VedderisBetter Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I am talking to this girl on a dating website who met a guy from the same site and she got pregnant by him. Needlessness to say, he fled the scene and is not in the picture. She called him a piece of #$%. Anyways, she seems like a nice girl and is cute based on her pics. Should I consider dating this girl? She is six month's pregnant. The way I see it is that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. While this situation may not be an ideal one to get into, I feel kind of bad for this girl because the other guy screwed her over. I also wouldn't mind getting to know her and trying not to pre-judge her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Hmm. I guess it depends what you are looking for and what your deal breakers are. Seems you are fine on dating a pregnant girl and are fine that she got knocked up with an online fling and fine you are skipping the foot loose fancy free days with her, so really that's what counts from your perspective and not what we say. We aren't going to be the ones dating her, so if you are fine with her circumstances then go for it, just don't put your name down on the birth certificate. Don't expect to have a outgoing social life as a couple or raunchy sex on tap love life post 6 mths either. I wouldn't let your feelings over being sorry for her though overly decide this. She played a very big part in her current circumstances + girls so don't chose to date guys on OLD because they are going to through tough times and they feel sorry for them. You can give it a shot if you really fancy her...its not like you have obligations to stick around if it doesn't work. Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I think it's fine to be friends, but imminently she won't even have time to date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 The only thing I'm going to say about that is make sure she gets tested for stds before you have sex with her. It's pretty clear she is fine sleeping with random guys without using protection. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mike B. Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 The only thing I'm going to say about that is make sure she gets tested for stds before you have sex with her. It's pretty clear she is fine sleeping with random guys without using protection. How did you get all of that from his post? He provided no details of the girl's relationship with the father. They could have dated for 2 years and lived together. I wouldn't jump to conclusions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I wouldn't do it... and honestly you have no idea what her relationship is with the father.. The only thing that is there would be a friendship and nothing more.. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mike B. Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I think it's fine to be friends, but imminently she won't even have time to date. This is an important point. There won't be much time for bonding in 3 months, especially since you are not the father of the child. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I did not date her... Just we had shared moments as FWB. Being pregnant, she had feelings for the father. Also was expecting them to be together. So she put distance in feeling close to me. Outside of her being round in the belly, sex was good, just had to get use to some limitations. If the father is out of the woman's life, it is possible to have a meaningful relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 How did you get all of that from his post? He provided no details of the girl's relationship with the father. They could have dated for 2 years and lived together. I wouldn't jump to conclusions. I may be 'jumping to conclusions' but there isn't a lot of information here that would lead me to believe the girl was in a serious long-term relationship with the father of the child. I know there are *******s out there, but seriously how often do you see a couple of two years who live together and the guy flees after getting the girl pregnant? Besides - she did have unprotected sex with the father of this child and so she should get tested. Edit: also, if she was in a long term relationship with a man who fled after he got her pregnant, I'm guessing she would be an emotional wreck right now and probably not on a dating site. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Dude, no. That's playing with fire. Think about it. What's your end game here? You want to be there in 3 months when she pops the baby? You want to try to help her "father" the child? Do you think she'll even have any free time? How about all those hormones/stress/etc.? How are you going to deal with those headaches? Hell, she might even ask you to financially contribute to the wellfare of her child (diapers/formula/etc.). I can go on, and on, and on, and on... But I'm sure you get the picture. TRUST ME, there wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more fish in the sea. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I know there are *******s out there, but seriously how often do you see a couple of two years who live together and the guy flees after getting the girl pregnant? Have you actually read these forums? Very often... The way I see it is that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. While this situation may not be an ideal one to get into, I feel kind of bad for this girl That is not a good reason to date someone. Link to post Share on other sites
moie Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Pro and cons Cons: people u know will think you knocked her up and u have to explain to everyone. Pro: if rumor gets Around u might become really popular with other girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) Have you actually read these forums? Very often... I really don't think this forum is representative of the majority (thankfully). I haven't seen that many forums from women who get dumped by their long time boyfriend after getting pregnant...sure there are a few but not many. So no, it doesn't happen 'very' often Edited September 23, 2014 by Maleficent Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) What's she planning to do with the baby? Edited September 29, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited to remove rude comment. Link to post Share on other sites
Trane Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 For me it would be a matter of her wanting a replacement dad when the child is born, which would never, ever happen in my book. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
slizl Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Well, at least you can't get her pregnant! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 And then a white knight walked in... and took care of someone else's mistake/responsibility and regretted it for the next 18 years. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Well, at least you can't get her pregnant! But he can find himself paying CS for a kid that isn't his i.e. the chick can double dip as long as she can prove that OP stood in place of a parent. Not fun when you have to pay for what is not yours...go ask the countless men out there who have found themselves in this situation with more than one kid to pay for Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Depending on where you live, the court could hold you liable for CS even if youre not the father. Stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 ^ So pretty much what I said above then??? Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 But he can find himself paying CS for a kid that isn't his i.e. the chick can double dip as long as she can prove that OP stood in place of a parent. Not fun when you have to pay for what is not yours...go ask the countless men out there who have found themselves in this situation with more than one kid to pay for How does that work actually? I can't seem to grasp the concept. Out of curiosity (I REALLY AM AGAINST OP'S IDEA, BTW), how would one go about claiming child support from a man who isn't the child's father? What kind of court would allow that? Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 I would stay far away. This is only my opinion, but I would find a woman who is only a few short weeks away from becoming a mother sitting on a dating site trying to find men incredibly off-putting. I feel that focusing on herself, her situation and preparing to become the best possible mother to her child is what she should be doing. Perhaps this is old fashioned, but I just don't feel that sitting on an internet dating site, bitching to random men about your ex (or guy that knocked you up) is part of that. Finding a new guy and trying to juggle that as well as a newborn isn't wise I don't think. The fact that she is spilling her problems to you and paying out the father of the child is also quite uncouth to say the least. There is a chance that she is looking for someone to support her and the child. Overall, I doubt she is in a good place mentally to be dating...whether casual or serious. I'd steer clear. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 I am talking to this girl on a dating website who met a guy from the same site and she got pregnant by him. Needlessness to say, he fled the scene and is not in the picture. She called him a piece of #$%. Anyways, she seems like a nice girl and is cute based on her pics. Should I consider dating this girl? She is six month's pregnant. The way I see it is that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. While this situation may not be an ideal one to get into, I feel kind of bad for this girl because the other guy screwed her over. I also wouldn't mind getting to know her and trying not to pre-judge her. Dating isn't a charity. You don't simply date someone because you feel bad and want to do them a favor. Dating is about finding someone who suits you and your lifestyle and what you want. Is a pregnant woman it? What are you hoping for with her? A longterm relationship? Casual? Are you prepared to step in as co-parent? Do you plan to be at the labor and delivery? All those things are valid things you should consider in this case and not just "I want to know her and I feel bad." You don't need to see someone as a bad person to decide dating them is not for you. As a pregnant woman I WOULD NOT be on a dating site looking for dates. For me this is absurd. Especially if I just got pregnant and bailed on by a man from the SAME site...call me stupid, but I'd be more focused on myself and my future baby and I'd wait to date until after my child was born rather than hop back online while 6 months pregnant...that is so bizarre and makes me question her priorities. Likewise if a man told me he currently has a woman who is 6 months pregnant for him, I would not see him as a suitable partner for me and what I want. I want a man completely free and single not one who is having a baby with someone else and will no doubt need to be by her side, support her at times, and the rest...it's completely awkward and I'd think his priorities were out of whack if he is looking to date right now given the situation. But esp for a woman who is the one physically pregnant I can't understand it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 What's she planning to do with the baby? Why didn't she get an abortion? That isn't the answer for everyone. Maybe she wants the baby, and dared to think she could still be loved by a man. And then a white knight walked in... and took care of someone else's mistake/responsibility and regretted it for the next 18 years. Or: the child grows up with a wonderful stepfather, who doesn't regret getting involved with his mother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 That isn't the answer for everyone. Maybe she wants the baby, and dared to think she could still be loved by a man. Or: the child grows up with a wonderful stepfather, who doesn't regret getting involved with his mother. ...And rainbow kisses and unicorn hugs. This looks like the script of a bad chick flick. So there are two options A) she got pregnant by her long-time boyfriend and he split as soon as he found out. She is heartbroken and emotionnaly distressed because, well, she's 3 months away from giving birth and she is alone. She is most likely not in an emotionnal state to date. B) She met some guy online 6 months ago, got pregnant and is now looking for mister next. Kuddos to her for deciding to keep the baby and I feel for all the single mothers out there but I don't see how this is a situation that can end well for OP. This girl should not be on a dating site at the moment Link to post Share on other sites
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