hurts_so_bad Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Hey guys its been a while since Ive been on..Just trying to live life I guess and do the best I can.. Just looking for advice here on dating cause it seems Im doing something wrong... Ive been dating but it always seems like the age old saying, " The ones you want dont want you and the ones you dont want, want you!" Its not easy out there but it makes it even harder when you have the options but it feels like people are playing you and you dont know how to combat it.. I was seeing a girl who was on and off with her long time boyfriend..I didnt know at first but by the time I found out I was a bit emotionally invested..Things were hot and heavy at first then she started flaking, Saying she was going to come by and never showed up and things like that..I pretty much had a blow out with her about it and didnt talk with her for a while...It ends up she goes back with hime and gets prego.. In the meantime she continues to contact me on FB and came by my house one day to talk (nothing happened) and continues to call or stop by from time to time..The last time she came by was with her new born baby...I congradulated her, we talked for a bit and she split..The next day I get an email from her saying how I never gave her a hug and asks, what the problem would it bother your girlfreind? She thinks I have a girlfriend.. Now this to me is all behavior that shows interest, Am I wrong? In turn I ask her, Well what is it your looking for? Her response is..Hugs will have to do so I said to her Yes I think thats best.. Now lets move on to my ex wife...I have been trying to be as good with her as possible being she isnt killing me with child support and acting like a decent person so I play the same role in return...She has a boyfriend and to be honest she pretty much only contacts me about the kids but lately she has been contacting me about every little issue with the kids and contacted me last week cause she needed me to go to the bank with her to cash a check.. I was on a 30 hr tuna fishing trip that I just got back from so I told her I couldnt do it that day that it would have to wait till another day..She said Oh my god! Did you catch anything? I sent her a pic of the tuna and she said thats awesome! I sent her a few other pics and she was telling me how beautiful the sunset picture was and the video of the dolphins I sent her was and the my daughter loved it..Again maybe I am imagining things but this to me again seems like behavior that shows interest but then it dies! I have another girl who I met last year..I went on one date with her which went well but nothing came out of it..she still contacts me here and there to say hello and that we should get together...The last time she contacted me she told me exactly that..I said to her well let me know when your free and lets see what we can do..Never heard back from her... AM I NUTS! What is it here Im doing wrong? It seems like Im being played left and right and I just have chicks here that put the bait out now and then just to see if I will bite to only take it away again.. My question is how do I remedy this? Some people say just walk away and dont talk to them anymore, lets call this option 1 Others say, Just play the game, Its a numbers game, Lets call this option 2.. I can see how both make sense but they both have their draw backs as well Option 1 actually creats attraction by walking away... Many women will wonder why your not answering back and start chasing after you but on the other hand you may never hear from them again which kind of kills the idea of hooking up with them ever.. Option 2 keeps the lines of communication open but at the same time kind of makes you look like your still waiting around and will accept any kind of dumbass behavior from them like not responding back to texts from you after they initiate texting and when you respond they dont answer back.. Its such a friggin game and to be honest I feel Im on the losing end of the stick and Im getting tired of it..I for once want to have the power to have women chase after me instead of feeling like a dummy wasting my time with women who tease me but dont please me! lol...Any solid advice from you guys out there would be appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Just move on and start dealing with non flaky women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Woman 1. you talk about has a bf and a new baby and is showing interest in you- unless you want to be part of her family- I'd be telling her to shove off and get back to her partner. Woman 2. The ex-wife. Is showing interest despite having a bf- did you split over infidelity?- ex's belong in the past. Forget her. I attempted a reconciliation with my ex-hubby. I wasted a good 6 months of my life...when I shouldn't have, I'd already wasted years and knew it would never work. Woman 3. To me it sounds like you're not assertive enough. Make a date, tell her when you're free. Never resort to game playing, be up front, be honest and let 'em know what you want from them....and avoid women with bf's or husbands or recently seperated. P.S Your fishing trip sounds cooool!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted October 21, 2014 Author Share Posted October 21, 2014 Fishing trip was really cool thanks! I guess Im still searching on what kind of man to be in a way... After my breakup (it was a long story mistakes on both sides) I was lost and still am in some ways.. I found it very hard to be alone and dealt with just anybody as not to be...In some cases Im still afraid to be alone in which Im seeing a girl that Im not all that attracted to just to keep my mind occupied and to have company... I know its probably not the right thing to do but Im sure everyone has done this before at times..Besides, she is really cool and Im hoping maybe something can come out of it in the future.. I find myself battling with myself I guess to just turn away p[eople who act with 2nd class behavior but in the meantime that "being alone" thing creeps in my head and makes it hard.. I know my best option is to just drop the idiots from my life and move on.. Link to post Share on other sites
Anderlie Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 To be harsh for a moment you shouldn't be speculating at all about what is going on with the first two women because they have partners, you should just walk away and let them live their dramas. Shut them down emphatically if you have to. Besides that I second Mrs Rubble, they sound like trouble anyway. The one with the baby definitely sounds like she's keeping you on the hook, especially since she has a history of bouncing back and forth and between partners. Your ex is a tad more difficult because you have to talk to her but keep it platonic and it will probably die down. Maybe once you do walk away from all that you'll find yourself more emotionally available for someone really good! Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 1. Chick #1 already has a bf and a baby 2. Chick #2 is your ex-wife. It didn't work out. She has no incentive to be good to you. 3. Chick #3, well, sometimes things don't work out. But, from what you said about Chick #1 and #2, maybe you seem to have a habit of picking similar women? My point is, I don't think you can do anything to teach a flake a lesson cuz - as you posted about these three chicks is they all got other stuff going on. So, whether or not you do this or that isn't gonna make them more interested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 After my breakup (it was a long story mistakes on both sides) I was lost and still am in some ways.. It behooves you to sort yourself out first before trying to take plunge again into the abyss that is relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 It behooves you to sort yourself out first before trying to take plunge again into the abyss that is relationship. Well thats one of the reasons Im on here asking questions trying to figure myself out..How to react toward women who flak and so forth..Its confusing when your not sure if you should keeo being involved with women who waste your time thinking maybe something someday will come of it or just to frop em..Like I said there are pro's n cons to both sides of that and how to handle it...Im looking for a real relationship sometime in the future but like you said, I need to straighteen myself out first so thats why I am here.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 but like you said, I need to straighteen myself out first so thats why I am here. I am glad you took something away from my post i.e. saw where I was coming from. I don't think you should rush anything, they usually say things happen when you are least expecting it. Link to post Share on other sites
Copelandsanity Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 #1 - You dodged a bullet. Be grateful. #2 - Be happy she's happy. #3 - Potential booty call Get on it! Link to post Share on other sites
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