DudeMan27 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 ]Amonth ago I met this girl (admittedly on Tinder) I've never so much as talkedto someone else on there but I began speaking with her, she was very cute,close by, and we had some mutual friends. We spent the better part of the lastmonth texting, occasioning talking on the phone. She works at a restaurant soher hours are really crazy, I'm a Monday-Friday but I work til 8pm andsometimes go into my office, which is an hour away so its been hard gettogether. 3 times she has called me during the week when her shift was overthat she was going out for a few drinks and wanted me to join. I was eitherstill working, traveling back from work, or had to get up really early andcould not. There was also a time on the weekend she wanted to meet up but I hadtoo many drinks that afternoon with friends and was not going to drive. Fastfwd to 10 days ago. We were both going to be at a football game and were tryingto meet up. But with the size of the city and where we both were tailgating wewere too far apart. On the way back home she called me a few times and textedme (she was obviously had a bit to drink) that they were going out once theygot home and wanted me to meet her. I wanted to get a shower and nap in (hadbeen up since 5am) but I did agree to meet her. I drive to the bar, look aroundand she is nowhere. It was almost 11pm by then so I was sure her friends tookher home. I woke up the next morning to just a text that said “Sorry” and Itold her it was fine. We haven’t spoken since then. I’m not angry at all forher persuading me to meet her then leaving. I’m actually more angry at myselffor essentially blowing her off every time she asked me to meet, and I’m afraidshe may have gotten tired of my “games. I do admit it wasn’t always work that kept me from meeting her. For whateverreason my confidence level hasn’t been high lately and since she basicallyknows me only by photos, that puts extra pressure on me having not actually metbefore. So I kept pushing it off hoping for maybe a group setting to come upor, I don’t know, something less stressful than a full on date. That not afterthe game she called me but I told her I wasn’t sure if I was coming out (I wastired and wanted to sober up) she said “whatever, I’m never asking you to doanything again.” In a disappointed kind of voice. My question is, after notspeaking for nearly 2 weeks, is there anything I can do to go aboutreconnecting? I do like her and I want to see where things could go with thisgirl, but I’m afraid that if she asks me to do something one more time and Ilegit have a reason I can’t, that that will be it. I don’t blame her if shethinks im playing games, I’m really not. I’ve been thinking about her a lot and I do like this girl. One last thing, and this may or may not sound like me being crazy paranoid, butkind of what triggered my post – yesterday she posted a photo on facebook oftwo pumpkins her and a guy carved and tagged him in it. So naturally my mindgoes straight to “she moved on.” And I realize this guy could be anybody, butit just kind of made my heart sink as I had planned on trying to connect withher soon again. Is there anything I can do to begin speaking again? Im thinkingof just texting her tonight and letting her know why I haven’t talked to herand reassure her I am not mad about her leaving the bar before I got there. Imean she’s spent the better part of the month trying to see me, could she moveon that quick? She doesn’t seem like she already had this guy on the side, Idunno. I suppose it is possible. Link to post Share on other sites
GG3 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Awww. You sound so sweet. If I were her I would definitely think you weren't that interested though. I think you could still fix it though. I think you would have to make a plan and really stick with it. Probably one on one. Tell her you are sorry about all the mishaps and you kept screwing up but didn't mean to. I think if you are genuine about it like you are here she will still be interested. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DudeMan27 Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 Thanks for the kind words GG. And thanks for taking the time to read thru it. I'll probably send her message tonight just letting her know I'm sorry for not reaching out to her in almost two weeks. Hopefully I'll find out where I stand. Like I said, she spent the last few weeks trying to meet me, found and added me on facebook and a few weeks ago her friend even took the phone off of her in the car and said she really wanted to meet me. Hopefully she hasn't moved on or had other guys after her while I was busy turning her down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mentos Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Don't worry, be yourself! Go after her again. See if you can set up an actual planned time to meet up. Even if its late since she works restaurant hours, try it out. Don't want to lose out on a great thing. Worth a shot! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DudeMan27 Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 I just told her I wanted to apologize for not talking to her since last Saturday and that I didn't want it to come off that I was mad she left the bar early. She just replied "No at all. No worries!" and hasn't continued the conversation at all so while she's not upset, she's prob no longer interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Mentos Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 I just told her I wanted to apologize for not talking to her since last Saturday and that I didn't want it to come off that I was mad she left the bar early. She just replied "No at all. No worries!" and hasn't continued the conversation at all so while she's not upset, she's prob no longer interested. If you feel she has moved on, then do so yourself. Get out there and meet some new ladies! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DudeMan27 Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 We ended up just chatting through texts this evening, about our Halloween plans and such. I didn't want to ask to set a plan yet because I felt that's kind of a-hole-ish to not contact for 10 days then say "how bout a date?" We did mention briefly about the night she left before I showed up and she said "see if you didn't take that nap we could have hung out." So I'm happy she at least brought that up (even tho now I get to read a billion things into it) I'll probably check in with her this weekend and see how things go. I noticed tho the entire conversation she only texted as a response to my initial texts. That's never good I don't think. Then it hit me, she hasn't bothered to text me the last 10 days either. So combine those two and I have a feeling she's not interested in talking to me any longer. Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Here's what you do. Contact her and try to arrange a date at her convenience. Make time for her. I realize it's not ideal with your work schedule but if you want to see this girl you two have to work out your schedules together. I dated a girl that was the same way, always head-first into her work and never made time for me. It took an unbelievable amount of effort just to get her on a date with me, and it was really off-putting. Also, this is kind of cliche and it might not work with her restaurant setting, but girls love flowers. Have some flowers get delivered to her with a card saying you're sorry that you haven't been able to meet yet, but that you want to try. She will think it's sweet. Link to post Share on other sites
GG3 Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 We ended up just chatting through texts this evening, about our Halloween plans and such. I didn't want to ask to set a plan yet because I felt that's kind of a-hole-ish to not contact for 10 days then say "how bout a date?" We did mention briefly about the night she left before I showed up and she said "see if you didn't take that nap we could have hung out." So I'm happy she at least brought that up (even tho now I get to read a billion things into it) I'll probably check in with her this weekend and see how things go. I noticed tho the entire conversation she only texted as a response to my initial texts. That's never good I don't think. Then it hit me, she hasn't bothered to text me the last 10 days either. So combine those two and I have a feeling she's not interested in talking to me any longer. I think she is just being cautious and thinks you aren't truly interested. I would have done the same things she is doing. She probably didn't text you either because women are expected to not be chasing in the beginning and she didn't want to come off that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DudeMan27 Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Well I thank everyone for the help but my suspicions were confirmed. Just logged on to facebook and she posted two pics of that guy working in his shop saying "hard at work, while I relax with some wine :)" Same guy that tagged her in a photo the other day of the pumpkins they carved together. Its definitely my fault for turning her down about 5 times in the past month. I can't expect girls to wait around. Especially if she has someone else after her. I mean just 10 days ago we were making plans to meet up after the game, and that night I got 2 different calls and some texts to meet her at the bar. Wonder if she met him that night or he was talking to her as well. I can't count how many times when things don't go the way I'd like with someone I swear I'll be more confident and just go for it the next time, and I never come through. I dunno. This is a new one for me, hurt over I girl I haven't even met yet, but I guess that's gonna happen in the age we live in, when its easy to meet people online. Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Well I thank everyone for the help but my suspicions were confirmed. Just logged on to facebook and she posted two pics of that guy working in his shop saying "hard at work, while I relax with some wine :)" Same guy that tagged her in a photo the other day of the pumpkins they carved together. Its definitely my fault for turning her down about 5 times in the past month. I can't expect girls to wait around. Especially if she has someone else after her. I mean just 10 days ago we were making plans to meet up after the game, and that night I got 2 different calls and some texts to meet her at the bar. Wonder if she met him that night or he was talking to her as well. I can't count how many times when things don't go the way I'd like with someone I swear I'll be more confident and just go for it the next time, and I never come through. I dunno. This is a new one for me, hurt over I girl I haven't even met yet, but I guess that's gonna happen in the age we live in, when its easy to meet people online. Dude that could mean anything. Maybe they're just friends. Don't assume until you've talked to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Pick up you phone + Tell her your sorry you've been so unavaliable recently. + Tell her [you] [her] [place] [time] let's actually make this happen. = You get your anwser! An actual anwser, not second guessing what some picture on Facebook might mean and probably doesn't! You'll know where you stand one way or another! Link to post Share on other sites
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