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It Has Finally Happened.


Leigh 87

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in July 2013, I met a guy in Berlin. Just for one night, we didn't sleep together but kissed.

 

I have thought about him ever since.

 

I have always wished that things could have worked out.

 

Next week he said he would meet with me once more. After over a year of not seeing each other.........

 

I have always wanted this to happen.

 

I dated others in the meanwhile to distract myself from this one Berlin guy - but so far, while I have gotten over all the other men (which I dated for longer than this one day Berlin dude), I have NOT been able to get past he Berlin guy who I met for just one day. I felt a more compelling connection with him.

 

I screwed it up big time with him. Told him I was going to see other men (even though he was all I thought about, the distance was just getting to me and the fact I had only met him for once night). We had a big fight; prior to the fight, he told me that he was so excited about seeing me after his travels, that he was very interested in me and that he thought things were heading in a great direction with us.... All his words. I just didn't know if he was truly into me due to not knowing him well enough at that stage.

 

- and recently single, I reached out to him; I asked him if he would be interested in meeting again and he said yes, that we could hang out and see what happens..... I even had a dream about meeting him again, and him saying that he always did love me lol ( a dream guys, lol, and only once to be exact). But yeah - I have never wanted to see a man more than I have this one - I have never been this excited or anxious about a man before.

 

How should I keep it together while I anxiously await his invitation to "hang out", IF he even remembers :(?

If he DOES go ahead and arrange a time to meet me next week, should I just aim to be friends and spend time together? I really want to kiss him though, I know I will definitely aim for that, I cannot help it:(

 

I am a bundle of nerves even wondering about whether or not he WILL remember to arrange a time to meet after my suggestion...... And his answer.

 

He said:

 

" we can hang out and see what happens, I have just been keeping to myself, haven't been with anyone in soooo long"

 

I said:

 

" Well I had a lot of fun with you in Berlin and I felt we enjoyed each others company a lot... all that aside, it will be nice to just see you again :)"

 

He said:

 

" cool so what days are you free and do you have a car"

 

" I can do next week as I just checked the schedule with my work"

 

Any advice as to how I can forget about it until he does or doesn't arrange to meet me? He did ask for my availability and stuff so is that a good sign that this meeting will even go ahead? Ugh what if he gets flashbacks as to how mental I was at him when we last spoke - I was in a bad place....

 

 

 

 

 

 

IF anything, I would be totally happy with being able to kiss him lol and have fun with him without commitment, as he turns me on like no other man ever has. Ever.

 

I doubt what I am feeling is real and it is likely more of an infatuation anyway, especially given that I met him just ONCE, hah. Although he... was different and I felt a connection but that is what many people purport to feel, about someone else who DOES NOT reciprocate anyway:(

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in July 2013, I met a guy in Berlin. Just for one night, we didn't sleep together but kissed.

 

I have thought about him ever since.

 

I have always wished that things could have worked out.

 

Next week he said he would meet with me once more. After over a year of not seeing each other.........

 

I have always wanted this to happen.

 

I dated others in the meanwhile to distract myself from this one Berlin guy - but so far, while I have gotten over all the other men (which I dated for longer than this one day Berlin dude), I have NOT been able to get past he Berlin guy who I met for just one day. I felt a more compelling connection with him.

 

I screwed it up big time with him. Told him I was going to see other men (even though he was all I thought about, the distance was just getting to me and the fact I had only met him for once night). We had a big fight; prior to the fight, he told me that he was so excited about seeing me after his travels, that he was very interested in me and that he thought things were heading in a great direction with us.... All his words. I just didn't know if he was truly into me due to not knowing him well enough at that stage.

 

- and recently single, I reached out to him; I asked him if he would be interested in meeting again and he said yes, that we could hang out and see what happens..... I even had a dream about meeting him again, and him saying that he always did love me lol ( a dream guys, lol, and only once to be exact). But yeah - I have never wanted to see a man more than I have this one - I have never been this excited or anxious about a man before.

 

How should I keep it together while I anxiously await his invitation to "hang out", IF he even remembers :(?

 

If he DOES go ahead and arrange a time to meet me next week, should I just aim to be friends and spend time together? I really want to kiss him though, I know I will definitely aim for that, I cannot help it:(

 

I am a bundle of nerves even wondering about whether or not he WILL remember to arrange a time to meet after my suggestion...... And his answer.

 

He said:

 

" we can hang out and see what happens, I have just been keeping to myself, haven't been with anyone in soooo long"

 

I said:

 

" Well I had a lot of fun with you in Berlin and I felt we enjoyed each others company a lot... all that aside, it will be nice to just see you again :)"

 

He said:

 

" cool so what days are you free and do you have a car"

 

" I can do next week as I just checked the schedule with my work"

 

Any advice as to how I can forget about it until he does or doesn't arrange to meet me? He did ask for my availability and stuff so is that a good sign that this meeting will even go ahead? Ugh what if he gets flashbacks as to how mental I was at him when we last spoke - I was in a bad place....

 

 

 

 

 

 

IF anything, I would be totally happy with being able to kiss him lol and have fun with him without commitment, as he turns me on like no other man ever has. Ever.

 

I doubt what I am feeling is real and it is likely more of an infatuation anyway, especially given that I met him just ONCE, hah. Although he... was different and I felt a connection but that is what many people purport to feel, about someone else who DOES NOT reciprocate anyway:(

 

You saw a man for one night in Europe and he's upset because you're seeing other men and he thought things were heading in a great direction with us. Pick one of those other men to spend your time with.

This much attraction already? If he's coming to the US on business and wants to see you, he's just looking to get laid while he's here. If he says he coming to the US to specifically see you because of one night and now he's spending a couple grand to come here for you, he just wants to get laid or looking for a way to get into the US.

 

Don't put yourself in a bad position.

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Viel erfolg. Ich glaube dass, er ist interessiert. Wenn er nicht wären, würde er nicht beantwortet haben.

 

Ich denke, dass du sollen sehen, wie geht es. Wenn es richtig fühlen, dann du ihm ein küsste geben.

 

I guess that he is interested. He would not meet you otherwise, especially while he is keeping to himself. Just meet him, be friendly, and read his body language. If he seems into you, give me a kiss. Or at least give him the signs you want one. Make eye contact while close, maybe while giving a hug. Don't say anything and just smile at him. Keep your hands and arms from blocking the front of your body.. you know, make yourself kissable and if he is into you, most likely he will try to kiss you.

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You saw a man for one night in Europe and he's upset because you're seeing other men and he thought things were heading in a great direction with us. Pick one of those other men to spend your time with.

This much attraction already? If he's coming to the US on business and wants to see you, he's just looking to get laid while he's here. If he says he coming to the US to specifically see you because of one night and now he's spending a couple grand to come here for you, he just wants to get laid or looking for a way to get into the US.

 

Don't put yourself in a bad position.

 

She never said where she lives. Plus, considering the language, I would guess she is not a native speaker. My guess is she is also German, but living in a different city. Trains travel here, but still traveling 3h by train can get expensive if you're doing it frequently...

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A little clarification - does he lives in your hometown? I understand you met in Berlin, but I'm guessing he's from the same place as you originally.

 

If you only met once, put the brakes on the pitter-patters a bit. Actually, a lot. I'm not sure how you two managed to have big fight after meeting only one time, but that's generally not a good sign. Also, the fact that he got so angry at you saying you were going to see other guys is odd. You hardly knew him.

 

Anyway, if you do meet (and it does sound like he wants to), keep it friendly for now. Don't go in with expectations of a great romance; keep reality firmly in your perspective - you don't really know him. Slow it down and see if you even like being around each other first. Also, if you're just coming off the heels of a break-up, it might be good to stay single for a little while. As I recall from your other posts (if I'm not confusing you with someone else) you were in an intense, head-over-heels relationship until quite recently, no?

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She never said where she lives. Plus, considering the language, I would guess she is not a native speaker. My guess is she is also German, but living in a different city. Trains travel here, but still traveling 3h by train can get expensive if you're doing it frequently...

 

Leigh is in Australia, for the record, guys (and gals!).

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It all sounds pretty lukewarm on his end.

 

He said:

 

" we can hang out and see what happens, I have just been keeping to myself, haven't been with anyone in soooo long"

 

I said:

 

" Well I had a lot of fun with you in Berlin and I felt we enjoyed each others company a lot... all that aside, it will be nice to just see you again :)"

 

He said:

 

" cool so what days are you free and do you have a car"

 

" I can do next week as I just checked the schedule with my work"

 

And then what? This seems like it would've been the opportune time to pick a day and time to meet, so why didn't that happen?

 

If you did act really mental with him last time you spoke, your chances of him following up on this could be slim. Him saying "we can hang out and see what happens..." doesn't sound like a guy who is all that thrilled to hear from you. I suggest you keep yourself busy with other things and date others to keep your mind off this guy.

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I'm just glad you broke up with that last guy you were dating. It was obvious you weren't that into him. =/

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Way too much over thinking and over investing in guy you just met once!!!

I would just meet him without any expectations and enjoy your time together.

Maybe you won't feel the same way when you meet him again, maybe he will feel differently about you. Keep it light and casual while feeling out the situation on his end.

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Ruby Slippers

Just calm down and see what happens. You obviously have a massive crush on this guy, and that's always when people do the stupidest things. Keep your wits about you as much as you can. That's the first thing that goes when you have a big-time crush.

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You have built up a fantasy in your head about how perfect this guy is for you. Most people are "perfect" after a great 1st date. Don't hype it up too much or you will be destined for disappointment!

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A little clarification - does he lives in your hometown? I understand you met in Berlin, but I'm guessing he's from the same place as you originally.

 

If you only met once, put the brakes on the pitter-patters a bit. Actually, a lot. I'm not sure how you two managed to have big fight after meeting only one time, but that's generally not a good sign. Also, the fact that he got so angry at you saying you were going to see other guys is odd. You hardly knew him.

 

Anyway, if you do meet (and it does sound like he wants to), keep it friendly for now. Don't go in with expectations of a great romance; keep reality firmly in your perspective - you don't really know him. Slow it down and see if you even like being around each other first. Also, if you're just coming off the heels of a break-up, it might be good to stay single for a little while. As I recall from your other posts (if I'm not confusing you with someone else) you were in an intense, head-over-heels relationship until quite recently, no?

 

 

I wasn't in love with him I just wanted to be to ..... for the sake of being with someone at the time.

 

Yes we had great chemistry but once the initial buzz wore off, it was more of me thinking I should take care of him due to him having a mild disability and also the fact he was wonderful to me and HE was head over heels for ME, which is so flattering and lovely to have a man who adores you so much.

 

I am totally over this my recent ex. I would love nothing more than him to meet a girl tomorrow and have sex with her and for them to live happily ever after.

 

 

And I had a fight with the Berlin guy because ...... We planned to get into a relationship once he came back to AUS after another3 months of travel.

 

We talked on facebook, we were both loving out chats, we were both so excited to meet again (his words not in my head), and then I screwed it up...

 

After I messed it up I dunno I got a bit weird on him and was asking him for another chance - he was annoyed that he finally got feelings for a girl again and then they went and " liked another guy and crap"

 

I deleted him on fb and he was like " deleted me huh., mature"

 

lol. SO yeah, he was starting to get feelings for me and then I told him basically ' sorry, I like another guy" to gauge his reaction (which was bad).

 

He didn't yell or anything - he just said " take care then.. I hope you find what your looking for " he is not a desperate loser lol. But he was pretty upset and angry with me, I could tell he was far from indifferent from it - he told me how excited he had been and that he was confused and upset as to why I just didn't trust him and wait for him to return home.....

 

 

 

 

 

DO you think his casual " we can hang out and see what happens" is him wanting to see me?

 

Baring in mind I did go a bit psycho on him at the time, due to me being in a really bad place in my life?

 

He has " liked" facebook status's since our falling out.........:lmao:

 

 

 

 

 

I Will just expect friendship then and yeah I will scale down my excitement as much as is possible. I can be myself around him though I always have been. We seemed to make each other comfortable like that.

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He is starting to like all my facebook status's again LOL.

 

I have a feeling he will ask to meet with me sometime - he is in the area until X mas.

 

After we met we talked daily basically for a month or so and he made it clear that he was super excited about me since he rarely ever met women that he wanted to bother with.

 

He is honestly 200% happy single and it was a big deal for him to meet someone that he felt would potentially be a good partner.

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Wow!

You were soooo loved up! What happened with your guy?

 

Just see what happens, you only met one time and real life and not being on holiday can make things much different.

Just don't invest too much into it.

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Wow!

You were soooo loved up! What happened with your guy?

 

Just see what happens, you only met one time and real life and not being on holiday can make things much different.

Just don't invest too much into it.

 

 

 

I wasn't loved up beyond the first few months Gemma UK - I wanted to be but yeah. My ex was so decent - he is the most loyal and nicest guy I have ever met.

 

I have had the fun bf - My ex ex - I always did want a guy like him ever since him - he was adventurous, fun and loved travel like me - he made me laugh a lot. He was the ideal partner in theory but he was a jerk.

 

Then I met the decent guy who.... past the initial chemistry, I just didn't get excited about or want a future with.

 

I genuinely do hope this guy I met in Berlin is also nice and decent - in addition to being fun and adventurous.

 

He says he is decent and is not like other guys but you know, I am really going to forget about any sort of relationship with him since I don't truly know him beyond what he described himself to be to me.

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It is nothing major but he has started to like all my facebook status's and he commented on one; ever since we parted ways and had the argument, we haven't talked since; when I tried to he shut me down and didn't want much to do with me the one or two times I did try to talk.

 

Would be great if things were to work out. I always just gotten over men, even the ones I was really into and actually spent time with.

 

Not sure why I cannot get over feelings for a guy I met once. I felt the most potential with him out of all the guys I have been with so perhaps it is simply a fantasy rather than something of actual substance.

 

He didn't seem like a player or ladies man, the opposite. Yet I don't truly know a person until I have spent months with them and even then there are some nasty surprises.

 

My heart flutters every time he likes a post of mine on fb:eek:

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How should I keep it together while I anxiously await his invitation to "hang out", IF he even remembers :(?

I'm concerned you're going to strangle the situation with over-analysis and anxiety. Other than "try not to do that", I don't know what to tell you.

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I'm concerned you're going to strangle the situation with over-analysis and anxiety. Other than "try not to do that", I don't know what to tell you.

 

 

 

Yeah I am throwing myself into work and friends and other things, I know that the best bet is to just be myself at the end of the day and the right thing will happen in the end.

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Holy pedestal, Batman.

 

Beware on setting that bar so high that the second meet becomes nothing like the first.

 

Best of luck.

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yeah am going to distract myself by allowing myself to date others.

 

I shut down a guy, a celebrity body guard, who was really hot but I couldn't stop thinking about Berlin guy.....

 

But hey, maybe we will only ever be friends as we did feel very at ease and enjoy each others company at the time. I was 100% myself.

 

A guy at the bank from a month ago called me up to umm, flirt. I was very attracted to him at the time so will go on a date with him next week sometime.

 

Fun times ahead. I am loving being single I am so excited about what the future may hold. I don't want to shag just any person there has to be some level of connection and respect involved - however, I would very much enjoy going on nice dates, kissing and enjoying another man for a while until I find the right person one day.

 

I still think about Berlin guy but I am going to date other people and not put any sort of priority onto him since well, he may not even be that into me other than thinking I am a nice girl lol.

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I need to really like a guy to have sex with them.... I tried the alternative and learnt that I cannot enjoy sex unless there are feelings involved.

 

I was with my ex and mostly happy with him because he treated me well, we had initial sparks and I WANTED someone to want me. I was jealous of my good friends awesome relationship (she had instant, huge chemistry with her partner AND they are best friends and they are still totally crazy for each other over a year later!)

 

Then I realised one day that hey, I don't truly want this guy, I just wanted to find what my friend did - I was lonely after my ex Andrew left me, I was a bit lost and Tim was right for me at the time.....

 

Now I am not at all jealous over my friends relationship as I just don't feel the need for a relationship at all - in fact, it will take someone very amazing to make me want to settle for the one person for life - finding the "one" person for life isn't very appealing to me, as it is near impossible to ever find high passion with a loyal and loving partner.

 

I am truly happy single and I have no desire to sleep around with multiple men...

 

I masturbate in order to settle urges, I don't feel any need to have to find new men all the time to satisfy me:sick:

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I am aloud to dump a guy that I am bored with! It doesn't say ANYTHING bad about me, personally!

It just means that I was dead against staying with HIM and only HIM for months, years and the rest of my life possibly! I KNEW it wasn't "it" for me!

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I never met Berlin guy..

 

He came to visit me but I wasn't home...

 

That night I put my foot in my mouth again and said something weird and he decided to not meet with me again....

 

So our paths nearly crossed again but last minute, I ruined it again..

 

I didn't say anything that bizarre - he still has me on facebook and he still likes some of my status's and selfies...

 

With men I truly like I always mess it up - I just act aloof or strange or over eager or SOMETTHING just goes wrong......Whenever I find a guy I truly like and who seems decent.

 

Maybe in another year, me and Berlin guy can think about meeting again....

 

Sigh.

 

He will always be a person I think of/what could have been/ why not?

 

I don't feel shameful about it either - so what, he prob doesn't think about me at all while I do think of him. It happens...

 

It is not like it was because I wasn't good enough for him - he just obviously felt it wasn't "right" to meet with me.

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I don't need to stay single for many years - a year or two sounds good to me or maybe more as I don't believe that I can find everything I am looking for in the one person and last a life time it is just not realistic to me.

 

As for my ex, I DID think I was in love with him at the time! The trouble was, I was looking for love! I wanted what my friend had - she met a guy, had instant sparks, they were crazy for each other from day one and they have ended up staying together and they are just as passionate as they were on day one!

 

I wanted what my friend had and so I was looking to falsely create chemistry, I met my ex and I wanted him to be the one for me.. I WANTED to find the "one".

 

When you are too desperate to seek out a relationship it will NEVER. WORK. EVER.

 

I did nothing wrong here! I met a guy, at the time I wanted to find happiness in love so I falsely jumped into a relationship with a man who happened to truly fall in love with me; months later I realised that I wasn't actually in a place to pick a life partner!

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