girlfriend problem, not sure what I can do

[CluelessAboutLove]

Hello guys, it's my first time posting a new thread, so please do forgive me if I broke the rules or anything, also if I write too long, or in the wrong section. I'm not a professional writer, but here goes.

 

I am a person just like my username suggests, I am clueless about love.

 

Recently, I just fought with my girlfriend over text messaging, and it really gets me off. So, what happened was that she was texting me about a part time data entry job on facebook and asked me whether I was interested in it. She also typed and said "OMG you know I dreamt A damn long dream" and I replied "Yes I am interested, In both the job and your dream haha" from here, the conversation was about whether she was going to apply for the data entry job, and how I was going to apply for it.

 

A few hours later, I asked her whether she wanted to come for my baby cousin's 1st birthday party, and her replies where very rude and provoking, so I knew that she was angry, most likely at me, so I asked " Are you okay? Why are you so pissed?". Then the reply I got from her caught me by surprise, "You obviously don't care about my dream, Then you act like you care" At this point, I was running an errand for her (Such bad timing). I was getting her a pot from cash converters and it was closing, so I told her I will take pictures of the pot and then you tell me which one you want ASAP. Well, I settled the pot issue and then we pretended that the dream conversation did not happen again.

 

After that, I went home, did physiotherapy(a type of massage and/or light exercise for injuries) took my medication bathed and then rang her up. At this point of time, I was super tired, because I was sick, worked on my internet business and ran errands for her and my parents the entire day, did light exercises and took medication that would made me drowsy.(I didn't think I'll be this tired at that point of time). So I tried my best and kept asking her about her day. How was her trip out today? What did she have for dinner? Did she manage to read the book that she wanted today? What did she do today? etc etc... All her answers were either "nothing much, no.... , yes.... ," very short and irritating answers.

 

In the end, I was pretty pissed off and told her " good to know that you did do some of the things that you wanted to do today, so I'll be going to sleep now, I had a very tiring day today." And I agree, it was my fault that I didn't ask her about her dream!!!!

 

After I put down the phone, I remembered that all this fighting is because of that stupid dream!!! God damned!! I picked up my phone and wanted to ask her about her dream, however, I was too late, she managed to type "You didn't even remember the dream that you said you care about" (I know that is slightly broken english, but I just want to type everything exactly the way it is) I then finished my sentence of "You wanna tell me about that dream?" she didn't reply me at all, however I could see that she was online(On Whatsapp, a phone application) so I decided to talk/persuade her to talk to me. I told her, things like , "If you want to tell me about the dream you can just tell me, Don't have to make things difficult for the both of us. I did say I was interested." But still no reply. So I said, "sometimes interest expires" She then said "So does love right" I got even more frustrated, I shall put the following the conversation form:

 

Me:don't be such a pessimist

she: passion and interest expires all the things that are needed in a relationship

me: interest for something not someone, passion for a skill not someone.

she: Both can be applied to someone

me: Not for me. so, you wanna tell me about that dream?

she:*no reply*

me: Well?

she: feelings expire

me: You don't have feelings for me anymore?(at this point I was pretty excited, because I kinda want to break up with her)

She: feeling to tell you

me: you don't have to mood to tell me is it?

she: Whatever you call it.

me: okay then, I hope we can just forget about this Alright?

She: Hurt feelings don't expire

me: That's a choice

She: you try to stop it then

me:stop?

she: you try to stop pain then.

me: it will go away.

she: oh really? tell me how long your shoulders have been hurting?( this really hurt me as I used to be a body builder, and I have had this shoulder injury for about a year already, not being able to go back to gym, currently doing physiotherapy for it) When your dad's hurtful words still hurts you even if it was said a long time ago.(from time to time my dad will call me a useless person who has no point existing in this world)

me: This has got nothing to do with my shoulders. and my dad's words don't hurt me anymore, it's a choice.

she: when someone's action hurts so much even the thought of it makes your heart clench uncomfortably.

me: ( I really wanted to say, It's just a F*** dream but...) What's done is done, it's already in the past, just forget about me not probing further to ask for your dream.

she: Try

me: ?

she: I said try

me: try? what does that mean?

she: try to forget

me: do you mean trying or are you telling me?

she:I said I'll try to forget

me: could you type everything our next time? It's really confusing

she: try

she: LOL kidding, I'll try to type out everything.

me: (at this point, I know that she is appeased and also things were taking a turn for the better, but this conversation lasted 1hour, and I was already not thinking straight tired as hell) alright, since you loled, means you smiled.

she:NO, I said no,(but then, she admits she is better by saying) Could you care more next time? it's very irritating and hurting.

me: forgive a sick man.

She: What else? A sick man cannot forget about his girlfriend.

me:which i did not

she: you did.

me: (alright, I did something very cowardly here) Irflgamangafaya, (this was what I really wanted to convey to her, but did not have the guts to say, it translated into " I really feel like going airplane mode and not give a f** about you already)

me: i did not forget about you.

she: What was that?( she probably thought it was me almost sleeping typing) Alright then, prove it, what is my fav(favourite) fish?

me: fav to eat or to see?

she:both

me: puffer/grouper

she: what is my fav chocolate and book?

me: kitkat because it is constant, Godiva sometimes because you say it is not constant. Harry potter series. Look, can we stop this? I'm really f**king tired. I worked the whole day and I feel(supposed to be fell but i typed it wrong) asleep at dinner while eating.

she: good night

me: ( I usually type out the whole thing, but I was pissed of and wanted to let her know so I typed) gn(which meant good night)

 

Following that, I slept for 12 hours straight,( thank the gods for holidays) and woke up to find that she had been online in what'sapp a few hours ago, (which means that she is awake i know because it is not the first time.) But she had not sent me a good morning text. I was slightly pissed, but then I knew that I was always the one giving in so it was no big deal. I did not give her a good morning text as usual because I was worried about my medication, as I've missed the timing to eat my medication for a few hours due to my long 12 hours of sleep. Following that, I received a call from a friend asking me to help him out with his urgent email and so I went straight and started typing. As I was already on my computer, I started doing my online business and forgot about the morning text. One by one people asked me to help them with things, vice versa, I lost track of time, and after taking three meals infront of my computer, bathing, doing physiotherapy, and taking medicine, here I am again, going to ring my girlfriend up again. But before I did, I noticed that I got alot of text messages and notifications from alot of people except her. So I was thinking whether I should give her a call like I always do and try to make things better. However, I was thinking that I've had a really enjoyable day working without her in my life and whether I should continue giving her the cold shoulder, which was not intentional. I feel like whenever I communicate with her, it always makes my life a little more negative. But then, I think that I might be being too mean to her by giving her the cold shoulder, so I went online and did some research on what I should do and stumbled upon this site. After reading abit of the posts, I was confident that the community here can help me with my problem and decided to join my voice out my problem. I took about 2-3 hours typing this post, so now my girlfriend is probably sleeping, so I won't be talking to her tonight already I guess.

 

well, that sums up my story so far? I wanted to give a background information at the top but I am really very tired to do it now, it's 3 am over here already. but basically we can be considered a long distance relationship couple, so we seldom meet, but can meet often if me make the effort to. I've been having thoughts of breaking up with her but everytime when it comes to the actual thing, I can't bring myself to do it once an for all, because I will always go back to her or feel bad/ heart broken when I see her cry. I'm always the one giving in, everyone I talk too(I don't talk to alot of people) says that she is not good for me. Also we've been together for 2 years, studying in the same class. She is also my first. I feel that I am in a destructive relationship but I know that she will not be able to take the emotional hurt of a breakup

 

Thank you guys tremendously if you actually read finish this to the end, it's really very long I feel. Feel free to ask any questions regarding my relationship so that you can have a clearer picture of what our relationship is like so that you can come up with a better suggestion.

 

PS: I am not clear about the difference between feeling bad for someone and feeling heartbreak for a person. I also don't know whether I am feeling true love for her. I will be nice if someone sheds light on this also, thank you!

 

(wow it took me so long to write this that I actually got logged out from the community. I was very worried that I would lose all that I typed! thank god that it did not happen)

[ExpatInItaly]

To be honest, I didn't read the entire post. I read as far as your What's App conversation, and didn't feel the need to read further.

 

She is immature and a ridiculous drama queen. How old is she?? She's testing you and completely over-blowing this silly dream issue. It's not about the dream - it's 100% about her need for validation and power. She's trying to see how far she can push you. Don't let her manipulate you. I wouldn't be thinking long-term with this girl at all. She sounds exhausting and is showing you she will take any petty situation and somehow blow it up to make you look like a bad guy. You're not. I'd give her her walking papers, OP. Such utter nonsense.

[CluelessAboutLove]

I didn't even think anyone would even read, much less reply, Thanks alot for posting a reply, really made me feel better.

 

She is 20, I am 18.

 

Do you have any advice on how do I make a clean break with her? because I've tried it before and then she will keep coming to find me, telling me that she is downstairs, and wants to meet and everything.

 

I know that it hurts her alot, but how can I make the break such that the hurt is minimal?

[GemmaUK]

Being dumped will always hurt.

 

She sounds like a nightmare.

 

Just tell her this is all over and that you don't want to hear from her again.

 

If she comes back don't give in.

[darkmoon]

perhaps we can both spot a spoiled brat on close inspection

 

block her number = clean break

Edited September 28, 2014 by darkmoon

[CluelessAboutLove]

Hello guys, just want to update that me and her, we've come to a mutual agreement that we should have a temporary break until school reopens, then we'll see how it goes. Ther is only half a year to go before we both graduate from school, and I'm thinking that I should have the break there and then, because it will be awkward for us to be in the same class and have such a past together. Our class only consists of 18 people, so yeah, it's pretty small I would say