The I've been busy with a Million things line

[frozengirl]

Who here has heard this line before? Was it true or was it just an excuse line to cut you off from the dating scene. What are your thoughts?

[princess_peach]

Always an excuse, unless it's followed by a request for a date (e.g. "I've been busy with a million things, but I have time Thursday night if you want to get together.")

[frozengirl]

Well he told me he's been busy applying to jobs and having visits with his mom and step mom. So I believe that but part of me just feels it's going down hill. Him and I didn't talk for 2 days at all and the times we did it was only for like an hour or he would take 3 hours to a text I had sent him. I don't know what to do he says he misses me and I am cute.

[mammasita]

I've used it MANY times. Always an excuse. Someone who wants to see you will make time/find time/have time no matter what is going on.

 

A text takes 30 seconds.

Setting up a date takes 10 minutes.

[stillafool]

Well he told me he's been busy applying to jobs and having visits with his mom and step mom. So I believe that but part of me just feels it's going down hill. Him and I didn't talk for 2 days at all and the times we did it was only for like an hour or he would take 3 hours to a text I had sent him. I don't know what to do he says he misses me and I am cute.

 

Yeah it's best to move on and start dating others. A man will always find time to see a woman if for no other reason than sex. When they make excuses and low contact it's usually because they have interest in someone else.

[amaysngrace]

People who are too busy to date don't.

 

It's a line people use to blow you off unless they back it up with some good reasons on how they've been so busy.

 

If they don't take the time to explain the ways in which they've been so busy lately then it's because you aren't worth the time it takes for them to explain their recent absence.

[mightycpa]

For me, "a million things" was usually one or two other people.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I've used it MANY times. Always an excuse. Someone who wants to see you will make time/find time/have time no matter what is going on.

 

A text takes 30 seconds.

Setting up a date takes 10 minutes.

 

I second this. Full on excuse. If someone really wants to see you and make time for you they will. Period.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

It depends. I've personally used the I've been busy excuse but each time it's meant a variety of things. In the past when I said "I've been busy" it's usually meant:

 

 

1. I'm losing/lost interest in you.
   
2. I've been seeing other people
   
3. I've been dealing with family/work/friend drama and didn't have the energy to deal with romantic pursuits.
   
4. I've been working my ass off and I've been so tired all I want to do at the end of the day is throw on a t-shirt, drink beer and watch baseball until I pass out.
   
5. My depression came back/I was in a slump.
   
6. I've been second guessing your interest and wanted you to show a bit more enthusiasm toward me.
   
7. I like you but I'm being distant in an attempt to sabotage things cause hey, that's what I do.
   

Ah, god I'm such a well put-together emotionally stable human being. Reading some of those back to myself really paints a lovely picture.

 

Anyway OP, while yes, the most likely answer is that he's just BSing you, sometimes life really does get in the way and if you're still in the beginning phases with someone, no matter how much you like them, interacting with them still gets pushed to the backburner. I say this as someone who rarely falls 'head over heels' for someone so I'm not one of those people who will drop everything to be with/near the person I like no matter what.

[BlueIris]

(OP: “Him and I didn't talk for 2 days at all and the times we did it was only for like an hour or he would take 3 hours to a text I had sent him.”)

 

Evidently there are different expectations re. communication frequency. I personally wouldn’t be alarmed by not talking for 2 days or by taking 3 hours to return a text (I took longer than that just yesterday, the men I date typically take that long or longer-work, kids, activities). If our phone conversations were always more than an hour (you say “only” an hour), we wouldn’t be having conversations often. The longest phone conversation I’ve ever had with the man I’m dating was 30 minutes. Usually they’re 10 minutes, and only a couple of times a week.

 

If I were dating someone who got upset by these things, and was ready to toss it all after only two days, we wouldn’t be compatible. I’d feel suffocated.

[cif]

Assuming this is your BF, I wouldn't worry unless he hasn't made plans to see you soon. Try setting something up, if he gives you an excuse then move on.

[frozengirl]

Yeah he says he misses me and says he still likes me and I am going to set up a date for later this week.

[ktya]

Who here has heard this line before? Was it true or was it just an excuse line to cut you off from the dating scene. What are your thoughts?

 

Last time I got this line it was totally an excuse to make the fade out.

 

I was seeing this girl for about a month almost weekly. Was trying to set up another date and she was just busy busy busy. She was working 3 jobs and had friends coming and going from out of town so it was very plausible. The busy busy busy crap kept coming for two more months.

 

In the end I happened to be right in her neighborhood and offered to pop by her house just to say hi, she again claimed she was busy busy busy working on a project for work and I said no worries I'll just come by have a smoke with you and be gone in 15 minutes. She then offered to meet me in a coffee shop.

 

She then proceeded to make use of all these props, paper after paper after paper of stuff she had to read and review for work. It was legitimate work stuff, so I was buying it at first... but then when she could see that I wasnt taking the "hint" she said she didn't have time for a boyfriend because she was so busy and suggested that I have a nice summer.

 

Ironically I was trolling on POF later that day and saw a recently posted profile posted a few weeks back complete with a better picture. I met her on OKC.

 

She could have just told me she wasnt interested anymore. When I met her I told her I wasnt looking for a girlfriend or anything serious and that I was seeing other people.

 

Chick sucked in bed anyway.

[rester]

I've absolutely been too busy to contact a woman or to go out with her. It's a rejection, but it's not really personal. Sometimes there is too much going on to bother with dates. Many times I have wished I had the time, because I was very interested, but ultimately had to decline because I was too busy.

 

My point is that it's a rejection but not one to take too personally.

[frozengirl]

Well this guy is making time for me after all because we have a date on Friday in which I will be meeting his parents and hanging at his place.

[cmonman]

That's great to hear! The girl I'm dating for a similar amount of time is actually being the same way because she is changing jobs. We had a conversation right before she got distant a few weeks ago where she said she was interested in a relationship, but since then there has been almost no mention. Her parents are coming in town this weekend, I'm curious if she'll want me to meet them haha.

[irc333]

Or, "I have a lot going on in my life right now." line.

 

 

Who here has heard this line before? Was it true or was it just an excuse line to cut you off from the dating scene. What are your thoughts?

[GemmaUK]

I use that line...when it's real and I am really stuck time wise.

Not for any other reason.

[frozengirl]

Well tomorrow's date is happening at 5PM at his place.

[Mrin]

99 out of 100 times I've used that line it is an excuse. I feel bad now.

[frozengirl]

Well today's date happened and turned out really well. He showed me his place and I met his dad. He hugged me and held my hand when we watched TV and we also kissed for he first time. So he is still interested in me apparently.

[irc333]

I saw this woman on POF. Apparently she felt the need to update and date stamp her profile emphasizing how even though she's 39, travels for work during the weekdays, and is balancing time between friends and family on the weekends.

 

And she said, "Yes, even though my kids are over 18, they are still involved in my life."

 

She basically said she's looking for a guy with the same lack of time to devote in a relationship as HE is in order for this to work.

 

If you read this correctly, it's a total wash and will NOT work.

[frozengirl]

I saw this woman on POF. Apparently she felt the need to update and date stamp her profile emphasizing how even though she's 39, travels for work during the weekdays, and is balancing time between friends and family on the weekends.

 

And she said, "Yes, even though my kids are over 18, they are still involved in my life."

 

She basically said she's looking for a guy with the same lack of time to devote in a relationship as HE is in order for this to work.

 

If you read this correctly, it's a total wash and will NOT work.

 

Haha sure sounds confusing to me.

[frozengirl]

Well the guy I am seeing, has got a job somewhat, his dad is a director, writer, and producer, and he's been working on this new film, so he's helping his dad as an assistant director, then he says one of his friends is doing a project so he's also a co-director for that.

 

So him and I have not been talking much due to him being busy with these activities, so it makes me think will I ever see him again or is our dating days done?

 

We did only see each other for 1 date per week and this week doesn't look like it's happening. And he didn't talk to me for 4 days in a row due to being busy with these projects.

 

I am getting a bit worried. :/ I don't want to hear him tell me "I am busy to date right now" when he said he was looking for a relationship.

[Beautiful Kisses]

It's an excuse to blow you off for the moment until HE'S ready to talk to you. Guy did it to many times before . save yourself the frustration and move on!! Next time he text you ignore him, then text him back two days later.oh sorry I've been busy. See how he likes it.