lanabanana Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I have had 5 dates with a guy I met off of a dating site. We texted a lot until recently (meaning around 8 or so texts exchanged throughout the day). Signs he likes me: -at our last date (Saturday) we went to a baseball game where he tagged me in a Facebook post about it. After the game I looked throughout his FBook history and he hasn't done this with other women. The last one he was tagged with was a year ago and she did the tagging. -2 dates ago (last Wednesday), he asked me if I had told my friends how I met him and when I asked why, he said "to make sure we have our stories straight when I tell my friends" -last weekend (Friday night) he asked me to spend the night and said he'd rather hang out with me than his friends . We did have sex that night -he has not logged onto the dating site where we met in 8 days Signs he doesn't like me -Saturday during the day he acted distant...uninterested and kind of stand offish. He did show some affection but it felt weird. -He hasn't made plans to see me again yet which he has done quickly in the past -He left for a 5 day work trip Sunday morning so that could have been why he seemed distracted. Since he left his texts have been less and have been less enthusiastic. I sent him one last night saying "cant wait to see your face" and no response today. I want to know if I should pull the plug or not... I have a feeling hes lost interest and I got played Link to post Share on other sites
WhatIsLove2014 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 He is on a work trip so he could just be busy. I wouldn't think too much of it yet. How old are you n how old is he? Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 This part: Saturday during the day he acted distant...uninterested and kind of stand offish. He did show some affection but it felt weird. especially because it comes right after this part: last weekend (Friday night) he asked me to spend the night and said he'd rather hang out with me than his friends . We did have sex that night tells me maybe the sex wasn't as good as he'd hoped, and he has lost some interest 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lanabanana Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Ok so should I move on by this point Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 With most guys. Not all. Everything will change after sex. Because maybe that was their only drive from the start - although they just don't know it until it happens, then it really dawns on them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 5 dates and you've slept with him? I'd say he's hit and quit dear. He asked you to spend the night almost immediately.....if it were me, I'd have taken that as a HUGE red flag (unless you're just out to have fun and nothing more). If you want something a little more substantial, make them work a little more for intimacy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
R3d Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I think you got used for sex...sorry! Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I have a feeling that he got the sex and it's not worth the effort anymore. I would think coming off the intimacy you had with him the night before, he'd want to get closer to you. Instead, he was pulling away. You should be dating other guys and going out there and doing your thing regardless of where he is with you. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 "I have had 5 dates with a guy I met off of a dating site." There's your problem. I wish women would realize men use these sites to "pump and dump", sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Also... He did go on a work trip. Maybe relax a little. It's really hard to gauge a person over text. Wait until he's back. Unless there are texts or clear other signs it's done.. Is it possible your insecurities are getting the best of everything? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 "I have had 5 dates with a guy I met off of a dating site." There's your problem. I wish women would realize men use these sites to "pump and dump", sorry. Oh here we go, Ebenezer scrooge of OLD Not every man that uses a dating site is out to pump and dump, stop projecting your terrible experiences upon the world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Oh here we go, Ebenezer scrooge of OLD Not every man that uses a dating site is out to pump and dump, stop projecting your terrible experiences upon the world. MY experiences? Pfft, read the boards honey! Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 MY experiences? Pfft, read the boards honey! I do read the boards.....This is a subset of the entire population. You can't compare the millions of happy people who have met on line to what you read here. nearly EVERY man has a profile ON LINE, based on that fact alone, you're saying every man is garbage. Its reality........honey. Online Dating Statistics | Statistic Brain Total number of single people in the U.S.: 54,250,000 Total number of people in the U.S. who have tried online dating: 41,250,000 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 "nearly EVERY man has a profile ON LINE, based on that fact alone, you're saying every man is garbage." I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT say every man is garbage. You're ridiculous! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lanabanana Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 5 dates and you've slept with him? I'd say he's hit and quit dear. He asked you to spend the night almost immediately.....if it were me, I'd have taken that as a HUGE red flag (unless you're just out to have fun and nothing more). If you want something a little more substantial, make them work a little more for intimacy. It wasn't right away. It was the 4th date. Our 2nd and 3rd dates were very long (12 hours). I think its dawning on him now he isn't as interested as he thought. Maybe Im being insecure...I dunno...he does come across as quite stoic. My father is like that maybe that's why I like him. Im 26 hes 27. He did just text me back...with a picture of himself at his work exhibit. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 "nearly EVERY man has a profile ON LINE, based on that fact alone, you're saying every man is garbage." I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT say every man is garbage. You're ridiculous! Did you read and actually comprehend what I said..... Let me break it down to a more understandable level for you..... 1- You are saying every man using OLD is out to pump and dump 2- THEN based on the facts and links in above post, since every man uses OLD - and you go around repeating thread after thread that OLD sucks because every man that uses it sucks and when will women realize blah blah blah. 3- I'm proving a point that all men use OLD 4- Therefore, EVERY MAN IS OUT TO PUMP AND DUMP 5- you may as well become a nun. simple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Did you read and actually comprehend what I said..... Let me break it down to a more understandable level for you..... 1- You are saying every man using OLD is out to pump and dump 2- THEN based on the facts and links in above post, since every man uses OLD - and you go around repeating thread after thread that OLD sucks because every man that uses it sucks and when will women realize blah blah blah. 3- I'm proving a point that all men use OLD 4- Therefore, EVERY MAN IS OUT TO PUMP AND DUMP 5- you may as well become a nun. simple. Every man is NOT OLDing first of all. Ridiculous! And not every man is out to pump and dump but the ones who are know where to go....online. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike B. Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Sometimes when you post, you almost have to not even mention the sex because it will become the focus point and there will be no thinking outside of the box or other considerations. There should be more than one possibility here and those can come to light with a bit more information. Could he have been possibly turned off by anything else that has nothing to do with the fact that you two had sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Crila16 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 You had sex with him. He liked you, but you slept with him too soon. I'm sorry, but I'm completely against sleeping with a guy too soon. It rarely works out. It's never worked out for me...and it's never worked out for my friends. Sometimes if you get physical with a guy too soon, before he's had a chance to develop an emotional attachment to you...they lose interest. I don't care what century this is...it's never ok. Have I slept with a guy too soon? Hell yeah...if I don't want anything serious with them. You need to cut this one lose. If he really liked you, he wouldn't go this long without contact, and he would have txt'd you back immediately. ...and no...he didn't lose his charger or get abducted by aliens. It's going to sting for a while, but you'll be fine. Just next time, let a guy prove himself to you before you give him the gift of your body. This guy never earned it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Could he have been possibly turned off by anything else that has nothing to do with the fact that you two had sex? They had sex on Friday night and met again on Saturday. Unless sex was really bad and turned him off, I can't imagine what could have transpired since sex on Friday night and their meeting on Saturday for him to start distancing himself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lanabanana Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Sometimes when you post, you almost have to not even mention the sex because it will become the focus point and there will be no thinking outside of the box or other considerations. There should be more than one possibility here and those can come to light with a bit more information. Could he have been possibly turned off by anything else that has nothing to do with the fact that you two had sex? The only other thing I can think of is when we were at the baseball game on Saturday, he told me he tagged me in a Facebook post and I went "oh no, my mother will see it then and annoy me over it, I don't tell her anything about dating early on for a reason" and then later in the game my brother kept texting me (because he saw the Facebook post) asking me if I was there on a date. The guy asked me who I was texting and I said "my brother, he wants to know about the game and who Im here with" and he asked me what I told him and I said "oh I told him Im dating the mascot" (jokingly) he could have been annoyed by that but its hard to tell he acts closed off/stoic But it shouldn't matter if hes only using me for sex... Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Every man is NOT OLDing first of all. Ridiculous! And not every man is out to pump and dump but the ones who are know where to go....online. Statistics prove you're wrong. That is all. Link to post Share on other sites
Crila16 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 lanabana...no. You're trying to over-analyze and blame it on something you did. His intentions were to get some the whole time, and he got some. That's why I'm against sleeping to soon with someone you want to date seriously, until you know them well enough to know their true intentions and to let their feelings grow for you. Now you know what his intentions were and he's done. It's really it plain and simple. Don't beat yourself up. You did nothing wrong. If this guy was the one and really liked you, there is nothing you could say or do to make him lose interest. I don't think he was ever that interested from the start, he just fed you pretty words of hope. He liked you, but he knew he wasn't completely head over heels. Not your fault. You just have to wait until your someone comes along. Afterall, they can't all be your someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mike B. Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 The only other thing I can think of is when we were at the baseball game on Saturday, he told me he tagged me in a Facebook post and I went "oh no, my mother will see it then and annoy me over it, I don't tell her anything about dating early on for a reason" and then later in the game my brother kept texting me (because he saw the Facebook post) asking me if I was there on a date. The guy asked me who I was texting and I said "my brother, he wants to know about the game and who Im here with" and he asked me what I told him and I said "oh I told him Im dating the mascot" (jokingly) he could have been annoyed by that but its hard to tell he acts closed off/stoic But it shouldn't matter if hes only using me for sex... I'm not saying that he could not possibly have been looking for sex or got turned off by the sexual experience but just consider other possibilities. Could he have seen your reaction to the Facebook tag, texting during your date, and your unwillingness to tell your brother who your were on a date with as him as a bad thing? Could he be thinking that you are trying to hide something? Could he have thought maybe you were afraid another person you were dating might find out about him and now he is going into protection mode? Just don't let sex shroud other possibilities. It such an easy and obvious bait to take. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatIsLove2014 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 The only other thing I can think of is when we were at the baseball game on Saturday, he told me he tagged me in a Facebook post and I went "oh no, my mother will see it then and annoy me over it, I don't tell her anything about dating early on for a reason" and then later in the game my brother kept texting me (because he saw the Facebook post) asking me if I was there on a date. The guy asked me who I was texting and I said "my brother, he wants to know about the game and who Im here with" and he asked me what I told him and I said "oh I told him Im dating the mascot" (jokingly) he could have been annoyed by that but its hard to tell he acts closed off/stoic But it shouldn't matter if hes only using me for sex... i kind of cringed when I read that...sounds like you are 16...but obviously you are not. Like the other person said, could be that he thought you were texting someone else or hiding something. Wait until he comes back unless he is obviously showing that he isn't interested. Link to post Share on other sites
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