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How long should you be chatting with someone on OLD before you mention exchanging num


quidproquo89

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How long should you be chatting with someone on OLD before you mention exchanging numbers? Days wise and messages wise. Too early seems too eager but if you let the convos drag on it becomes stale.

 

I.e One girl I've been messaging for like three days. One just tonight. Another on and off for a month - last one however ignored me giving her my number but is still responding to my messages, do you get that?

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For me it all depended on the connection I had with the lady. But on average 3 or so days. I basically just would say, "hey MatchMail/CupidMail drives me a bit nuts. My phone number is xxxxxx. Ping me if you want. Would love to hear from you" or something like that. I would just give them mine and tell them reach out to me rather than ask for theirs. 9 times out of 10 I would get a text within an hour.

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I don't give out my number until we meet. On OLD people disappear quit often, if I gave out my # that would be a lot of strangers with it. It's better, especially with the wackos I've come across.

 

If she's still responding she's prob interested but not ready to exchange #'s yet.

:-)

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How long should you be chatting with someone on OLD before you mention exchanging numbers? Days wise and messages wise. Too early seems too eager but if you let the convos drag on it becomes stale.

 

I.e One girl I've been messaging for like three days. One just tonight. Another on and off for a month - last one however ignored me giving her my number but is still responding to my messages, do you get that?

 

The girls I'm meeting tonight give me her number after four messages (two days) ... I told her to text me at xxx-xxx-xxx because I'm going to xxxx. Work almost all the time !

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I don't give out my number until we meet. On OLD people disappear quit often, if I gave out my # that would be a lot of strangers with it. It's better, especially with the wackos I've come across.

 

If she's still responding she's prob interested but not ready to exchange #'s yet.

:-)

 

really? I thought a phone number was the stepping stone to meeting with somebody. Is this a common thing? Somebody will meet you but not want to give their number out?

 

Sounds a bit backwards to me

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A few minutes is fine as long as the chatting online was going smoothly.

 

A few minutes? what do you mean?

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I'm chatting to three girls I gave my number to three of them and they haven't texted. One of which is still chatting to me on OLD still. Don't know why you would keep chatting to someone but not talk to them on texting?

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I'm chatting to three girls I gave my number to three of them and they haven't texted. One of which is still chatting to me on OLD still. Don't know why you would keep chatting to someone but not talk to them on texting?

 

How do you ask her ?

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How long should you be chatting with someone on OLD before you mention exchanging numbers? Days wise and messages wise. Too early seems too eager but if you let the convos drag on it becomes stale.

 

I don't think there's a one size fits all answer. There's no "should". Some people want to chat online for a while before feeling comfortable enough to exchange numbers, and some people will assume you're never going to ask them out on a date if you haven't done so by the 5th message (or some other number) and will delete/block you... and every behaviour in between.

 

Sometimes I haven't had her number until the end of the first date. Sometimes I ask for it in the 3rd message that I send. Typically I ask them out on a date before I ask for their number, but not always.

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I would chat via OL at least 2 days before giving my number if I were you. Because what if they're annoying or blowing you up? Then you would regret giving them your number. /=

 

 

I mean, ya you can just block them if it becomes a problem. But I still say wait until day 2. That's hardly waiting at all anyways.

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It was seldom that we spoke on the phone before meeting - maybe a quarter of my dates at most. If we did talk, it was often very brief, just to finalize plans and directions if needed. Until you have a sense of body language and unspoken cues, talking can be misleading. After meeting, these things fall into place and it's easier to talk on the phone - at least for me.

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How do you ask her ?

 

like you would normally ask. At the end of a message I'd say something like I prefer talking on the phone texting or heres my number etc. Just normally like taking things a step further

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so after you give your number to as girl who seemed interested and she then doesn't send you a text or respond to your old message. Would you message again or what - we were messaging fine yesterday?

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People will just disappear even when it seems to be going ok/good.. You know this right? ..it's OLD.

 

yeah of course :).

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Not sure what OLD is but the girl I met on Tinder I gave my number to a few hours after we matched. We exchanged several messages on the app before that but ultimately it's a lot easier to text and she agreed. I don't think there's any set amount of time you have to wait. I think at some point in the conversation you feel it's going somewhere and you take that step. Don't be afraid to ask.

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WhatIsLove2014

Yea, it depends on the person. The guy im dating now, I met on Tinder and we chatted for a hr or 2 before we exchanged numbers.

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i'm getting a bit too obsessed by pof, because I keep getting just about enough attention to keep me interested.

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I don't give out my number until we meet. On OLD people disappear quit often, if I gave out my # that would be a lot of strangers with it. It's better, especially with the wackos I've come across.

 

If she's still responding she's prob interested but not ready to exchange #'s yet.

:-)

 

Agreed...

 

I had one guy blow up my phone only after one date - where I was friendly and simply was not attracted to him. I also had guys text/call me when I'm trying to get some sleep.

 

Besides, for the times I chatted them up before meeting in person - still, meeting in person is what made me decide whether or not we were a match.

 

It does get weird cuz when you're setting up the date, they ask like 'How will I know you are you?' and I'm like 'I'll be wearing X, what will you be wearing?'

 

Also, it may turn off some guys cuz when you don't wanna give up the number till you meet, they think you're not interested...If I feel that they are thinking that, I just let them know I had some bad experiences in giving out my number before meeting in person.

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Agreed...

 

I had one guy blow up my phone only after one date - where I was friendly and simply was not attracted to him. I also had guys text/call me when I'm trying to get some sleep.

 

Besides, for the times I chatted them up before meeting in person - still, meeting in person is what made me decide whether or not we were a match.

 

It does get weird cuz when you're setting up the date, they ask like 'How will I know you are you?' and I'm like 'I'll be wearing X, what will you be wearing?'

 

Also, it may turn off some guys cuz when you don't wanna give up the number till you meet, they think you're not interested...If I feel that they are thinking that, I just let them know I had some bad experiences in giving out my number before meeting in person.

 

So with girls I was easily chatting with that didn't respond after giving them my number. What then pretend it didn't happen and try to arrange a meet accepting they done want to give out there number?

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for me it usually takes 2 days. as long as you are getting along with the person, i do not see what the big deal is.

 

oh its not a big deal, I was chatting to girls for days and as soon as I mention phone numbers they disappear. I know OLD is an odd thing, but strange they all have done it at once :S

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So with girls I was easily chatting with that didn't respond after giving them my number. What then pretend it didn't happen and try to arrange a meet accepting they done want to give out there number?

 

Well, maybe they got upset cuz they thought you wanted them to call you? Cuz, maybe they wanted you to ask for their number and call them?

 

Or,

 

Maybe they felt awkward calling you and having to block their tel. I've done that a few times when guys have given me their number...But, it felt awkward.

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Typically, I like to suggest moving things to the phone after I get at least two responses from a girl. So, it would be on my third message assuming I sent the first one. I've given my number out after only an hour of chatting but it was going well and she texted me the next day. Unfortunately, she was never willing to meet. I've also found that in most cases when I suggest moving to the phone I never hear from them again or they will continue chatting a little more (leading to nothing). I'd respect them telling me they don't want to share their number, but so far no one has been open about that to me. I'm wondering if I should just bypass the phone and ask to meet from now on.

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