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Unable/afraid to show her affection?


Moonwalker1982

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Moonwalker1982

Hi all,

 

 

I will try to keep this as short as possible. I tend to write walls and walls of text, but i won't. I am a 32 year old guy and if i have to be honest...not since Valentines Day 2008 (when my girlfriend broke up with me) i've had a serious relationship and to be even more honest...cause i am not ashamed of it, i have barely been busy with the dating game as well. So early last year via a friend i got to meet a female friend of his, we started hanging out now and then and pretty soon i noticed that i liked her in that 'special' way, so i simply told her that. She told me she'd rather first get to know me and then we'll see. Fair enough, right? But as the months went by, eventually we started hanging out more. You know, she coming to my place, a bit of talking, some dinner, movie or a game of Mario and it was her that most of the time called me or messaged me to hang out.

 

 

And while at first in the beginning it was like...we'd hang out once in a few months, it soon became once every month and now it's once every week or more. So in July this year i spoke about my feelings for her again, while it is not that i am in love with her heed over heels, there IS something more. Basically i'm definitely interested in more, you know...more coziness if you will, cuddling, just more closer to eachother. She said the same that she wasn't in love with me head over heels, but that she definitely did wanted to give this a shot...give us a shot. So we went on a few dates, you know, pool, dinner, movie at home or cinema.

 

 

A few times now we simply openly spoke about it, multiple times i've told her i definitely really like her but that this whole thing has been such a long time ago for me....that i had somewhat difficulties in showing her affection. She messaged me and said, look...you did just now say those things, that's also affection and it's nice for me to hear that. Who knows in the future things go easier for you when it comes to this.

 

 

Since July up till now there has also been plenty of flirting on the phone messenger. You know...kissy icons, those are not things 'just friends' send eachother in my book. Not only that, also voice clips of her where she'd go ''Sweet (my name), thank you for a wonderful day..etc''. Or out of the blue she'd send a picture of herself with her hair loose and i'd then reply back on how good she looks with the hair looks, i even said it looked sexy, etc. So it definitely seems that the interest is mutual, but the problem is....neither of us is making a move. I am the guy and i must make the first move, i realize that, but for some reason i have so much difficulties with showing her some affection. The thought of cuddling with her, or holding her while watching movies at home or the cinema sounds like the best thing ever to me...so WHY do i keep postponing it? I still act like a good friend with her, i've yet to do something unexpected like simply putting my arm around her when watching a movie. I do keep telling myself 'Dude....you got nothing to lose. She'll probably actually really like it if you hold her'' But after a nice cinema night or at my place or hers...i end up doing....zero.

 

 

Maybe it's because i don't really get the feeling that she's into me like that, maybe she's also not too good at showing that. Except for certain looks she has given me. And again, all that flirting (it clearly is in my opinion) has to mean something. She probably is waiting for me to make a move. It's also that we as good friends are anything but physical, we are not very touchy at all, platonic is the right word? So the thought of going further than just this, it feels somewhat unusual. And i hate it that i feel like that, cause again....i really really do want us to be more. Is there any advice people can give me here?

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1st of all, stop verbalizing your feelings.

You put needy pressure on her by saying lame crap.

Just do less talking about your feelings in general, and let her be the woman

 

2nd, Take baby steps when being physical with her.

Take her hand, read her palm if you need something to do.

Crack her knuckles.

Play with her hair - a favorite of mine

Smell her hair

 

After you do these more, she'l;l get more close to you.

Do things like rub her back when you give hugs.

Try to build that physical rapport with her.

You really want to show her that you love her and avoid telling her

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