emoore2013 Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 (edited) I posted a thread a while back when I ran into this guy I have been eyeing at a party. I unofficially met him in a bathroom after he barged in. He introduced himself and asked me some personal questions and then I left. He said hi later on that night. I assume he was single at the time, but possibly having a casual fling with his now current girlfriend. Flash forward to last weekend and I am yet again at another party where he is as well. I was dancing with a few of my friends when he pulls me away slightly and makes some extremely forward comments to me on the dancefloor. I remember introducing myself again, and I think he remembered me subconsciously from our first encounter. I don't remember a whole lot from this entire convo but I do remember him also (rudely) oogling me for a while and then mentioning that he "was taken, but...". He then went into another room. I learned later that his girlfriend (who is a mutual friend as well) was at the same party that night. I'm really attracted to him so although he doesn't have the most gentlemanly approach, I'm flattered. Although, I think he's crossing the line with these type of blatant come-ons behind her back. What do you make of all of this? Edited September 19, 2014 by emoore2013 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I posted a thread a while back when I ran into this guy I have been eyeing at a party. I unofficially met him in a bathroom after he barged in. He introduced himself and asked me some personal questions and then I left. He said hi later on that night. I assume he was single at the time, but possibly having a casual fling with his now current girlfriend. Flash forward to last weekend and I am yet again at another party where he is as well. I was dancing with a few of my friends when he pulls me away slightly and makes some extremely forward comments to me on the dancefloor. I remember introducing myself again, and I think he remembered me subconsciously from our first encounter. I don't remember a whole lot from this entire convo but I do remember him also (rudely) oogling me for a while and then mentioning that he "was taken, but...". He then went into another room. I learned later that his girlfriend (who is a mutual friend as well) was at the same party that night. I'm really attracted to him so although he doesn't have the most gentlemanly approach, I'm flattered. Although, I think he's crossing the line with these type of blatant come-ons behind her back. What do you make of all of this? Let me ask you some questions back. Do you think he's crossing the line? Would you want this guy as your boyfriend? Are you just looking for a hook up with him and no emotional attachment? Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I'm really attracted to him so although he doesn't have the most gentlemanly approach, I'm flattered. So, you're flattered about someone who does not treat you like a gentleman should? Well, if you're looking for a hook-up with a jerk, I think you found one... 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 Yeah, I agree with the question: Would you want a guy who hits on another woman as he did you as your boyfriend/husband? Because that's who he is. And he's shown you from the immediate get-go. Don't ever overlook poor behavior because somebody is hot and/or you're very attracted to them. This gets people into hot water ALL the time, and yes, I've been foolish at times and speak from experience! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author emoore2013 Posted September 19, 2014 Author Share Posted September 19, 2014 I think the only reason I initially excused this misbehavior is because I'm attracted to him. We were both drunk and I really don't know him as a person, so my judgement was skewed. I was flattered at the time, and looking back, although I'm into him I know what he did wasn't right. His girlfriend was at the party which was in a rather small house too so who knows if she or anyone else saw. I'm not friends with her personally but we have a lot of friends in common. I think I have had my eye on this guy for a while, which is why I was somewhat enjoying his come-ons. Not saying I would get in a relationship with this guy, but it does makes me question his interest in and commitment to his gf. From what I could tell, he was not aggressive in this way to any other girls at the party. Surprisingly enough, word is he is almost always in a relationship and isn't into the hookup scene. Although his actions do say otherwise so I'm slightly confused. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I think the only reason I initially excused this misbehavior is because I'm attracted to him. We were both drunk and I really don't know him as a person, so my judgement was skewed. I was flattered at the time, and looking back, although I'm into him I know what he did wasn't right. His girlfriend was at the party which was in a rather small house too so who knows if she or anyone else saw. I'm not friends with her personally but we have a lot of friends in common. I think I have had my eye on this guy for a while, which is why I was somewhat enjoying his come-ons. Not saying I would get in a relationship with this guy, but it does makes me question his interest in and commitment to his gf. From what I could tell, he was not aggressive in this way to any other girls at the party. Surprisingly enough, word is he is almost always in a relationship and isn't into the hookup scene. Although his actions do say otherwise so I'm slightly confused. Yeah, sure. He just looks for hook-ups while he is in these relationships. Don't get involved. He seems creepy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 Rude. He's trolling. End of story. Move on. Never let looks or attraction trump character. He's a bad dude. Don't be flattered. Be annoyed. You are not some cheap hookup for a taken guy. Shame on him for thinking you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 Women fall for attractive men ALL THE TIME. Regardless of the man's behavior. OP's behavior is the normal. The man is no good for a relationship but if you want a fling do that.I wouldn't try to understand or rationalize the guys behavior too much, you most likely will never know. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 (edited) I was dancing with a few of my friends when he pulls me away slightly and makes some extremely forward comments to me on the dancefloor. I don't remember a whole lot from this entire convo but I do remember him also (rudely) oogling me for a while and then mentioning that he "was taken, but...". He then went into another room. I learned later that his girlfriend (who is a mutual friend as well) was at the same party that night. I'm really attracted to him so although he doesn't have the most gentlemanly approach, I'm flattered. I can't imagine what would be attractive about a man that behaves this way, what's worse -- would make you feel flattered. Gentlemanly approach? Blatant douchebag approach is more like it. I can't understand women who cannot comprehend that if a man is blatantly disrespecting his girlfriend that is in the same room with him, he will most likely treat you the same way. There is nothing flattering about receiving negative attention. Edited September 19, 2014 by Zahara 2 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I posted a thread a while back when I ran into this guy I have been eyeing at a party. I unofficially met him in a bathroom after he barged in. He introduced himself and asked me some personal questions and then I left. He said hi later on that night. I assume he was single at the time, but possibly having a casual fling with his now current girlfriend. Flash forward to last weekend and I am yet again at another party where he is as well. I was dancing with a few of my friends when he pulls me away slightly and makes some extremely forward comments to me on the dancefloor. I remember introducing myself again, and I think he remembered me subconsciously from our first encounter. I don't remember a whole lot from this entire convo but I do remember him also (rudely) oogling me for a while and then mentioning that he "was taken, but...". He then went into another room. I learned later that his girlfriend (who is a mutual friend as well) was at the same party that night. I'm really attracted to him so although he doesn't have the most gentlemanly approach, I'm flattered. Although, I think he's crossing the line with these type of blatant come-ons behind her back. What do you make of all of this? To sum up: the guy is a scumbag who happens to be hot. Lets forget he has a girlfriend, willing to cheat on her, and that he is a creep for barging into a bathroom a lady is occupying and goes out of his way to pull you away from your friends... he's hot, so, like, um, it's all good. If you sleep with him, do not come back here crying that he broke your heart, used you for sex and other people view you as a sl-t for hooking up with a d-bag who has a girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I can't imagine what would be attractive about a man that behaves this way, what's worse -- would make you feel flattered. Gentlemanly approach? Blatant douchebag approach is more like it. I can't understand women who cannot comprehend that if a man is blatantly disrespecting his girlfriend that is in the same room with him, he will most likely treat you the same way. There is nothing flattering about receiving negative attention. What annoys me the most is these women then cry after the guy throws them away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author emoore2013 Posted September 19, 2014 Author Share Posted September 19, 2014 Rude. He's trolling. End of story. Move on. Never let looks or attraction trump character. He's a bad dude. Don't be flattered. Be annoyed. You are not some cheap hookup for a taken guy. Shame on him for thinking you are. I really can't judge how he acts in a relationship because he did not cheat with me, and I don't think either of us would go as far. He may not be an ideal boyfriend it seems, but he is actually a good person (so I've heard). He is really involved in academics, volunteers, etc. Although he doesn't have the best judgement upon observation, he does seem to have character, and is not your typical scumbag. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I really can't judge how he acts in a relationship because he did not cheat with me, and I don't think either of us would go as far. He may not be an ideal boyfriend it seems, but he is actually a good person (so I've heard). He is really involved in academics, volunteers, etc. Although he doesn't have the best judgement upon observation, he does seem to have character, and is not your typical scumbag. Whatever you have to tell yourself to rationalize putting yourself in a compromising situation. You are begging to have your heart broken. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I really can't judge how he acts in a relationship because he did not cheat with me, and I don't think either of us would go as far. He may not be an ideal boyfriend it seems, but he is actually a good person (so I've heard). He is really involved in academics, volunteers, etc. Although he doesn't have the best judgement upon observation, he does seem to have character, and is not your typical scumbag. Really?! What part of "has a girlfriend, solicits hook-ups from others" does not read a scumbag to you? Please. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 So he's good looking and also aggressive, which is a combination some women do find attractive. He's used to success with women because of his looks and now because of his track record. That's all well and good for a hookup, but it's not boyfriend material. This guy will hopefully burn out by 40 and be ready to treat someone right. Until then, only for hookups. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 before you hook up with this guy......at the next party introduce yourself to his gf ..walk right up......say hey i met your bf..... thought i might introduce myself..get to know her.....watch him change......then decide if thats the guy you want...if you do ever decide to do soemthing...realize who you would be hurting....then see if you still feel flattered with the attention.......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 we could all learn from her. shes showing us the truth about what girls want. girls will rationalise any guys beahviour if they like them or find them attractive. imagine the guy here wasnt attractive- what would most probably happen is she would be saying what a creep he is and a scumbag for doing this with his gf and be laughing with her friends at his text messages when he tries hits on her. what a loser this guy is she will say and think! Link to post Share on other sites
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