Analyze This Date

[Supernatural]

Pre-Date Story

At the end of January I had sent an e-mail to a total stranger who is a female about being her new roommate. In the posting she wrote she had stated she just ended things with her boyfriend and he was moving out - this is why she needed a roommate.

 

The rent was too much for me, and I was exhausted of sending typical emails and the place was extraordinary.

I figured "why not send a funny e-mail? I'm really bored."

So in this e-mail I joked around quite a bit and said some pretty funny things. I really did have a blast writing it. I didn't get the room or even a meeting with her.

2 weeks later I get an e-mail back saying that my e-mail was "Legendary" and she thoroughly enjoyed reading it and I made her laugh really hard for the first time in a long while.

We chat a bit more and have good, short conversations. All light and fun with a touch of deeper outlook/positiveness.

I eventually give her my number and say we should hangout. I never heard from her after that.

 

8 months later - (last Thursday)

I get a text from a random number wishing me a Happy Thursday. She reveals it is her early on and we text further. After about 7 texts, I give her a call as I get off work. We talk over the phone; I propose a date for Sunday (today), she accepts.

 

Date Day - Tonight

She cabs over to my place, rings me when she is out front. I come down and see her. This is the first time I have laid eyes on her. I'm attracted. (This was a blind date for me) - she Googled me and saw 5 different photos of me prior to the date...

 

We go to a restaurant on the seawall and have a later lunch/dinner and 3 beers each. We connected and conversation flowed well. On the date she mentions she has been going a little crazy lately with partying and having fun. She went to Vegas last weekend for 3 days, went out last night, had a bunch of people over a little while ago, etc...

 

Near the end of the date I suggest we go to a movie. She accepts. I purchase tickets in advance on my phone for both of us.

When the bill came the waiter asked if we wanted it split. The guy asked like 3 different times like he knew we were on a first date, it kind of annoyed me. She quickly looks at him and says "yes". I didn't even get an opportunity to foot the bill which is odd because I have never had a woman jump on a bill or agree to splitting. I wanted to pay the whole bill.

 

We get to the theater and I have to run to the bathroom. I come back and she is buying some popcorn and a drink. I look at the candies and grab some Maltesers and a bottle of water. She grabs my things and says she'll pay for them because I got the movie.

We enter the movie and it's pretty good and really entertaining. We saw "The Equalizer" I recommend.

 

We leave the theater and we walk across the street and she stops outside of a taxi. We hug and embrace for a pretty solid hug. No kiss or attempt. During the date she did touch me about 5 times and even in the movie she curled her head into my shoulder when she was grossed out; all cute like girls do.

 

She hasn't yet texted me yet for a follow up saying she had a good time and we never set up a second date on the date? She leaves for India for 2 weeks in a week.

 

Questions

Why did she wait 8 months to text me?

What exactly was this?

Do you think she is interested?

 

 

She is 32. I'm 25 - turning 26 in 1 month.

Edited September 29, 2014 by Supernatural

[mightycpa]

1) She waited 8 months, because that's how long it took her to use up the rebound guy. C'mon, you've read all about breakups. You know what goes on.

 

2) It sounds like a pretty regular date with a girl who doesn't have money problems.

 

3) Clearly she was interested. The only question now is whether or not she remains interested. Sounds like she likes you well enough. Realize at her age, she's probably not going to act like a teenager would; she'll be a little more reserved. Count your blessings.

 

For my money, try to see her once more before she goes. Wish her a good time on the trip, and for God's sake, tell her not to text you until she returns. You've also read what happens when people text each other too much during trips. Help her to enjoy the trip without worrying about you. You'll still be there when she gets back.

 

One last thing. Girls reach perfection at 27. That said, you're probably in for a hell of a ride if you can catch this one for a while.

[Supernatural]

1) She waited 8 months, because that's how long it took her to use up the rebound guy. C'mon, you've read all about breakups. You know what goes on.

 

2) It sounds like a pretty regular date with a girl who doesn't have money problems.

 

3) Clearly she was interested. The only question now is whether or not she remains interested. Sounds like she likes you well enough. Realize at her age, she's probably not going to act like a teenager would; she'll be a little more reserved. Count your blessings.

 

For my money, try to see her once more before she goes. Wish her a good time on the trip, and for God's sake, tell her not to text you until she returns. You've also read what happens when people text each other too much during trips. Help her to enjoy the trip without worrying about you. You'll still be there when she gets back.

 

One last thing. Girls reach perfection at 27. That said, you're probably in for a hell of a ride if you can catch this one for a while.

 

What do you mean to count my blessings?

 

Should I call her in two days or tomorrow; suggest a bike ride or something super casual for Thursday?

 

A hell of a ride?

 

Which age do men reach perfection at?

 

So many questions. Haha Thanks.

[evanescentworld]

Which age do men reach perfection at?

 

Oh boy.... How to answer this without shattering your illusions....

 

You don't get it.

Any age, any situation, and you can be the perfect Guy.

You just have to drop the pretences.

 

Sadly, an awful lot of men, never do.

[Supernatural]

Oh boy.... How to answer this without shattering your illusions....

 

You don't get it.

Any age, any situation, and you can be the perfect Guy.

You just have to drop the pretences.

 

Sadly, an awful lot of men, never do.

 

Noted and I do understand what you're saying.

 

Let's keep this about the date though, before it goes off track to a different thread.

[evanescentworld]

What I said sums up what you need to think about, and do about the date.

It's all there, and if you can't see it, then you haven't reached "perfection" yet.

 

[heartshaped]

Questions

Why did she wait 8 months to text me?

 

I'm guessing the eight months had something to do with her just getting out of what I would assume was a long term serious relationship (judging by the fact they lived together).

 

That or she simply wasn't interested enough to go out with you then, but later you crossed her mind and she decided to follow up on things.

 

Third option is she already had someone else lined up when the two of you were talking, but I find that highly unlikely if her relationship with her boyfriend had only recently ended.

 

Based upon the events of the date and it being a first date, it's hard to judge whether she's still interested, but I would say she definitely was when she texted you.

 

I'd just follow up with a phone call and ask her out for a second date. Definitely want to get that in before she goes away and I would also limit contact while she's away maybe even go as far as to say, "Call me when you get back."

[Assasda]

She called you to go out with you because she wants something real.

 

Let me tell you something about people that party, and brag that they know all these people and have all these friends:

They have no friends.

They only have party buddies and, people that they know for certain occasions.

 

It was a date.

I just recently saw the equalizer too. I think it was pretty funny, really campy kinda action movie.

 

I think she's interested.

Wait a few days to hangout with her. You may have to break through her hard outter partying shell, but you break through that, by being as genuine as possible

[Toodaloo]

Questions

Why did she wait 8 months to text me?

What exactly was this?

Do you think she is interested?

.

 

a. because she was getting over her ex and kept your number because you seemed nice - obviously nice enough to still remember after 8 months

b. a nice date

c. yes - call her.

 

The comments from Assasda about party animals having no friends is oh so true.

 

The "perfect" guy really isn't so perfect. He is just the guy that makes the girl feel safe, secure, loved and empowered... You can do this by listening, touching, standing back a bit and allowing her to lead and by just being there. Oh and take your dirty dishes to the sink The perfect guy still farts, belches, sometimes is smelly, sometimes swears... the perfect guy is still human. Stop trying to figure it all out and just be yourself.

[quidproquo89]

a. because she was getting over her ex and kept your number because you seemed nice - obviously nice enough to still remember after 8 months

b. a nice date

c. yes - call her.

 

The comments from Assasda about party animals having no friends is oh so true.

 

The "perfect" guy really isn't so perfect. He is just the guy that makes the girl feel safe, secure, loved and empowered... You can do this by listening, touching, standing back a bit and allowing her to lead and by just being there. Oh and take your dirty dishes to the sink The perfect guy still farts, belches, sometimes is smelly, sometimes swears... the perfect guy is still human. Stop trying to figure it all out and just be yourself.[/QUOTE]

 

love it!

[evanescentworld]

...

The "perfect" guy really isn't so perfect. He is just the guy that makes the girl feel safe, secure, loved and empowered... You can do this by listening, touching, standing back a bit and allowing her to lead and by just being there. Oh and take your dirty dishes to the sink The perfect guy still farts, belches, sometimes is smelly, sometimes swears... the perfect guy is still human. Stop trying to figure it all out and just be yourself.

 

My point exactly, if not expressed far more eloquently....

 

....

Any age, any situation, and you can be the perfect Guy.

You just have to drop the pretences.

[Supernatural]

Cool.

 

Well. When should I call her? Tonight or tomorrow?

[MissBee]

It seemed like a nice date.

 

The only thing I would say is that for me if I offer to split the bill it's most likely because I'm trying to send a clear signal we're just friends. However, not everyone is that way so I wouldn't assume.

 

It seemed like you all had a nice time so I'd call her and follow up about a second date and see what happens. Personally, if I was interested I'd want you to follow up too instead of waiting for me to follow up and I would have hoped you'd ask me for a second date before the first one ended. But there is no magic time frame, sooner the better, call her up!

 

That's the only way you'll know what's what.

[Supernatural]

It seemed like a nice date.

 

The only thing I would say is that for me if I offer to split the bill it's most likely because I'm trying to send a clear signal we're just friends. However, not everyone is that way so I wouldn't assume.

 

It seemed like you all had a nice time so I'd call her and follow up about a second date and see what happens. Personally, if I was interested I'd want you to follow up too instead of waiting for me to follow up and I would have hoped you'd ask me for a second date before the first one ended. But there is no magic time frame, sooner the better, call her up!

 

That's the only way you'll know what's what.

 

It was nice.

 

When she said said "split" to the waiter, I got the sense it was a friend 'outing'. And when she paid for my snacks at the theater, I thought that was a "let's make this even. This isn't a date" move.

Because a woman on a date doesn't want to pay for anything.

 

But then again... She touched me a bunch, put her head in to me during the movie. embraced more than a friend would, during the hug. And she texted me after 8 months? Which is a strange move either way, but more-so falls towards possible sexy time/date move.

 

She's a dominant woman type. Haven't had this before. So maybe I should let her take the lead on this...

 

Maybe I'll wait for her to get in touch with me to see what her angle is - if this was a date or just friends. And I'll just assume it was just friends until otherwise known.

If I don't hear from her before the weekend, then I know it's friends. If I hear from her by tomorrow night... It's more romantic. And if I don't hear from her by Saturday.. I'll wish her well for her trip to India.

 

Solid plan, I think.

Edited September 29, 2014 by Supernatural

[Supernatural]

Well, gave her a call. She didn't pick up or return call/text today.

 

Unbelievable. Every woman does this to me. It's literally the same thing every time. All 1st dates go well. Laughing, some touching, maybe even a kiss -- no hiccups or anything, and then gone like the wind, without a trace.

 

I can't stand this anymore. Makes me feel really unattractive and ugly.

 

How many blows can a persons confidence take before one loses it altogether?

[Jules Dash]

Well, gave her a call. She didn't pick up or return call/text today.

 

Unbelievable. Every woman does this to me. It's literally the same thing every time. All 1st dates go well. Laughing, some touching, maybe even a kiss -- no hiccups or anything, and then gone like the wind, without a trace.

 

I can't stand this anymore. Makes me feel really unattractive and ugly.

 

How many blows can a persons confidence take before one loses it altogether?

 

 

Don't jump the gun, my friend. Just because she didn't pick up or return your call is still ambiguous. It can go either way but I would suggest fanning the flames of attraction a bit prior to her leaving. Give her something to look forward to when she returns from her trip.

 

I think it is very encouraging that she was touching you and laying her head on you. I would have went with this but it is all water under the bridge now. The aggressively wanting to pay for the bill is curious but, again, does not count you out. You still have a chance here but I would start establishing this as a nonfriendly thing. I think you really could have successfully kissed her at the end of the date. I usually don't do this myself on the first meet unless the vibe is really good and it seem like you have this.

 

I thought the Equalizer was really bad but my date liked it. She could not believe that I wanted to walk out on it.

[xXMarlboro_ManXx]

Well, gave her a call. She didn't pick up or return call/text today.

 

Unbelievable. Every woman does this to me. It's literally the same thing every time. All 1st dates go well. Laughing, some touching, maybe even a kiss -- no hiccups or anything, and then gone like the wind, without a trace.

 

I can't stand this anymore. Makes me feel really unattractive and ugly.

 

How many blows can a persons confidence take before one loses it altogether?

 

Keep your head up, I know it is demoralizing but it is all just a part of the process. After going on good dates and setting up 2nd ones just to be cancelled on I've learned to not think about it too much. Go with the flow and if it leads to something great then awesome, if it doesn't there is always the next one.