MapleWish Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 There's this guy i met a couple times but only started talking last night, he's a bit introverted which I love but he'd never talked about his personal life until last night. I took him out for a drink, I drank he didn't but he meets nearly all my qualities in a guy; doesn't drink heavily doesn't smoke doesn't have kids he's older than me (by 4 years) and he's perfect for me, EXCEPT he is very recently divorced. From the sounds of it he and this girl were together since he was like 22 and she wanted the divorce. So he's been struggling and told me last night he's not ready to date which I understand, I've dealt with plenty of recent breakups but how do you handle a recent divorce? I've only just started talking to him, so I DONT KNOW what level he's on with his ex ie talking, trying to get back together etc but from the sounds of it, she walked away from him. I don't wanna walk away just cause he's a divorcee but how do you pursue this kind of guy, I know you gotta be patient for one thing but anything else? He has no kids with her, I don't even think she's in the same state cause he's originally from Michigan Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 The fact he is divorced vs separated helps in terms of for me separated would be a non-starter. That said, depending on the timeline of events (has this all happened within 6 months or over a year or 2) he may need some time on his own. He already said he isn't ready to date so take that as the hint....don't try to date or pursue him. You can be friends of course but I would strongly suggest you look elsewhere for someone to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 After you get divorced you may lose your confidence and just not want to be in a relationship for a while. It has nothing to do with you OP Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 @OP...they say the average person needs at least 2yrs for the ink to dry, before they are ready to go out there again. People that indulge in rebounds, revenge etc are just trying to fill a void, whilst not there mentally Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 He's told you he's not ready and it takes different people different amounts of time to heal. He has to process this long marriage and its breakup and learn from it or he'll make the same mistakes in his next relationship. He's said he's not ready. That could mean he's not into you or just that he's not ready. I would tell him that once he feels ready to date, you'd love to hear from him, give him all your info and then leave him totally alone unless he asks for a date a few weeks or months from now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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