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He is "too tired" lately. How can I talk with him about this?


sgbtra

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I'm dating a guy, we've been together for roughly a month.

 

He is wonderful in so many ways, and we both feel a strong connection to each other. We hang out once during the week and usually both Saturday and Sunday.

 

Often, after work on the weekday when we will hang out he will say he usually gets quite quiet after work because he is tired. However, I haven't seen any evidence of this until last night.

 

We went to dinner last night and afterwards he just lay on my lap and fell asleep! I tried to be intimate with him, but he said he was too tired. Since we only see each other once during the week I felt like him sleeping on my lap was a "waste" of time, since we couldn't talk, couldn't share anything, couldn't do anything I just sat there while he slept.

 

A similar thing happened on Sunday afternoon after we returned from a long bicycle ride. He came back to my place and just slept for a few hours. I am craving quality time with him, and I feel disappointed every time he just wants to sleep when were together. To me, it feels like every time he falls asleep when were together, it feels like I'm not worth the effort to him, I'm not exciting enough to him.

 

In the past if someone had done that to me I would have verbalised it with them. However I think the problem here is more my reaction. Do I bring it up with him? Or do I actually go and make myself busy and less "available" to him - so that when we do spend time together it is quality time because we don't know when we'll catch up again.

 

I hope this makes sense. Maybe all this worry is in my head. I guess I'll try and forget about it. If anyone has any suggestions on what I should do, I'd appreciate to hear them.

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If you look at the flip side of the coin, instead of being offended by his falling asleep, you could take it as a compliment that he feels comfortable in your company to be able to nap...

 

Also, if he tells you that he is too tired on a weekday, listen to him! Why are you expecting more than he is apparently capable of?

 

If this relationship continues - and, say, you get to a point where you live together - this is what you will have to look forward to. If you want a relationship that involves constant excitement and action, then this guy isn't the one for you and it is time to move on.

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You basically go to sleep because you are exhausted. You are taking this too personal but I do understand how this could make you feel like you are not interesting enough. Maybe you two just do not have compatible lifestyles.

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I usually sleep when I am comfortable and feel relaxed. Sometimes sleep is a good thing and tired really does mean tired. You haven't been together long enough for it to be a real problem I think. Stay positive. Good luck.

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You need to chill out.

You've been dating this guy ONE month . He told you he gets tired after work. Sounds just like me. I'm a very strongly introverted person in a profession where I have to do a lot of social interaction with my co workers. At the end of the day, I'm socially exhausted so I get very quiet. This is what's happening to him.

 

 

 

Also... according to your post, this happened ONE time, in the one month you've been dating, and you want to turn it into some kind of serious discussion.

 

Bottle thosr thoughts up and sell them as man repellant, because that's exactly what they are. He would not have fallen asleep if he didn't want to be around you.

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WhatIsLove2014

I think it is pretty obvious that he is actually tired. If he was just saying he was tired and wasn't seeing you or whatever, then I would be concerned.

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We went to dinner last night and afterwards he just lay on my lap and fell asleep! I tried to be intimate with him, but he said he was too tired.

You did do something other than sleep - you went to dinner. And there's not much that's more intimate than sleeping in front of someone.

 

A similar thing happened on Sunday afternoon after we returned from a long bicycle ride. He came back to my place and just slept for a few hours. I am craving quality time with him, and I feel disappointed every time he just wants to sleep when were together.

Soooo... you went on a long bike ride, and that's not quality time?

 

I suggest you relax a little. I LOVE sleeping and napping with my man. Some of the hottest sex I've ever had is when I was cool about my man napping during our time together, and then he woke up well-rested and ready to wrestle in bed ;)

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I have a sleeping disorder that causes me to not cycle through my sleep stages correctly so every day I am exhausted. 24/7. I take stimulants through the day and it's helped a lot. With that being said, I feel for this man. I'm not saying he has a problem, but what if he does? My boyfriend is so bad about giving me a hard time over my napping and that makes everything so much worse because it makes me feel guilty. Nobody chooses to feel this way and it's a nightmare. You have good days and bad days. Sometimes I can sleep 9 hours, go to the store for an hour, and then come home and sleep for 5 hours because I literally can't keep my eyes open. I'm sorry I'm rambling but this hits close to home for me, especially in the sense that my boyfriend offers no support. At the beginning, he may have been trying to hide it from you which is why he didn't seem to take so many naps.

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