WhisperingEyeLFC Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Hi guys, for those of you that haven't read or seen my last two posts in the last few days, here's a brief recap: After 5 week of No Contact the girl i used to date got back in contact with me after never initiating contact in the past when we was dating because she wanted me to chase her. Things ended before due to my lack of effort & contact inbetween dates. The Catch is, the last time we spoke 5 week's ago before she re-initiated contact, she told me she was "seeing someone else" however she also told the same thing when we was dating just so i'd make more of an effort to chase her when in fact she wasn't seeing anyone. Obviously as far as i'm concerned at the moment she is seeing someone in my eyes even though she did start to speak to me again and i think it would be stupid to think otherwise this time. Anyway things have been going pretty well at the moment, she's been replying to all my texts and contributing quite lot which i'm surprised at. The thing is, I feel like there needs to be more banter like there was in our convo last night but i guess that just comes along with what you're actually talking about. The main thing is i feel i need to initiate some flirting in the convo so we get to that comfortable level again and i feel she's sort of waiting for that me to initiate this to sparks things off again. It'll just make things so much easier for me as well after that, then it'll just flow naturally back an forth. Thing is i don't know how i cant initiate the flirting without it sounding so out of place/random and stupid. I feel like i need an incentive from her, like her saying something that i can lead on with, with some flirting if that makes sense. I thought about randomly bringing up in a convo "I've missed speaking to you" but i'm not sure if that's a wise thing to do depending on what her response will be and the fact that convo's inbetween dates lacked before. I know you can't really create a real connection over just text but i feel in my case that it's necessary to build at least something as it's been so long since we spoke. Then i can move on to calling her/ask her if she's seeing anyone/asking her out on a date. If i was the randomly call her now i'm pretty sure she wouldn't even pick up but that's just my point of view, and of course as you know 5 weeks ago she told me she was "seeing someone else" so as far as i'm concerned that's still the case even though she did initiate contact back with me. Some people have suggested just asking her out on a date but because of the situation i don't feel i can go out and just suggest a meet up at the moment & the other thing is she's away on holiday for a week from Saturday & i'm busy for the rest of the week so i got to keep contact going well for at least over another week before saying anything. Some of this stuff i've mentioned in my responses to people in my previous post's but i decided to make it a thread so i can get more peoples point's of view on things?/Their experiences on how they initiate flirting without it being weird & out of place?/Idea's on what i could say or how i could lead the convo to go this way?. She wants me to lead the convo pretty much so it's up me to take thing's a step further with a few risk's so i can get them back on track with her. I know this is a pretty long thread so thanks if you've taken the time to read this, I just feel this is one of the only things stopping me at the moment, i need to break down the wall a bit & get closer! Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Well my LDR told me once we started passed friendship, that she does not like flirting, being appeased and constant affection. That simple, go with what she wants from you. She can get flirted with by pros any time, so be what she wants from you and nobody else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Why are you bothering with someone who obviously enjoys playing stupid games with you? Just ask her out. Anything other than a "yes I'd love to", and you should move on and find someone more mature. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WhisperingEyeLFC Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 True say! don't push it basically, let it come naturally if that's what she even wants. Link to post Share on other sites
dragonfire13 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 She obviously likes hearing from you if she's reignited contact, and has played (some might say silly) games to try and get you to initiate contact with her more...so I think she will welcome some flirty talk which should be reassuring to you. Just be honest and expressive with how you feel and generally talk. You want it to be natural. I'd try adding genuine compliments into the convo to begin with, and take it from there. Try not to be too aggressive or suggestive (sexually) though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WhisperingEyeLFC Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 She obviously likes hearing from you if she's reignited contact, and has played (some might say silly) games to try and get you to initiate contact with her more...so I think she will welcome some flirty talk which should be reassuring to you. Just be honest and expressive with how you feel and generally talk. You want it to be natural. I'd try adding genuine compliments into the convo to begin with, and take it from there. Try not to be too aggressive or suggestive (sexually) though. Thanks for your advice! I spoke to her tonight and it stated off alright but the convo died off so quickly. It's so hard to keep a convo going with her sometimes, i'm lucky to get past 10 texts on each side. I understand what your saying by adding genuine compliments into the convo but it's so difficult when to convo's dry! After our last convo i feel like i'm falling in to the same sort of crap as it was before when i lost her! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 In this convo last night, did you ask her out? If not, maybe that's why she didn't make much effort to keep it going. Link to post Share on other sites
dragonfire13 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Thanks for your advice! I spoke to her tonight and it stated off alright but the convo died off so quickly. It's so hard to keep a convo going with her sometimes, i'm lucky to get past 10 texts on each side. I understand what your saying by adding genuine compliments into the convo but it's so difficult when to convo's dry! After our last convo i feel like i'm falling in to the same sort of crap as it was before when i lost her! Hmmm some people just aren't big texters. I used to be big into texting... until I got a smartphone. Now someone would be very lucky to get 10 text messages from me! After about 4 texts I usually end up ringing people. That could be it...sorry man, if she's not feeling it there's nothing you can do but don't take this as a reflection of her interest in you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WhisperingEyeLFC Posted October 24, 2014 Author Share Posted October 24, 2014 Nope i didn't ask her out, it just would of been so weird bringing that up as the convo was pretty sh*t. I think it would be better to ask if shes still seeing anyone before i ask her out but even bringing that up is hard. Just difficult trying to fit it in without it being like 'wtf' on her part if you get what i mean. It's just so odd how the convo the other day was really good and she was happy to hear from me sending kisses and **** then last night was completely different! But maybe your right, maybe she's waiting for me to initiate asking her out again but i find that hard to believe at the moment. Maybe she's just being friendly by just responding. I dunno if you saw the texts, it's confusing vibes! Thanks for getting back! Link to post Share on other sites
Author WhisperingEyeLFC Posted October 24, 2014 Author Share Posted October 24, 2014 Hmmm some people just aren't big texters. I used to be big into texting... until I got a smartphone. Now someone would be very lucky to get 10 text messages from me! After about 4 texts I usually end up ringing people. That could be it...sorry man, if she's not feeling it there's nothing you can do but don't take this as a reflection of her interest in you. Yeah i get what you're saying man, but i don't think it's that she's not a big texter. I just, well i dunno to be honest. I don't get how the other night she seemed really happy to hear from me and contributed quite a bit, then yesterday it being pretty sh*t with her not even sending little kisses at the end of her messages, not like the kisses part matters but it still kinda makes you think... wtf's happening? Maybe she's still interested, maybe she's not guess the only way to find out for sure is to ask. It's just difficult fitting it in. Thanks for getting back! Link to post Share on other sites
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