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Been awhile since I've posted. I've been trying online dating the last few months but no luck. POF I get hardly any replies back, Match.com was a ripoff, and I tried catholic match and got no replies. I'm trying a new one called Datemyschool and get a few replies back to my messages actually but mostly just for chit chat and that.

 

 

I know a lot of the profiles on these sites are fake and I've come across a few but any recommendations on free dating sites other than POF, Okcupid, Zoosk crap?

 

 

What should I say in my messages?

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I've have dated women I met on tinder. Contrary to popular belief it is not just hookups and sex, and it's free.

 

I tried that. I click on like for women that look interesting and no replies. And no I'm not a 230lb fat body lol.

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Talk briefly about what you found interesting in her profile and ask a simple question about it.

Yep, this is the best plan. Don't use canned messages, that is terrible advice.

 

By far the most common reason for lack of response is that your profile and photos are bad. Changing the site you use will not help. I'd very much advise you to visit the profile reviews forum on your chosen OLD site, and ask the friendly people there to look at your profile and tell you how it could be improved. You need a very good profile to have luck on OLD, but luckily the vast majority have horrible profiles so getting into the top 5% is really quite easy.

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Yep, this is the best plan. Don't use canned messages, that is terrible advice.

 

By far the most common reason for lack of response is that your profile and photos are bad. Changing the site you use will not help. I'd very much advise you to visit the profile reviews forum on your chosen OLD site, and ask the friendly people there to look at your profile and tell you how it could be improved. You need a very good profile to have luck on OLD, but luckily the vast majority have horrible profiles so getting into the top 5% is really quite easy.

 

I second this and what was said about visiting the profile advice area of the site. Unless you live in the hinterlands, the issue is either your profile or your approach. Both can probably be corrected. Good luck!

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Use good pictures on your profile. Good clear head and body shots will sell it. I've had ladies in the past tell me that my pictures are what brought them to my profile more than anything. Keep your profile short and to the point. Ensure the profile is positive, don't post anything negative. Never use canned messages, women spot them a mile away and you'll get little return on investment. What's worked for me at least is reading profiles (yes some are bland) and typing up a couple of lines based on their profile. It takes time but better than using the cast net/canned messages as a means to make first contact and shows you actually bothered to take the effort to read their profile. I've had more luck on okcupid than any other free sites. Match was a ripoff, full of fake profiles and little in the way of real people actually looking to meet anyone.

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Use good pictures on your profile. Good clear head and body shots will sell it. I've had ladies in the past tell me that my pictures are what brought them to my profile more than anything. Keep your profile short and to the point. Ensure the profile is positive, don't post anything negative. Never use canned messages, women spot them a mile away and you'll get little return on investment. What's worked for me at least is reading profiles (yes some are bland) and typing up a couple of lines based on their profile. It takes time but better than using the cast net/canned messages as a means to make first contact and shows you actually bothered to take the effort to read their profile. I've had more luck on okcupid than any other free sites. Match was a ripoff, full of fake profiles and little in the way of real people actually looking to meet anyone.

 

 

Actually match.com is getting sued. A few months ago I was watching Fox news and they mentioned they and other dating sites are being sued claiming many of the profiles are fake.

 

 

I hope they have to pay up big. Match.com charges $$$$ and it's pretty expensive. I cancelled my 6 month membership after 2 months and go no pro rated rate.

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POF is much harder than it used to be 10 years ago, because the average Jane can feel like Cute Sally, because things are so tilted in the girl's favor. Since it's free, she will be swarmed with emails if she's in the upper 10%, which most guys of all ages & types go after (hey, it's free).

 

So not only will she be most likely already juggling another guy or two -- a gal who's in the same league as you will be above it on there. It's a huge timing thing + something unique about Both your tastes has to mesh to outdo all of that to have a decent shot... or you being one of the TOP 5% of guys, or she's not one of the better looking gals on there.

 

Zoosk is not free. At all. Haven't really tried that. Known as a rip off.

 

OKCupid is cool and free. Less people than POF -- and a seemingly more unique personalities on there, which can help one with that unique-taste-meshing. Better than POF, but you'll run through your options quicker, where POF is replenished with newer people much more often. I would say OKCupid is the best % of time spent VS POF.

 

Match.com? I don't find it to be, in this mid-sized city, to have fake profiles. The problem is though, that many gals Can't write back because they don't pay. BUT, many who do pay do have their profiles highlighted, so that helps. From my experience, it has a little more than OKCupid, and you Will Get Better Results. Guys have to pay to write, so you nix out the Complete Wash of mail that floods girls' mailboxes that you'll find on free sites (but they'll still get their fair share, tho!).

 

Just remember -- to have success:

- IRL you usually have to be in a better league than they by many accounts to have a decent % shot

- *or* you have to be one of the top 5% best looking guys (with no profile red flags)

- You need to have the timing down to snag conversation when they're not already juggling other guys they've already met, etc.

 

I also recommend Tinder. It's not purely a hookup thing -- it's quick n easy. You won't waste time writing girls who don't already like you. A great requirement. You'll find yourself in dead ends, but since it's phone-only, you don't have to write a ton back n forth either. It's much more "let's cut thru the red tape" sort of thing. It also leaves things you would find in a profile as something to talk about.

 

Overall, you have to understand you're not the only shopper. The world doesn't revolve around you. You do have to be a decent catch, and looks matter.

Edited by azureorb
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You should always be honest and be yourself. I don't have much more advice than that because I have never had much luck myself. If you are a person of faith then I am aware of a website dedicated to helping singles date with purpose and honor God in the process. The name of it is Boundless and you should be able to locate it through Google, or you can just add a .org to the end. Good luck though and don't give up. Blessings on you!

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Ask a girl you trust to help you with your profile. What better way to know what attracts a woman than to ask one?

 

And when you do find someone interesting my personal advice would be to be creative. Like stated before women on OLD have a huge advantage over men so the more you can stand out from the pack the better.

Edited by jab116
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Ask a girl you trust to help you with your profile. What better way to know what attracts a woman than to ask one?

 

They will just tell you what attracts "THEM".

 

They can give you the fundamentals, but I wouldn't rely too heavily on asking other women for advice. Maybe help with pictures, but that's about it.

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Ask a girl you trust to help you with your profile. What better way to know what attracts a woman than to ask one?

I have been given some pretty horrible advice by female friends. The advice most people who are inexperienced with OLD give is simply dating site cliches. Say you're honest, kind, generous, nice, polite, happy, blah blah heard it all a million times. It makes for a totally dull and forgettable profile.

 

Much better advice comes from experienced guys who have used the site successfully. They know what works and what doesn't.

 

An often used metaphor is that a young lion does not ask a zebra, how to catch zebras... he asks the older, experienced lions.

 

But so few are prepared to listen, most people would rather stick their head in the sand and say la la la I am right it's the world that is wrong.

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Should have clarified, when I said profile I intended to say profile pictures. Anyway as I said before, try to set yourself apart from the other OLD men. Women have an advantage so the more you can leave a lasting impression the better.

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Women have an advantage

I don't know where this misconception comes from.

 

Sure, women can get messages a lot easier. They just stick up a pic and will get messages. But getting quality messages form interesting guys that they would like to meet, is just as difficult for women as it is for men.

 

For every woman that meets a man, there is a man that meets a woman, after all.

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Actually match.com is getting sued. A few months ago I was watching Fox news and they mentioned they and other dating sites are being sued claiming many of the profiles are fake.

 

 

I hope they have to pay up big. Match.com charges $$$$ and it's pretty expensive. I cancelled my 6 month membership after 2 months and go no pro rated rate.

About time they got sued, I'd like to get my money back. It was a total scam. A lot of time, effort and money wasted on match. Had better luck on the free sites.

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