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Can anyone decipher this behavior?


tripped

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I'll try to boil this down to the basics. Been dating a girl for 2 months, long distance. We met while she was visiting some friends that live in my town, and immediately hit it off and began talking all day every day since. About a month in, she decided to move here (she had been planning to for about a year anyway). She was offered a promotion to stay, but she turned it down, saying she would be happier here. However, about 2 weeks ago she visited and found the place she is going to move into, and everything changed slightly. She spent the final few days of that trip acting very distant. I thought it was just me, but it has generally continued. But it's inconsistent, and odd, particularly when it comes to texting. At lot of times she will text me something random (as if to spark conversation, something she would always do and lead to us talking for hours), I will respond, but then she will not say anything for hours. I will text her something different, and she will respond to that in seconds, saying that she has just been hanging out not doing anything. If we ever do get into a conversation, it will go great until I start saying anything flirty, and she will then seemingly get busy or something and change the subject. She claims that she isn't stressed about the move, but also complains about packing. Thoughts? Should I just chalk this up to pre-move weirdness, or should I bring it up? We are not technically in a relationship, but I asked her recently if that was her intentions and she said we were on the same page.

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Wait until she moves and see what happens. In the mean time, date some other women. You are not in a relationship, so relax until you are.

 

One strange thing about women is the more you care about the relationship, the less they seem to. So chill out. Relax. Have a beer. You'll know whats what in time.

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One strange thing about women is the more you care about the relationship, the less they seem to. So chill out. Relax. Have a beer. You'll know whats what in time.

Golden Advice.

 

I would rather have a woman yell at me to get off the couch than have her not respond to my texts

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I'll try to boil this down to the basics. Been dating a girl for 2 months, long distance. We met while she was visiting some friends that live in my town, and immediately hit it off and began talking all day every day since. About a month in, she decided to move here (she had been planning to for about a year anyway). She was offered a promotion to stay, but she turned it down, saying she would be happier here. However, about 2 weeks ago she visited and found the place she is going to move into, and everything changed slightly. She spent the final few days of that trip acting very distant. I thought it was just me, but it has generally continued. But it's inconsistent, and odd, particularly when it comes to texting. At lot of times she will text me something random (as if to spark conversation, something she would always do and lead to us talking for hours), I will respond, but then she will not say anything for hours. I will text her something different, and she will respond to that in seconds, saying that she has just been hanging out not doing anything. If we ever do get into a conversation, it will go great until I start saying anything flirty, and she will then seemingly get busy or something and change the subject. She claims that she isn't stressed about the move, but also complains about packing. Thoughts? Should I just chalk this up to pre-move weirdness, or should I bring it up? We are not technically in a relationship, but I asked her recently if that was her intentions and she said we were on the same page.

 

I may be wrong here, but from my experience moving house and leaving all you know behind you is a extremely stressful and frankly terrifying business. It could well be that! If I'm right, she could feel a lot of emotions that counter the fun she was having getting to know you.

 

I'd chill for a bit and let her settle into her new environment. Just let her know your interested and you are there for her. If and when she is ready, she will come to you :).

 

Or perhaps just give her some breathing space and just check in occasionally like in a couple of weeks or something?

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I may be wrong here, but from my experience moving house and leaving all you know behind you is a extremely stressful and frankly terrifying business. It could well be that! If I'm right, she could feel a lot of emotions that counter the fun she was having getting to know you.

 

I'd chill for a bit and let her settle into her new environment. Just let her know your interested and you are there for her. If and when she is ready, she will come to you :).

 

Or perhaps just give her some breathing space and just check in occasionally like in a couple of weeks or something?

 

 

I agree ...this is something likely very stressful and distracting on her right now. There likely are other stresses on her from her job she will be leaving that is just adding to everything else.

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You've posted three threads on the same subject, the other two got replies also.

 

Texting more often initially is one of those things but when one person has things on their plate as she now does it's bound to lessen.

 

Are you expecting all day long text tennis every day?

 

Just another thing to mention is that she is perfectly entitled to just 'do nothing' sometimes. Her free time is not automatically yours by default.

I'm wondering whether you are swamping her with texts and quick replies and she is feeling pressured by it all.

If that is the case then she is probably losing interest.

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I'll try to boil this down to the basics. Been dating a girl for 2 months, long distance. We met while she was visiting some friends that live in my town, and immediately hit it off and began talking all day every day since. About a month in, she decided to move here (she had been planning to for about a year anyway). She was offered a promotion to stay, but she turned it down, saying she would be happier here. However, about 2 weeks ago she visited and found the place she is going to move into, and everything changed slightly. She spent the final few days of that trip acting very distant. I thought it was just me, but it has generally continued. But it's inconsistent, and odd, particularly when it comes to texting. At lot of times she will text me something random (as if to spark conversation, something she would always do and lead to us talking for hours), I will respond, but then she will not say anything for hours. I will text her something different, and she will respond to that in seconds, saying that she has just been hanging out not doing anything. If we ever do get into a conversation, it will go great until I start saying anything flirty, and she will then seemingly get busy or something and change the subject. She claims that she isn't stressed about the move, but also complains about packing. Thoughts? Should I just chalk this up to pre-move weirdness, or should I bring it up? We are not technically in a relationship, but I asked her recently if that was her intentions and she said we were on the same page.

 

IMHO, she is talking to someone else she is also interested in. Trust me, if she was into you, she'd chat you up all day. The fact she isn't tells me that she is balancing out her options and you are in the mix but most likely no longer her first choice.

 

Plus...you need to make HER reach out to you and keep the chat/text on the back burner. If you're there at her every whim or call, she'll lose interest fast. You need to be something she wants to chase after, not a puppy that comes every time she calls....

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