moie Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 My friend this girl asked this question about a guy she likes. I don't have the complete story but so far the guy always talks about how terrible he is, how he is untrustworthy and hated, but puts it in a clever sarcastic way. Any suggestion what his intentions are? Is he someone I should tell my friend to stay away from Link to post Share on other sites
yololin Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 He is crazy confident, and he can accept being an ass as girls will still dig him. Its also his get out of jail free card when he sleeps with a girl and them dumps them. The girl cant say she didnt expect it. I know a guy like that. He's a total cad. He has 3 girls on the go at once. When a guy really stops trying and can still get girls, the girls he gets he has no respect for. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I can be sarcastic and clever at times... so putting it into perspective, I think he may be hiding his feelings in sarcy ways. If he is insecure he may show it by making light of things he would not do as if he would do them. It is a variation to what I do just I am trying to show that most random flyby jokes have meaning. Everyone does it whether or not they notice. For example, I purposefully do change up jokes as a counter-diction to about who I am. So if the person really understands or knows me, they should pick it up and laugh. It is my way to find out if they are just around because I am funny or what not. Many take it negatively because they think that I am thinking of things that seem not so good. Like why can't they laugh about poking fun at what I am definitely not, and being completely random. After thinking about it... It think peeps are not so light hearted about things in general. Seem too serious to have a go at thinking past an issue and laughing about it. I remember my SM having such issues with me... She was a worrier, as being far and away, she had no way to be around for comfort when she was unsure. She likes knowing all details, so one must be straight up. Well getting tired of being so serious, I would do one of my pokes, that was obvious, but she would not pull away from the seriousness of her thoughts and feelings. Until we were able to get past her clinging on to her worries, she was able to lighten up and poke back at me as well. This was mostly because she felt I would have a change of heart from being an LDR and knowing things that could be unsettling in our relationship. I think he is being open with allowing her to see him in his moment of feeling content and happy, as to show nothing rattles him. As that is how I feel when I jest like that. Take it as the other side of seeing how peeps work in general. I normally don't go about telling peeps how to read me, so to me this is one of them things that may shed some light on peeps that are hard to read. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Yes, she needs to stay away. He's openly warning her that he's an ass. If she chooses to ignore that and stay...well, so is she. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I suspect he wants to seem cooler then he actually is so he says these things trying to paint himself as a bad boy. True bad boys don't tell you they are bad boys. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Gosh, since seeing all the negativity about sarcasm. I wonder how bad this sound to you all... Girl: I love that you are so caring, it is so nice to have you. Boy: Thanks, I will tell all in my harem that they have stiff competition. Now why did I say that... well Girl does not like complements, being appeased, and brings up harem to poke at me time to time. Girl: LOL I'll stick it up your arse! I guess it goes 50/50 on how women take such a poke. Probably from all the issues and troubles with the wrong man, donno... I hate to pick at how and why peeps think when being around them in general. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 People tell you about themselves up front. Believe them. Your friend needs to stay the hell away from this guy. He's untrustworthy.....RED FLAG. No matter how endearing he seems to be to her now, she's not the exception and she won't be the one to finally make him trustworthy. Listen to him, he's telling the truth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 It's about compatibility. If you are dating somebody who enjoys your sarcastic jokes, keep 'em coming. If they hurt the other person's feelings & undermine the relationship, tone it down. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Gosh, since seeing all the negativity about sarcasm. I wonder how bad this sound to you all... Girl: I love that you are so caring, it is so nice to have you. Boy: Thanks, I will tell all in my harem that they have stiff competition. Now why did I say that... well Girl does not like complements, being appeased, and brings up harem to poke at me time to time. Girl: LOL I'll stick it up your arse! I guess it goes 50/50 on how women take such a poke. Probably from all the issues and troubles with the wrong man, donno... I hate to pick at how and why peeps think when being around them in general. It's not about the sarcasm, it's about his traits. Your example is not blatantly indicating anything about your personality. This guy OP is talking about is saying he is untrustworthy, not cracking sarcastic jokes about his harem. Theres a difference between....... 1) Ive never been faithful and I'm untrustworthy (in a sarcastic tone) and 2) well then, I'll have my harem fan me with grape leaves and feed me chocolates if you deny my date invitation 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author moie Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 I see so most of the replies have been to stay away from this guy. Either he is telling the truth, which means bad, or he is lying which is also bad. Either way, this guy is bad news. Thank you for the input. However, sdrawkcaB ssA mentioned about how he is an insecure person, there might be so truth to that. I just briefly talked to him an hour ago. I will have to investigate more. If he is truly just an insecure guy, maybe I can relay that to my friend. Any suggestions on how I can find out more, what to say to the guy. Or should I ask my friend what she thinks? When girls hear that kind of stuff how do they react. My friend is kind of confused. You think if I tell her to stay away from this guy she will listen? or I need more proof? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I see so most of the replies have been to stay away from this guy. Either he is telling the truth, which means bad, or he is lying which is also bad. Either way, this guy is bad news. Thank you for the input. However, sdrawkcaB ssA mentioned about how he is an insecure person, there might be so truth to that. I just briefly talked to him an hour ago. I will have to investigate more. If he is truly just an insecure guy, maybe I can relay that to my friend. Any suggestions on how I can find out more, what to say to the guy. Or should I ask my friend what she thinks? When girls hear that kind of stuff how do they react. My friend is kind of confused. You think if I tell her to stay away from this guy she will listen? or I need more proof? Youth and inexperience makes us want to chase and try to change people thinking we're the exception. Depends on her maturity whether she pursues despite your warnings. Insecure or not, he's still telling you he's untrustworthy. Bad news. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 People tell you about themselves up front. Believe them. Your friend needs to stay the hell away from this guy. He's untrustworthy.....RED FLAG. No matter how endearing he seems to be to her now, she's not the exception and she won't be the one to finally make him trustworthy. Listen to him, he's telling the truth. Totally agree with you mammasita. It's like that Catherine Aird quote, "if you can't be a good example, then you just have to be a horrible warning." I met a guy through OLD who was honest about himself to the point where I was looking for the emergency exits already, at the coffee shop where we had met. He bragged out his past indiscretions with women, drug addiction and substance abuse, had two children from previous spouses (neither of whom would give him custody), was an unemployed IT contractor, lives with his mother b/c he is broke, and probably has god-knows how many STDS. Had I known any of that before meeting him in person, I wouldn't have met him. His OLD profile doesn't list any of these things at all. He came across as very endearing on his OLD profile which was a total lie of course once I met him in person, so this guy is proof that people can easily hide their red flags. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moie Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 Hahaha oh I am sorry writergal, but that guy was bad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I see so most of the replies have been to stay away from this guy. Either he is telling the truth, which means bad, or he is lying which is also bad. Either way, this guy is bad news. Thank you for the input. However, sdrawkcaB ssA mentioned about how he is an insecure person, there might be so truth to that. I just briefly talked to him an hour ago. I will have to investigate more. If he is truly just an insecure guy, maybe I can relay that to my friend. Any suggestions on how I can find out more, what to say to the guy. Or should I ask my friend what she thinks? When girls hear that kind of stuff how do they react. My friend is kind of confused. You think if I tell her to stay away from this guy she will listen? or I need more proof? Well I think you can cypher his character by his up bringing and his circle of friends. Not to point fingers why, but how he socializes with peers. Boyz can be ganstas if that is how he hangs. Not saying he is and such. Just the types of communication one us use to can effect judgment on meaning. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Hahaha oh I am sorry writergal, but that guy was bad. Hahaha yes he was! People like him have no business dating, OLD or in RL. You know? He must have thought sharing his red flags with me would endear me to him somehow, make me feel sorry for him. Quite the opposite. I wanted to flee as quickly as possible. So yeah, ALWAYS believe what someone tells you about himself/herself especially when they brag about things like I mentioned above. Run, run for the hills when that happens and do not look back, b/c guys like that will find another victim...I mean woman, to try and bamboozle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moie Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 Aaaaj it looks she wants to try to see how this goes. I told her everything you guys said. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Aaaaj it looks she wants to try to see how this goes. I told her everything you guys said. Insecure is as bad as all the other options. It means a lot of push-pull, lack of trust, drama. Stay away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Aaaaj it looks she wants to try to see how this goes. I told her everything you guys said. Wow really? She's in for a rude awakening then once she finds out he's true to his word (of being a bad guy). That is...unless your friend's the type of woman who likes to try to rescue men who are lost causes. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 You think if I tell her to stay away from this guy she will listen? or I need more proof? She won't listen. Not the first time. Some people learn from other people's mistakes! whereas some insist on making their own. If she's in the latter camp there's nothing you can do to help her this time, but if she finds out you were right she may well listen to your advice with the next bad guy she goes for. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Oh to be young and think we're invincible (yeah, yeah I did it too). Hopefully she doesn't become too invested in this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moie Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 Yes thank you everyone for the help. I will stand by my friend and hopefully help her out when things turn sour. I may be back for more help later on. Link to post Share on other sites
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