. Keep your mind off your ex by doing something else. Don't use someone to get over that hurdle. Edited October 30, 2014 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author creyente7 Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 Well that answers the question, it will kill my chances. All I needed to know, and yes she might possibly have moved on by the time she finishes school but theres no harm in trying to reconcile if we're both still available by the time her and I graduate from school. I really do like my ex, I know I might just be saying this because Im stoll attached to her but I feel like even when I have moved on, I would still like her as a person, she is ambitious, independent, smart, hard working, very open and quirky, I can list a million things I like about her. But it doesn't do me any good right now. I'm just saying that this is the one I've been searching for. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 It is a bad idea to date anyone when you are trying to heal a broken heart. This is true on so many levels. However, people do it because they are afraid of being alone, to spite the other person or just because. In an ideal world, a typical person will take time to ponder what happened, have lessons learned and use that to aid them moving forward. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I got news for you. That girl isn't your ex's best friend if she's hitting on you. She's her worst enemy and a sneaky little jerk you'd do best to totally avoid. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I always find it crass when people start dating someone that was in their circle of friends / acquaintances after a breakup, or to even cheat with. Are people that lazy that they can't cast their net afar? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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