kellypinkyz Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 We met on a dating app. We hung out probably 3-4 times. We intimated. After that, we started to date. He's a carefree, unromantic person. He didn't hold my hand or kiss me when we were in public. He refused to say He loves me because it's too strong. I respect him so I don't forcing him to say that. But when I say I miss him, he doesn't say anything back But at home, he cuddled and stuffs. So things were great until I told him that I feel like he's not interested in me anymore. The reason I said that is because he doesn't txt me much, or try to get to know more about me... And the thing is... I don't know much about him just like he knows about me. So finally, we decided to be friends as he wanted because he will go to boot camp. He thinks it's hard for us to be in relationship with thought of how far we from each other. Also, he just feels that I need to get to know him more as a friend first because we dated too soon. I said ok. After that, we hung out a couple times. We don't txt much. I don't why :/ it feels kinda weird :/ I'm trying to get to know more about him. Just feel like he doesn't let me do it :/ sound like he just used me for sex cuz today he asked me would you be mad if somehow we end up have sex? I said no because we are not dating anymore Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) I would suspect the same thing. Good on you turning him down. Here's a tip, if you are not being treated the way you expect to be treated, then stop wasting your time and find someone who will treat you right. Ditch this guy, you can do better than him. Edited September 22, 2014 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WhatIsLove2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 How long have you known him? You seem kind of clingy and maybe yall moved way too fast. Only because of the I love yous and the I miss yous seem like it made him uncomfortable only because he wasn't into you in that way or you freaked him out. But obviously, now he would like to be sex buddies/fwb from the question he asked. Don't go for it. Drop him. He will probably only use you for sex. Don't be used. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 He sounds like the one thats the sane one in this Relationship. 3-4 hang outs and you want him to say that he loves you. you dont know the meaning of the word. You seem very, very needy OP. You probably have self esteem issues to work on. He's absolutely right to back off and be friends, because, he actually wants to start the relationship based on something - And if he was using you for sex, he wouldnt break it off with you in the first place. You are the one using sex to gain his love. IMO 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kellypinkyz Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 I don't ask him to say I love you yet because I'm not even ready to say those words to him. Me and him agreed that we moved way too fast that's why we are friends now Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I don't ask him to say I love you yet because I'm not even ready to say those words to him. Me and him agreed that we moved way too fast that's why we are friends now You said he 'refused' to say 'I love you' because it was too strong. That implies he felt it was expected of him. How did the whole 'love' discussion come about? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 We met on a dating app. We hung out probably 3-4 times. We intimated. After that, we started to date. He's a carefree, unromantic person. He didn't hold my hand or kiss me when we were in public. He refused to say He loves me because it's too strong. I respect him so I don't forcing him to say that. But when I say I miss him, he doesn't say anything back But at home, he cuddled and stuffs. So things were great until I told him that I feel like he's not interested in me anymore. The reason I said that is because he doesn't txt me much, or try to get to know more about me... And the thing is... I don't know much about him just like he knows about me. So finally, we decided to be friends as he wanted because he will go to boot camp. He thinks it's hard for us to be in relationship with thought of how far we from each other. Also, he just feels that I need to get to know him more as a friend first because we dated too soon. I said ok. After that, we hung out a couple times. We don't txt much. I don't why :/ it feels kinda weird :/ I'm trying to get to know more about him. Just feel like he doesn't let me do it :/ sound like he just used me for sex cuz today he asked me would you be mad if somehow we end up have sex? I said no because we are not dating anymore You've hung out a handful of times and already talking about love? How did that conversation get started? Also, I find it difficult to miss someone I barely know which is likely why he doesn't return the sentiment. At the risk of sounding blunt - and I don't mean to be unkind - you're expecting far too much and coming across as very needy. I don't think you were ever dating, exactly. Hooking up, maybe. But dating? Doesn't sound like it. That's why he isn't romantic with you and doesn't want to get to know you. This is a physical thing for him. That's clear by him asking you to at least have sex again. And good for you for saying no - stick to your decision. It appears you want a relationship when he's just after sex. In the future - slow down. Love shouldn't even be on the table so early after meeting someone. It scares people off. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 After 3-4 dates from a dating App love should not yet be in the equation. Your request for that level of a connection was out of place. Clearly you can't handle an LDR so it's fine not to date him However, please do not classify him as your friend. He's not. He's some guy you went on a couple of dates with. Nothing more. To try to keep a tenuous connection devalues the concept of real friendship. I'm not saying be mean or not to talk but understand that friendship grows over time. At best he's an acquaintance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kellypinkyz Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 You're right. I expected so much stuffs Honestly, I feel regret for intimated with him too soon. Anyways, we dated for a few weeks. I just said I miss him one time. And it was last friday. There were a few times, I joked with him. Everytime he hears the word "love", he always say stuffs like it's a strong word blah blah. So it made me think that he doesn't like to hear that word or even say it at all. Also, I thought the best way to get to know him is have conversations in real person. But it didn't work because he's too busy to watch the football games. And I tried to ask him through the text, but then I don't know why I can't do that :\ Link to post Share on other sites
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