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I might have made a mistake?


quidproquo89

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Right I have a date next Thursday - all sorted with the 25 year old.

 

I have been chatting to a 19 year old. She seems keen. I asked her when she is free for a date. She replied I'm very busy but I'd love to see you. I said how about tue/thurs or sun next week. She said she wont know till nearer the time. This was Tuesday. I messaged her tonight and she still doesn't know when she will be free.

 

This bit I did right. I said are you still interested, I don't want to waste my time (I said it nicer than that). She said yes meeting would be lovely.

 

As a sort of joke, I said. Don't keep me waiting too long coz I might get snapped up. I meant it as a joke and party subconsciously I was a little put off that she couldn't give me a single time in the next two weeks to go on a date.

 

She said have you been speaking to a few girls then.

 

Now mistake I said Quite a few.

 

She said fair enough ha ha. Well to be honest if things are going well with others pursue them. I don't know when I'll free yet and I don't want to be eventually free and you turn around and say your taken.

 

I said I'm interested in you and complimented her, said I'm looking forward to meeting and apologised and said I hope I haven't upset her.

 

She said thank you. I just don't like being like im on a deadline or in competition.

 

I said no pressure and she sent a smiley face.

 

I know I'm a complete idiot, I'm not the type to be so tactless or bring up that I'm talking to other women. I don't know why I did that.

 

What I do know however is that I was a bit put out that she hasn't set aside a time to meet me. She does sound genuinely busy. She has three jobs. But so do I. I wanted tonight to either set a date with her or leave it.

 

I compromised in letting her get back to me and I think by doing so I blurted out that I had other options.

 

Now I wonder if I've put her off now. I apologised so that's done with.

 

Should I message tomorrow asking about her day? Would I apologise again in this message? Am I wrong in being out out that she cant commit to a date in the next two weeks. But if she is genuinely busy then I have no right to be put out.

 

Should I even make a little light convo tonight bringing her round without apologising any more.

 

Have I screwed this up or what? Thoughts.

 

I acknowledge bringing up to one prospect that your seeing others is incredible tactless and dim-witted - I wont do that again

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Big mistake. Don't let one woman know what's going on with your other side plates.

 

I know I don't know why I did it. Fixable?

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The mistake you made was apologizing, not telling her about other chicks although it did seem like a desperate move.

 

When you make a mistake like that, definitely don't acknowledge it. Just keep moving forward. If that's the worst thing you said/did, you're fine.

 

Overthinking this will def mess you up.

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WhatIsLove2014
I know I don't know why I did it. Fixable?

 

I don't think so. I know I would be so over a guy who did that. Because it's not that you are dating other ppl but you did (jokingly) make it seem like a competition on top of pressuring her when she said she was busy. She was upfront that obviously she was really busy and if you couldn't deal with that then go date your other women.

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The mistake you made was apologizing, not telling her about other chicks although it did seem like a desperate move.

 

When you make a mistake like that, definitely don't acknowledge it. Just keep moving forward. If that's the worst thing you said/did, you're fine.

 

Overthinking this will def mess you up.

 

I wont apologise or talk about what was said again. Moving on. We'll see if we can continue regardless

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I don't think so. I know I would be so over a guy who did that. Because it's not that you are dating other ppl but you did (jokingly) make it seem like a competition on top of pressuring her when she said she was busy. She was upfront that obviously she was really busy and if you couldn't deal with that then go date your other women.

 

that's a buggar, well I've learnt not to do that again. Hopefullt it is salvageable but I'm prepared if it isnt

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I don't think you said anything earth shatteringly wrong, but I would move on from this prospect.

 

Too busy to set a date means too busy to date.

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QPQ,

 

This was Tuesday. I messaged her tonight and she still doesn't know when she will be free.

 

BS. She know when she is free or not, she's just keeping her options open.

 

Move on and look for some girl who is really interested in meeting you.

 

Good luck.

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QPQ,

 

 

 

BS. She know when she is free or not, she's just keeping her options open.

 

Move on and look for some girl who is really interested in meeting you.

 

Good luck.

 

I am looking at other women and have a date next week. I directly asked her if she was still interested and she said yes. My mistake about the dating other people was very silly indeed

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I don't think you said anything earth shatteringly wrong, but I would move on from this prospect.

 

Too busy to set a date means too busy to date.

 

cheers, coz im feeling pretty stupid atm

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Don't fret over this, realistically if she can't figure out when she can see you in two weeks, then she's either too busy to be dating anyway, or more likely, not as interested as you are and keeping her options open.

 

Stay in touch for a week or two with friendly chat as if it hadn't happened, without referring to either meeting up or your other dates. Then if you're still looking, and she's still talking to you, try again.

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Don't fret over this, realistically if she can't figure out when she can see you in two weeks, then she's either too busy to be dating anyway, or more likely, not as interested as you are and keeping her options open.

 

Stay in touch for a week or two with friendly chat as if it hadn't happened, without referring to either meeting up or your other dates. Then if you're still looking, and she's still talking to you, try again.

 

cheers man good idea. Everybody takes a bad step once in a while, this was mine

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cheers man good idea. Everybody takes a bad step once in a while, this was mine

 

Believe me I've done far worse. This one time several years back I was talking to an absolutely stunning 21 year old blonde girl. I made a bad and easily misreadable joke about stalker guys and sending penis pics. I got instantly blocked and felt like a total retard for quite some time!

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Believe me I've done far worse. This one time several years back I was talking to an absolutely stunning 21 year old blonde girl. I made a bad and easily misreadable joke about stalker guys and sending penis pics. I got instantly blocked and felt like a total retard for quite some time!

 

oh no! I guess we learn from these idiot mistakes. Sorry about that man.

 

The 19 year old and I have chatted since then so everything seems fine. I think she is quite a nice easy going person, so it should be fine :)

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QPQ,

 

 

 

BS. She know when she is free or not, she's just keeping her options open.

 

Move on and look for some girl who is really interested in meeting you.

 

Good luck.

 

^^^^^^

 

Andy that is actually very funny and does happen... at one of my jobs we are currently trying to figure out what the penis picture etiqute is... dont ask lol

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^^^^^^

 

Andy that is actually very funny and does happen... at one of my jobs we are currently trying to figure out what the penis picture etiqute is... dont ask lol

 

was that the right quote for the right response?

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I have been chatting to a 19 year old. She seems keen

 

Are you sure it is not you that is "keen", in your attempt to bang a young thing, and how old are you?

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Are you sure it is not you that is "keen", in your attempt to bang a young thing, and how old are you?

 

she seemed keen, yes. And I am not the kind of guy who just wants to 'bang' young things. I'm looking for more than that. I'm 25

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I don't think so. I know I would be so over a guy who did that. Because it's not that you are dating other ppl but you did (jokingly) make it seem like a competition on top of pressuring her when she said she was busy. She was upfront that obviously she was really busy and if you couldn't deal with that then go date your other women.

 

You don't ask women for advice on picking up women, you ask a guy who is good at picking up women.

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was that the right quote for the right response?

 

It was... sorry Andy K distracted me and reminded me of some funny stories... back on track she is another flake...

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WhatIsLove2014
You don't ask women for advice on picking up women, you ask a guy who is good at picking up women.

 

Uhhhhhh OK...

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no gender wars please folks. I've asked my sister a ton of times because she knows how womens minds works. Men who know how to get girls are helpful to hear from too

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no gender wars please folks. I've asked my sister a ton of times because she knows how womens minds works. Men who know how to get girls are helpful to hear from too

 

Sorry, but I have a woman friend who has tried to hook me up with her friends.

 

I've been able to predict her friend's behavior the minute I meet them, then she has done her whole life.

 

Don't ask the source of your goal, ask those who are successful. Or better yet, do what I did: put yourself out there and learn.

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Right I have a date next Thursday - all sorted with the 25 year old.

 

I have been chatting to a 19 year old. She seems keen. I asked her when she is free for a date. She replied I'm very busy but I'd love to see you. I said how about tue/thurs or sun next week. She said she wont know till nearer the time. This was Tuesday. I messaged her tonight and she still doesn't know when she will be free.

 

This bit I did right. I said are you still interested, I don't want to waste my time (I said it nicer than that). She said yes meeting would be lovely.

 

As a sort of joke, I said. Don't keep me waiting too long coz I might get snapped up. I meant it as a joke and party subconsciously I was a little put off that she couldn't give me a single time in the next two weeks to go on a date.

 

She said have you been speaking to a few girls then.

 

Now mistake I said Quite a few.

 

She said fair enough ha ha. Well to be honest if things are going well with others pursue them. I don't know when I'll free yet and I don't want to be eventually free and you turn around and say your taken.

 

I said I'm interested in you and complimented her, said I'm looking forward to meeting and apologised and said I hope I haven't upset her.

 

She said thank you. I just don't like being like im on a deadline or in competition.

 

I said no pressure and she sent a smiley face.

 

I know I'm a complete idiot, I'm not the type to be so tactless or bring up that I'm talking to other women. I don't know why I did that.

 

What I do know however is that I was a bit put out that she hasn't set aside a time to meet me. She does sound genuinely busy. She has three jobs. But so do I. I wanted tonight to either set a date with her or leave it.

 

I compromised in letting her get back to me and I think by doing so I blurted out that I had other options.

 

Now I wonder if I've put her off now. I apologised so that's done with.

 

Should I message tomorrow asking about her day? Would I apologise again in this message? Am I wrong in being out out that she cant commit to a date in the next two weeks. But if she is genuinely busy then I have no right to be put out.

 

Should I even make a little light convo tonight bringing her round without apologising any more.

 

Have I screwed this up or what? Thoughts.

 

I acknowledge bringing up to one prospect that your seeing others is incredible tactless and dim-witted - I wont do that again

 

You probably shouldn't have told her at that point and under those circumstances about seeing other women and putting her in the "competitive" mode. But . . .

 

Please, if she's upset about the fact that you are seeing other people, then she's delusional anyway. Really, you haven't even been out with her yet.

 

When people are "dating", they are dating. They are exploring options/opportunities. I always assume the men I date are seeing other women. I don't mind if they tell me that. What I do mind is them continuing to talk about them or mention them beyond that.

 

You should assume she's seeing other people too. And, so what. I would call her or message her if you don't have a phone number. Ask her directly if she's interested in meeting you. If she says yes but can't give a specific date, then say ok, you get in touch with me when you can make a date. Then you ask someone else out on a date, enjoy that date and keep moving. If you're snapped up, you're snapped up. If not, and you're still interested, go out with her. If she says no, problem solved.

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