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When a girl says "Have a good day!"

mrspaceman

By mrspaceman,
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mrspaceman

mrspaceman

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Long story short, this girl kept texting me and I only texted her back to set up a meeting, we were not really chatting.

 

We had an event planned and I told her if she does not go with me, that it would be no problem and that I would just go with another friend, which was no lie. I did not state who the friend was, or if they were male or female, I just said another friend.

 

She then quickly responded by saying "Oh okay, have a good day!" and cut the conversation short.

 

I was a bit confused and responded a little later saying "You too, have a good day!"

to which she responded right away with "Thanks!"

 

Maybe I am reading too much into this, but she obviously had some kind of emotional reaction.

 

Did I upset her so much that this actually means "Good bye you will never hear from me again"

 

Or did I make her a bit jealous and needs to regather herself?

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mrspaceman

mrspaceman

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I'd say your mistake was commenting that if she didn't go with you etc.

What did it achieve other than you now second guessing yourself

You could be right.

 

I am not really second guessing myself or what I said, I am just more confused by her response. I am just wondering if anybody else has received a response like that from somebody part way through a brief conversation. What did that mean?

 

Romantically or not, "Have a good day" could also mean "Have a nice life, good bye!"

 

It could also mean "Have a good day, we will talk later"

 

I guess I answered my own question. Yes I was maybe overthinking it.

 

How can I delete this thread?

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mightycpa

mightycpa

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I think you were underthinking it.

 

 

#1 We had an event planned

 

and

 

#2 I told her if she does not go with me, that it would be no problem

 

and

 

#3 I would just go with another friend

 

So you made plans, told her she was unnecessary to those plans and called her a "friend". Smooth!

 

I'm not really sure how this comes up in conversation unless she broached the idea of breaking your plans. So, you've left out some needed context.

 

So to me, it breaks down like this:

 

HER : Rupert, I don't think I can go on our date after all. I have to wash my hair.

YOU : If you don't go with me, no problem, I'll take another friend.

HER : Oh, okay, Have a good day!

 

This means she's delighted with the outcome, and how easy it was to bag out!

 

HER : Rupert, I might have to cancel our date, my physics exam is early the next morning, and I need to be rested for it.

YOU : If you don't go with me, no problem, I'll take another friend.

HER : Oh, okay, Have a good day!

 

This, of course, means DROP DEAD.

 

Anyway, context is everything.

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heartshaped

heartshaped

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We had an event planned and I told her if she does not go with me, that it would be no problem and that I would just go with another friend, which was no lie.

 

Lol. She's pissed.

 

It's like saying hey, you know those plans I made with you, well, if you don't want to it's no big deal because I have some other person [read woman] lined up to go in your place. And while I'm at it let me throw in the "friend" word because then this is all just as ambiguous as hell.

 

I don't see how at all that was necessary for you to say unless she was canceling on you. Even then a simple, "it's okay" or "it's no big deal" would be fine. No need to make mention of "friends" whose gender you conveniently leave out.

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Jules Dash

Jules Dash

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Whatever the context was, "Rupert" doesn't need to announce the other options he has if the woman decided not to go with him. You either make it easy for her to back out of the offer or you downplay the idea of her coming with you. Rupert, just keep it simple and set up the date. Leave your ambiguous friend sitting on the bench ready to substitute for your date out of the game.

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Jules Dash

Jules Dash

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Lol. She's pissed.

 

It's like saying hey, you know those plans I made with you, well, if you don't want to it's no big deal because I have some other person [read woman] lined up to go in your place. And while I'm at it let me throw in the "friend" word because then this is all just as ambiguous as hell.

 

I don't see how at all that was necessary for you to say unless she was canceling on you. Even then a simple, "it's okay" or "it's no big deal" would be fine. No need to make mention of "friends" whose gender you conveniently leave out.

 

 

Lol. You beat me to it.

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mightycpa

mightycpa

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Whatever the context was, "Rupert" doesn't need to announce the other options he has if the woman decided not to go with him. You either make it easy for her to back out of the offer or you downplay the idea of her coming with you. Rupert, just keep it simple and set up the date. Leave your ambiguous friend sitting on the bench ready to substitute for your date out of the game.

 

I beg to differ:

 

HER : Rupert, I don't really have a lot of time to talk, I'm at the airport about to board a flight. I don't think I can go on our date after all. My aunt died and I have to attend the funeral in Alaska. I know the tickets you got were expensive. Is there any way that you find someone else to take my place?

YOU : If you don't go with me, no problem, I'll take another friend.

HER : Oh, okay, Have a good day!

 

That said, I doubt very seriously it went down anything like that. :D

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Jules Dash

Jules Dash

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I beg to differ:

 

 

 

That said, I doubt very seriously it went down anything like that. :D

 

I understand it in the context of different scenarios you presented but Rupert only mentioned offering the date. His mind game, oops,excuse me; I meant to say "ambiguous friend" sitting on the bench was seemingly mentioned as a preemptive strike against a cancellation.

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mightycpa

mightycpa

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Posted (edited)
I understand it in the context of different scenarios you presented but Rupert only mentioned offering the date. His mind game, oops,excuse me; I meant to say "ambiguous friend" sitting on the bench was seemingly mentioned as a preemptive strike against a cancellation.

 

No. He said they had plans. Date made and accepted.

 

Well, having taken a second look, maybe I misunderstood "We had an event planned". Given the lack of context, who knows what that actually means?

Edited by mightycpa
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Versacehottie

Versacehottie

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Things get lost in context and without hearing the tone on both ends. It could be that you are misreading it and overthinking or that you are correct to an extent. I do think that telling her you could take another friend if she hadn't even answered is a bit rude. That's not how you extend an invitation. Also while everyone knows that everyone else has the right to and may be dating others until exclusive--flaunting it or even mentioning it will tend to cause an emotional reaction.

 

You could have meant truly to be easy, breezy or being a bit macho like it didn't really matter to you whether or not she said yes because you had someone else lined up---to which she responded in same easy, breezy manner but neither of you was being real. Just having guards up. OR it could mean exactly in black and white what the words are. Neither of you really bothered either way. But since you're on here asking, I don't think this is the one.

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mrspaceman

mrspaceman

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Alright I will give you a bit of context.

 

This girl that I was dating and I made travel plans that she originally instigated by inviting me to. We were both looking forward to this.

 

However things got a bit rocky between us and she became a bit distant, so obviously her interest level declined.

 

I figured the best thing to do for both of us was to create some space and I did not contact her.

 

She then recently contacted me, apologized for not contacting me in a while and asked how I was and then asked if I had everything prepared for the trip.

 

Part of me, did still want to go with her, so I told her it would be better to discuss in person, I figured this way I could get a better read if she still was interested or not as it is hard to tell from text messages. She said we could meet in a week after her exams on a certain date.

 

The other part of me was that the trip is off as too much time had passed between us meeting or communicating. Again, I thought it would be better to tell her in person after seeing her behavior.

 

She later again asked about the trip. I am not completely sure, but I think she was a bit worried that I may still think we are going. I did not want to put extra stress on her during her exams and I did want to downplay it to indicate that I would not be going and give her an out.

 

So I told her that I do not think it would be a good time for me at the moment as I have other things going on, again none of this is a lie.

 

She asked if I could get the money back, which I cannot. I told another friend of mine about the story as I was looking forward to this trip and she proposed going with me instead at a later date.

 

So I told her I cannot get the money back, I could exchange it and go with another friend at a later date.

 

To which she replied "Oh okay! Have a good day!"

 

I was not trying to upset her or make her jealous, I wanted to downplay it, but she kept asking me about the trip, so eventually I told her the reality and I guess it was my way of stating that she is still the most special to me, but I will not wait around forever for her as I have to live my life and I do have other options.

 

I think this can be interpreted in different ways as previously mentioned

 

She is either happy with the outcome and got the answer she was looking for and will not contact me again.

 

Or she is disappointed, jealous, hurt and reacted emotionally, so this could mean good bye or she may need to regather herself before contacting me again.

Edited by mrspaceman
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Art_Critic

Art_Critic

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It seems to me that you kinda shot yourself in the foot with her, you were the one that basically canceled and then told her the tickets were not refundable and then offered up to take another friend.

 

It seems like you showed her you were not interested in her and she was being indifferent.

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GemmaUK

GemmaUK

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Knowing what the rocky bit and why she lost some interest would also help.

 

But, from the elaboration:

 

Let's say she is talking to her best friend and she says:

 

'So, he planned this trip and I was keen to go and then 'rocky unknown part happened' and after that I 'didn't know what to think' .

 

The trip doesn't get cancelled but he stops contacting me so I'm in the dark about it. I know the trip cost him money so I get in touch to find out what is going on with it and he says he can't get the money back but that he has someone else lined up to take with him so it wasn't as if he wanted to go and go with me yet it was a trip for 'us' when it was all planned.

 

I lost a bit of interest when 'rocky unknown part happened' and as he already has someone else lined up I just get that he wasn't all that into me. No biggie! Next!'

 

...could be what happened from her side of things...

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Given the additional details her "have a good day" translates to "Whew. I'm off the hook because he can still go with somebody else & the money isn't wasted."

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