lotenyc7 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 So I've been into this woman for some time. I know she was just out of a relationship in the beginning of summer, which is when we met. Since then I've only seen her out with mutual friends. We did exchange numbers two months ago, but haven't seen each other since. I tried asking her out with me alone but she won't budge. She did come flat out and tell me she is emotionally unavailable, which I do commend her honesty. I stopped hitting her up, yet she will text me sporadically. However, it's on the same routine she checks in on me and how my weeks going. Which is sweet but when or will this ever go anywhere? She clearly knows I'm interested and not here to be friend zoned, so why is she hitting me up? When she knows my intentions. Can I open this emotional unavailable woman up?? and if so how???? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I don't think you can open her up. It just doesn't work that way. As to why she is continuing to text you but always turning you down - she's feeding her ego. As long as you keep replying and asking her out she feels desirable and wanted. She is feeding off of your attention. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lotenyc7 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 I don't think you can open her up. It just doesn't work that way. As to why she is continuing to text you but always turning you down - she's feeding her ego. As long as you keep replying and asking her out she feels desirable and wanted. She is feeding off of your attention. I Don't agree, She is a pretty serious woman from what I understand. I don't think she would bother going out of her way to talk to me is she didn't see something in the future Link to post Share on other sites
johnson_j Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I Don't agree, She is a pretty serious woman from what I understand. I don't think she would bother going out of her way to talk to me is she didn't see something in the future Then why did you ask? I agree with Mrin, she's just using you to show herself that a man is interested in her, and helping her recover from her ex. When she's ready to date again, $100 says she doesn't call you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I Don't agree, She is a pretty serious woman from what I understand. I don't think she would bother going out of her way to talk to me is she didn't see something in the future She texts you when she's bored. She told you straight out she is not emotionally available, why you don't believe her? Why does she have to want a relationship with you to text you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I Don't agree, She is a pretty serious woman from what I understand. I don't think she would bother going out of her way to talk to me is she didn't see something in the future Well she does need friends so why wouldn't she talk to you? You may be very easy to talk to and a nice person but she made it clear to you she is emotionally unavailable. Believe people when they tell you who they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I Don't agree, She is a pretty serious woman from what I understand. I don't think she would bother going out of her way to talk to me is she didn't see something in the future She may be emotionally unavailable but that doesn't mean she doesn't like getting attention and feeding her ego. She's not going out of her way to talk to you. She's just sending you text messages sporadically. You see it here all the time. They want nothing to do with you but will most certainly sniff around for attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 (edited) She told you straight out she is not emotionally available, why you don't believe her? Why does she have to want a relationship with you to text you? Excellent point Gaeta. I'm not sure I'm in full agreement that the ONLY reason why she's texting you is to feed your ego or because she's bored. I think another possible explanation is that she's still in a very vulnerable place having just broken up with her partner. She probably enjoys the new found attention you're giving her and especially the possibility of dating again (you or someone else). It's nice to be wanted. Is that so bad? Keeping the line of communication open with new prospects isn't all that unusual particularly with people who are getting over a significant break-up. It's a bit like taking baby steps towards being emotionally able and available to date again. How long will that take? Who the hell knows. What YOU need to remember is that this is out of your control. You either accept her and the situation for what they are or you don't. Hanging on with expectations is only going to frustrate you and scare her off. Edited October 22, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle Link to post Share on other sites
Brooke02 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Maybe she isn't attracted to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lotenyc7 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 Thank you all for giving me no hope Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 she checks in on me and how my weeks going. Which is sweet but when or will this ever go anywhere? Oh dear.....whatever you do, don't go down that rabbit hole. Th average woman coming out of a relationship, needs minimum 2yrs to get over it. If you involve yourself, there will be more drama than you can shake a stick at. Well of course if you like drama, go nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Code for "Im not interested" Link to post Share on other sites
CoolCat771 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I Don't agree, She is a pretty serious woman from what I understand. I don't think she would bother going out of her way to talk to me is she didn't see something in the future Then pull away and see what happens. Appearances can be deceiving. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I agree to a point... She could be feeding her ego, she could be lukewarm about you, and...she could be friend zoning you and using you as an emotional tampon. But, sometimes people are trying to thread lightly and once they warm up to you, they'll open up. You did say she just got out of a RL in summer and summer wasn't long ago. I tread cautiously too cuz I don't wanna get hurt...Once I get comfortable with people, I can relax and open up. I say give it some time, but don't allow her to see you as being more than friendly. Like, if she texts you don't respond immediately, don't drag it out, keep it short, sweet and simple - as if you weren't attracted to her in the least. Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Thank you all for giving me no hope Hope is probably the worst thing you could have after someone tells you they're emotionally unavailable. I've been there and done that and hope messed me up pretty damn good. And I was sleeping with the women I'm talking about. You might get her into bed but don't expect much more that a FWB from her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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