Giving up on Online Dating

[Natsu21]

I have decided that I am giving up on online dating.

 

It's a great place to meet friends, but a terrible place, if you're not patient, to meet women.

 

Horror stories as far as the eye can see, about failed dates. The majority of women I have met and dated on sites like OKCupid, POF, and Meet Me turn out to be either ego-strokers, kids with baby daddy issues, gold-diggers, or just there for the free ride.

 

So I've deleted my online dating accounts.

 

I think I'm just going to stick with the old routine and meet people.

 

Have any of you been successful with online dating?

[carhill]

I quit it when I was 'ahead' and really have no negative feelings about it. Met women from all over the world from it and had some really positive dating/relationship experiences and one marriage. However, it appears the nature of the venue has changed somewhat over the last couple decades of its existence; that's probably because people have changed, as well as the internet reaching far around the globe and into the fabric of societies.

[Natsu21]

I quit it when I was 'ahead' and really have no negative feelings about it. Met women from all over the world from it and had some really positive dating/relationship experiences and one marriage. However, it appears the nature of the venue has changed somewhat over the last couple decades of its existence; that's probably because people have changed, as well as the internet reaching far around the globe and into the fabric of societies.

 

It's different now.

 

It's more...selfish.

[HappyLove]

That's the best thing you could have done for yourself! Now challenge yourself to approach one woman you fancy a day and strike up a conversation. OLDing is the worst.

[PegNosePete]

Have any of you been successful with online dating?

Yes I have and so have many other people. In fact last year 17% of all marriages came from OLD.

[Natsu21]

That's the best thing you could have done for yourself! Now challenge yourself to approach one woman you fancy a day and strike up a conversation. OLDing is the worst.

 

Yeah, going out and meeting women is better than having to gauge them online. God after a year of this eyesore, I had enough, lol.

 

You had bad experiences with online dating?

[Natsu21]

Yes I have and so have many other people. In fact last year 17% of all marriages came from OLD.

 

I'm not saying that it fails. I just think that more reputable sites like Eharmony are better for this kinda thing.

 

Because Eharmony tends to be full of people with established careers who want a family and marriage.

 

And then there's sites like POF...and if you did a quick search, you know what I mean. I have decided that from this point forward, I'm just going to stay single and meet folks.

 

I'm young and I'm in no rush.

 

Online dating is good to make friends but not to date. Just my opinion, but everyone's different.

[carhill]

Yeah, one thing I can say for OLD was that I never met a lady who lied about being single. Every one I met through OLD and dated was not married to anyone, living with anyone or substantially connected, though I'm sure casual sex went on (not with me!) because that's normal for our generation.

 

In real life though, the dart board was far more complex. Striking up conversations with random women led to a whole milieu of issues, mainly surrounding infidelity. Hence, I came to see the separate programs as having their own unique positives and negatives. Overall, I'd say the OLD pathway turned out to be healthier and more honest, but that's specific to only one experience and demographic.

 

It certainly is possible that people have become more selfish. IDK. I've been encountering the myriad of human behaviors for over five decades and really have no strong opinion. There have always been givers and takers in all realms of relationships. The beauty of relationships is that we choose them, or anyone we associate with. There is no law requiring nor force compelling us to, as underscored by the OP's choice to give up on one method of association. I've taken that further, discontinuing all forms of association, romantically, with women. Do they miss me? Absolutely not! They couldn't care less. That's life!

[oberkeat]

There are a gillion threads here that ask this same question.

 

Some people have found success with OLD, some haven't. The point is, it shouldn't be your only means of meaning girls. It should be used in combination with meeting people in real life. It should be something you keep in the background that gives you more options.

[Natsu21]

Yeah, one thing I can say for OLD was that I never met a lady who lied about being single. Every one I met through OLD and dated was not married to anyone, living with anyone or substantially connected, though I'm sure casual sex went on (not with me!) because that's normal for our generation.

 

In real life though, the dart board was far more complex. Striking up conversations with random women led to a whole milieu of issues, mainly surrounding infidelity. Hence, I came to see the separate programs as having their own unique positives and negatives. Overall, I'd say the OLD pathway turned out to be healthier and more honest, but that's specific to only one experience and demographic.

 

It certainly is possible that people have become more selfish. IDK. I've been encountering the myriad of human behaviors for over five decades and really have no strong opinion. There have always been givers and takers in all realms of relationships. The beauty of relationships is that we choose them, or anyone we associate with. There is no law requiring nor force compelling us to, as underscored by the OP's choice to give up on one method of association. I've taken that further, discontinuing all forms of association, romantically, with women. Do they miss me? Absolutely not! They couldn't care less. That's life!

 

You got lucky

 

My last date, she lied about someone else in the picture, I was the back up

[d0nnivain]

I didn't do it for long -- 3 months about 10 years ago. I couldn't get the measure of person OL.

 

Meeting IRL was always better for me.

[dumbass2]

It can be a great place to meet someone, especially if you are older. You have to take it in moderation and not count on it as the only means. I'm not on there now because i'm taking a break from it, but I have joined the "meetup" site to find local singles that have shared interests in my area. I also do a little of the speed dating because you get to meet and be face to face with 8-12 women in one night and sometimes you do get that instant chemistry without knowing all the particulars (which can be good and bad) like you get on the dating sites.

 

Again, someone that just relies on OLD for their means to meet people, will probably get very frustrated and find that they want to just give up. Google search singles in your area and in your age range and you might be surprised at the different alternatives that you find.

[Natsu21]

It can be a great place to meet someone, especially if you are older. You have to take it in moderation and not count on it as the only means. I'm not on there now because i'm taking a break from it, but I have joined the "meetup" site to find local singles that have shared interests in my area. I also do a little of the speed dating because you get to meet and be face to face with 8-12 women in one night and sometimes you do get that instant chemistry without knowing all the particulars (which can be good and bad) like you get on the dating sites.

 

Again, someone that just relies on OLD for their means to meet people, will probably get very frustrated and find that they want to just give up. Google search singles in your area and in your age range and you might be surprised at the different alternatives that you find.

 

Look up, Butler, AL

 

Check out the locals there

[mightycpa]

Look up, Butler, AL

 

Check out the locals there

 

I found me a HOT one in Butler:

 

Butler, AL Dentist | Leanne McDonald, DMD, FAGD | Instant Orthodontics

 

You don't think that's just a model, do you? You should get your teeth cleaned and find out!

[mightycpa]

False alarm, I found her real pic:

 

http://thatsallshewrotechicago.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/jasmine.jpg

[dumbass2]

I found me a HOT one in Butler:

 

Butler, AL Dentist | Leanne McDonald, DMD, FAGD | Instant Orthodontics

 

You don't think that's just a model, do you? You should get your teeth cleaned and find out!

 

I'd fly to Butler for that! but yes, that is obviously a model from who knows where. Some of the rest of the staff is nice looking, but Dr. Butler? not so much

[Natsu21]

I'd fly to Butler for that! but yes, that is obviously a model from who knows where. Some of the rest of the staff is nice looking, but Dr. Butler? not so much

 

Actually, I know Ms. MacDonald, and she does NOT look like that.

 

She's actually near 300 lbs, freckly, and in the process of a divorce.

[Natsu21]

False alarm, I found her real pic:

 

http://thatsallshewrotechicago.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/jasmine.jpg

 

I'm kidding, for real though. She goes to my church.

 

You guys can have her, because she doesn't date outside of her race.

 

See? The pretty ones usually have the racist parents.

 

But she's a rarity. There's another one here who is a straight Angelina Jolie KNOCKOUT lookalike.

 

But it's rare pickings, my friend

 

Majority of them, however, are overweight. Want me to show you a few pics? You'll vomit.

Edited September 15, 2014 by Natsu21

[FitChick]

Any woman digging for gold on POF has more than a few brain cells missing.

[StanMusial]

Actually, I know Ms. MacDonald, and she does NOT look like that.

 

She's actually near 300 lbs, freckly, and in the process of a divorce.

 

Ha.

 

I remember my buddy at the gym drooling over a bootcamp poster with this hot girl on it. I knew the lady, she looked WELL older than the poster photo and much less attractive. I imagine OLD has a lot of that.

[Natsu21]

I'm kidding, for real though. She goes to my church.

 

You guys can have her, because she doesn't date outside of her race.

 

See? The pretty ones usually have the racist parents.

 

But she's a rarity. There's another one here who is a straight Angelina Jolie KNOCKOUT lookalike.

 

But it's rare pickings, my friend

 

Majority of them, however, are overweight. Want me to show you a few pics? You'll vomit.

 

Now when I say overweight, I'm talking well over 400 to 500 lbs. So really, I mean obese.

[Natsu21]

Any woman digging for gold on POF has more than a few brain cells missing.

 

You'd be surprised.

 

 

I found one profile of an extremely attractive girl from Butler who wants a very well off man to take care of her.

 

Mind you, she's STUNNING...

 

But she just wants a man to pay her bills and whatnot.

 

If I was rich, I still wouldn't take care of her. Guys want to feel special, not obligated for that kind of behavior.

[PegNosePete]

Guys want to feel special, not obligated for that kind of behavior.

Well now that depends on the guy. Don't presume to speak for all of us.

[Emilia]

OLD doesn't work for me and I don't care how many marriages have spun from that. We know what % last long term, god knows how desperate some of those people must have been.

 

I agree that ideally you should combine the two: meet others in real life and combine it with OLD. However I have found after doing a bit of research into how some sites work that you have to log in and use it a fair amount to come up in search results frequently enough. I'm not really prepared to do that, rather get out and about.

 

It's not for me. It's hard for me to relate to a wall of text and a couple of photos.

[Diezel]

Yes I have and so have many other people. In fact last year 17% of all marriages came from OLD.

 

I've never felt comfortable with anyone spouting percentages for OLD when it relates to "marriages". Yes, they got married... but how many of those actually stayed together.

 

I'm actually more interested in the percentage of marriages that divorced that were OLD. That might be the truer barometer.