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I don't know if he's interested!


tryingtobesomeone

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tryingtobesomeone

So the story goes like this. I met this guy online about a month ago. We've talked almost everyday since, and have too many things in common. We seem to click very well. We have hung out 4 times now, which were all mutually initiated, and have gone super well! He ALWAYS pays for dinner and won't even allow me to attempt. He hasn't made any moves yet, not even hand holding! It's so disappointing, and on top of that he doesn't ever compliment me or say things that would hint to him liking me. And after our first two dates, he would text me making sure I got home okay, but after these last two dates i've been the one initiating contact, for the most part (but he doesn't usually let the conversation die, which allows me to think it's okay that a girl is texting a guy first) I want to know if he likes me, but I don't want to ruin what we could have by being to straight forward and asking him if he does. Is it too early to wonder this? Should I ask him? Or should I wait?

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He hasn't made any moves yet, not even hand holding! It's so disappointing,

 

What age category are we talking here? Additionally, what is stopping you from holding his hand / make the slight move of putting your head on his shoulder / rub his back as a signal?????

 

If he still doesn't pick up what you are throwing down, then you are in for the long haul.

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tryingtobesomeone

I'm 21 and he is 23! What's stopping me is, that he doesn't really "flirt", and i'm too insecure about what he might think, I want too. I just need to find the guts.

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InsaneTrombone
I'm 21 and he is 23! What's stopping me is, that he doesn't really "flirt", and i'm too insecure about what he might think, I want too. I just need to find the guts.

 

If he's continuing to take you out on dates and paying for everything, he's probably just shy or inexperienced with that stuff. Try taking the lead to give him the big bright red 'OK' sign.

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tryingtobesomeone
If he's continuing to take you out on dates and paying for everything, he's probably just shy or inexperienced with that stuff. Try taking the lead to give him the big bright red 'OK' sign.

Is it okay though, too ask him where he stands? Or is that crossing the line?

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xXMarlboro_ManXx

Going on 4 dates with someone you are not attracted to is just a waste of time. The guy just sounds shy or inexperienced, make a move OP start holding his hand etc. Good luck, you have nothing to lose.

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InsaneTrombone
Is it okay though, too ask him where he stands? Or is that crossing the line?

 

I'm pretty damn sure you don't need to ask anything. Just make the first move and I'm willing to bet he opens up a lot faster after that.

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Is it okay though, too ask him where he stands? Or is that crossing the line?

 

It could be perceived as pressure. Singer Jason Derulo recently dumped what's her face for pressuring him to put a ring on it.

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InsaneTrombone
It could be perceived as pressure. Singer Jason Derulo recently dumped what's her face for pressuring him to put a ring on it.

 

I agree. I wouldn't ask anything yet. Just make the first move for him. He will feel more comfortable after that and probably surprise you. If he is still the same way after you make the first move, then I'd ask that question.

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mortensorchid

I was in one of those situations a few years ago. No nothing but some hugging upon our parting ways. We had met online and we went out on a few dates here and there for a few times (we had met online as well). I wasn't attracted to him, either physically or otherwise, he was just boring. One day we just stopped texting and returning phone calls. I think you are in said same situation. Think it's time to move on.

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I wasn't attracted to him, either physically or otherwise

 

So what was the intent of the "few dates"????

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InsaneTrombone
I was in one of those situations a few years ago. No nothing but some hugging upon our parting ways. We had met online and we went out on a few dates here and there for a few times (we had met online as well). I wasn't attracted to him, either physically or otherwise, he was just boring. One day we just stopped texting and returning phone calls. I think you are in said same situation. Think it's time to move on.

 

So why continue going on the dates?

 

Regardless it's really different when you are constantly PAYING for the dates.

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Different experience here.

 

I had to initiate with my BF of 4 months. He didn't kiss me until the 7th date. He brought me flowers and in response I just said "give me a kiss!". And he did. It took off from there.

 

He's shy. I like shy guys, but they are a bit challenging to date and need a bit more encouragement and initiation from you. I also had to basically initiate sex. But it really took off from there and is great now, I feel this one will be for the long term!

 

Shy guys can be great, loyal, treat you right, agreeable, trustworthy. I like that type. Some other women find them boring. I like "boring", better boring than thrill seeking in my book. So you might have a chance. Although I wish you let him at least initiate the dates. I let mine initiate the dates and the majority of the contact, I just initiated the physical part.

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It could be perceived as pressure. Singer Jason Derulo recently dumped what's her face for pressuring him to put a ring on it.

 

Jordin Sparks...what an idiot. Him, not you, Tayken.

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tryingtobesomeone
I was in one of those situations a few years ago. No nothing but some hugging upon our parting ways. We had met online and we went out on a few dates here and there for a few times (we had met online as well). I wasn't attracted to him, either physically or otherwise, he was just boring. One day we just stopped texting and returning phone calls. I think you are in said same situation. Think it's time to move on.

Yeah, that wasn't the case at all. I'm definitely interested and attracted to him, he isn't the least bit boring.

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WhisperingEyeLFC

I think he might be a bit worried how you'd react if he sort of put himself out there and started flirting with you over text and like a few of the previous posters have said, he may lack confidence. If you've been out on four dates then i think there should definitely be more closeness by now. I think the next time you see him/speak to him over text or phone, maybe put your self out there a bit so he knows that your really attracted to him. You initiate the first hand hold & kiss so he knows you ready/comfortable with it. I know girls prefer the guy to do this sort of thing, but sometimes its a lot harder than you think for the guy to put himself out there without feeling he's making the girl uncomfortable.

 

I also think he might be a bit lost in how to start the flirting/compliments over text. I'm sort of in the same situation with a girl that i used to date who i'm now trying to start things back up with. I don't really know how to initiate the flirting/compliments without it sounding so out of nowhere/random & stupid. I feel like i need an incentive from the girl, like her saying something that i can lead on with, with some flirting if that makes sense.

 

So just out of curiosity what do you expect from a guy from the girls point of view? how would you liked to be flirted/complimented without sounding to random and out of place? I kind of need some tips myself!

 

Cheers!

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Edit: Whoops, I replied to the wrong thread. My bad. My post was not helpful at all here. Disregard.

 

 

Edit 2: Ok so after reading the main post my advice is this. This guy likes you. Clearly. He's being a gentleman and he's taking care of you on dates, even going out of his way to make sure you get home alright. As far as who texts first, that's all nonsense. As a guy, I LOVE it when a lady texts me first. It shows me she truly cares and wants to talk to me. I've never been a fan of the cold shoulder some girls like to give. It doesn't make me interested in them any more, it only drives me crazy trying to figure out where I stand with you.

 

You shouldn't be worried about being direct with him. He likes you, he won't mind it. If anything it will clear things up for you both. Let him know how you feel. Good luck.

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mortensorchid
So what was the intent of the "few dates"????

 

I think we were both bored or looking for something to do. And hey, I got a few meals out of it. Life goes on. I'm sure whatever he is doing today he looks back on it and feels the same way. No harm, no foul.

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I think we were both bored or looking for something to do. And hey, I got a few meals out of it. Life goes on. I'm sure whatever he is doing today he looks back on it and feels the same way. No harm, no foul.

 

No offense but that's terrible. You said you thought he was boring and weren't attracted to him, but you still went on dates and let him pay for your meals and strung him along? Not cool.

 

I dated a girl about a month back and we had the same issue where we just didn't click at all and that was that. Except I only spent about 3-4 dollars on her coffee. She was at least nice enough not to waste my time or money over something we both knew wasn't going anywhere.

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So the story goes like this. I met this guy online about a month ago. We've talked almost everyday since, and have too many things in common. We seem to click very well. We have hung out 4 times now, which were all mutually initiated, and have gone super well! He ALWAYS pays for dinner and won't even allow me to attempt. He hasn't made any moves yet, not even hand holding! It's so disappointing, and on top of that he doesn't ever compliment me or say things that would hint to him liking me. And after our first two dates, he would text me making sure I got home okay, but after these last two dates i've been the one initiating contact, for the most part (but he doesn't usually let the conversation die, which allows me to think it's okay that a girl is texting a guy first) I want to know if he likes me, but I don't want to ruin what we could have by being to straight forward and asking him if he does. Is it too early to wonder this? Should I ask him? Or should I wait?

 

Wait for him to demonstrate it clearly. I've dated men who were just plain too respectful and nervous to make advances. One guy I had gone out on 5 dates with, finally, after the 6th date, blurted it out. "I can't hold back anymore, I'm going to kiss you" and planted one on me that made my toes curl. If you like him enough to go out a few more times, go ahead. In the meantime, date others, enjoy yourself and see what happens.

 

Also consider your signals. Are you giving him the vibe and/or opportunity to make an advance? Like when he drops you home, do you turn toward him, look him in the eyes, hesitate? He might not be getting enough of a vibe from you to make the leap.

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