nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Hey you guys, there's this girl at school I'm getting along with, she's very pretty, but I don't want a relationship with her, so I'll never tell her I love her, I just want to bang her but she insist that I tell her I love her, now she doesn't clearly say "tell me u love me first" when I tell her that imma visit her she laughs and asks me what do I really want from her, now this gal is on my hands, I've never called her she's the one who has been calling for 5 consecutive days, when we talk over the phone we mainly flirt for 2 to 3hrs, when she calls she asks me how did I write today or tells me that her spinal cord is still painful(we were playing & she fell) but as soon as I bring the sex topic she asks what do I really want 4rm her. NOW ever since I was ****ed by my ex I promised myself I won't use the term "I love u", it has been working well, I've had sex with 2 gals without say I love em but this gal insists, wht must I do guys ? Just lie & say I love her? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Please don't. She wants love and respect - and you offer neither. 20 Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 What's the issue here? Tell her the truth: You're not interested in a relationship and are just looking for something casual She hasn't even asked for an admission of love or some kind of trade for sex (no emotionally balanced person would ...) She just wants to know your intentions. So tell her 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I'm sorry that you feel like some women are like meat - just a warm place to put it. Do you have any sisters? How would you feel if some guy did that to your mom? If you don't want anything but to "bang" her, then that's your right...But, you have a responsibility to let her know that you just want to "bang" her - especially when she's been clear that she wants more than a "bang". BTW, just cuz someone is weak and/or stupid, doesn't mean you take advantage of her. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Atticus9292012 Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 She wants love. You want sex. Be a decent guy and be like Jay-z "on to the next one." 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 You need to talk to the hand! Your hand. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) You didn't like that your ex f***** you up. Maybe you're able to dig deep and find empathy and integrity and not toy with another person's emotions and lie to them because you want to use them for sex. You don't need to come on LS for advice. You should know better. Edited September 11, 2014 by Zahara 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 To be fair, if he doesn't lie the next guy almost certainly will if she's "very pretty". If you tell her you're not looking for anything serious or long-term, then at least you removed yourself from the typical group of guys, but then you probably won't get laid...but you might, and if you do get laid she'll probably wonder if it'll turn into something serious anyway. If you lie, well you'll just another guy who screwed her over and you'll have to live with yourself being a jerk and essentially manipulating someone into a situation where they felt more secure and trusting of you, all the while your intentions are not to be with her in the future. The "good guy" thing to do would be to not initiate sex with or anything else at all and tell her she needs to be with someone who really respects her. But, that's not a guarantee as the next guy in your shoes can simply lie, but at least there's a chance it won't be that way. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Put her in touch with sabett. Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 All you have to do is have sex with her. Not "bring up" sex.. but actually do it. Just do it. Its strange.. once a woman is in the moment you can go very far just by shutting your mouth and getting to work. Now.. if you start taking off her clothes and getting into it and she stops and demands the "I love you".. then its just not going to happen. But its always good to test a woman's bluff. Women lie a lot. Test the waters before you give up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Easy answer: set her free and seek a girl who desires casual sex as much as you do. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 As a man myself I live by a code. I never say anything I dont mean. It is absolutely possible for you to have sex with her without telling her you love her. Let her know that youre a fun guy and you'd just like to have fun with her. Ofcourse you dont have to verbally say any of this, - You'll get to have sex with her, and get her respect in the end Lying is for insecure suckers that seek to deceive and manipulate, dont be one of those 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mopparon Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Easy answer: set her free and seek a girl who desires casual sex as much as you do. I completely agree with this. You 2 just aren't compatible in terms of what you want out of the relationship, and thats ok. But it would be wrong to just use her for sex when she has clearly stated that she wants to be in a more deeply committed and loving relationship before things get that intimate. Just using her for sex when you don't really care about her in that way and don't want something more serious like she does, may well cause her a lot pain and suffering later. There are plenty of girls / women in the world who just want casual sex too though and its easier than ever to find them now we have the internet, so just go out there and find someone more compatible with you, someone who wants what you want out of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Mopparon Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 As a man myself I live by a code. I never say anything I dont mean. It is absolutely possible for you to have sex with her without telling her you love her. Let her know that youre a fun guy and you'd just like to have fun with her. Ofcourse you dont have to verbally say any of this, - You'll get to have sex with her, and get her respect in the end Lying is for insecure suckers that seek to deceive and manipulate, dont be one of those If a girl is insisting that you tell her what you want from the relationship before getting intimate and you don't tell her the truth, that you don't really love her and don't want anything serious with her, then you are lying to her by omission If she changes her mind and decides she just wants something fun too, then that's great But don't hide your true intentions from her! Especially when she has been so insistent in asking you what you want out of the relationship, so insistent in wanting to know whether or not you love her! Failing to answer her questions, failing to tell her your true intentions when she has so clearly asked you what they are, is a form of lying to her. A way of hiding what you really want from this relationship. There is no need to do that OP. No need to hide that from her. Just tell her the truth and if she's still insistent that she wants more than you can offer, then move on to the next girl! As you've already said yourself there are other girls out there who will be happy to have casual sex with you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 I'm sorry that you feel like some women are like meat - just a warm place to put it. Do you have any sisters? How would you feel if some guy did that to your mom? If you don't want anything but to "bang" her, then that's your right...But, you have a responsibility to let her know that you just want to "bang" her - especially when she's been clear that she wants more than a "bang". BTW, just cuz someone is weak and/or stupid, doesn't mean you take advantage of her. No I don't have sisters, I'm the only, and this reflects to women also, some of you also want to sex guys nothing more. And this taking advantage of a normal humanbeing without disabilities is invalid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 She wants love. You want sex. Be a decent guy and be like Jay-z "on to the next one." No you understand, this girl is very very pretty, and all my friends expect me to have sex with her so going on to the next one isn't an option if I haven't sex her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nerdlingZA Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 All you have to do is have sex with her. Not "bring up" sex.. but actually do it. Just do it. Its strange.. once a woman is in the moment you can go very far just by shutting your mouth and getting to work. Now.. if you start taking off her clothes and getting into it and she stops and demands the "I love you".. then its just not going to happen. But its always good to test a woman's bluff. Women lie a lot. Test the waters before you give up. Yes! This is exactly what I'm going to do if she comes to my house or allows me to visit her Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 No you understand, this girl is very very pretty, and all my friends expect me to have sex with her so going on to the next one isn't an option if I haven't sex her. Are you still in highschool? 16 Link to post Share on other sites
Atticus9292012 Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I got nothing. I give zero f***** what my friends think of my sex life. Not sure how that's a valid argument. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 nerdlingZA Who cares what your friends want? Be a man not a boy. This girl doesn't want you to tell her you love her. She actually wants to be in love before she has sex. You said yourself that you just want to bang her. In essence you want to use her for your pleasure regardless of what she wants. Do not lie to her. Do not use her. Do the honorable thing & walk away. If you do anything else you are not a quality person. If you are this bad at 18-19, I shudder to think what an awful person you will become if you follow the despicable advice given to you by Mister Zen. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 All you have to do is have sex with her. Not "bring up" sex.. but actually do it. Just do it. Its strange.. once a woman is in the moment you can go very far just by shutting your mouth and getting to work. Now.. if you start taking off her clothes and getting into it and she stops and demands the "I love you".. then its just not going to happen. But its always good to test a woman's bluff. Women lie a lot. Test the waters before you give up. That is despicable advice to give a teenaged boy! The OP is under 20 & we have no info about the age of the girl. You are in essence recommending that he date rape her. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 No you understand, this girl is very very pretty, and all my friends expect me to have sex with her so going on to the next one isn't an option if I haven't sex her. If you friends expect you to smoke crack would you? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 No you understand, this girl is very very pretty, and all my friends expect me to have sex with her so going on to the next one isn't an option if I haven't sex her. Why do they expect you to have sex with her...you make a bet or they rate you the big stud on campus/hs and how are you going to prove it to them anyway? I'm guessing you are planning to tell everyone how she let you bang her, which is only going to cause her more distress if you add that on to your ILY lie. IDK, you described her beauty with 2 verys. Sounds pretty hot, so why aren't you singing 'she's so fine I want to make her mine'? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somegoodman Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 It's a trap. Don't comply, just try to bed her and if she resists, move on and stop giving her attention. If you say "I love you" she'll get the validation she's after and won't have any use for you any longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Mopparon Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 All you have to do is have sex with her. Not "bring up" sex.. but actually do it. Just do it. Its strange.. once a woman is in the moment you can go very far just by shutting your mouth and getting to work. Now.. if you start taking off her clothes and getting into it and she stops and demands the "I love you".. then its just not going to happen. But its always good to test a woman's bluff. Women lie a lot. Test the waters before you give up. That is despicable advice to give a teenaged boy! The OP is under 20 & we have no info about the age of the girl. You are in essence recommending that he date rape her. I agree. No means no! If a woman tells you no she doesn't want to have sex until she is in a committed relationship with someone who loves her, then you have no choice but to believe her! You can talk to her about your feelings and what you would like out of the relationship sure, and see if she changes her mind. But if she insists that she wants to be in a committed relationship before she gets intimate, to be loved etc, then you must believe her! Otherwise you are at risk of pushing her into doing something she really doesn't want to do. ... (And I know from experience how hurtful that can be and how long lasting the emotional scars can last, as I was pushed into doing sexual things that I didn't really want to do and found really uncomfortable / upsetting in past relationships... The emotional pain still haunts me to this day! ) It doesn't matter what your friends think! You are your own man! And you have a choice! You can be a man with honour and self respect, or you can be just another immature jerk who treats women like sex objects and cares only about the number of "chicks banged" Seriously, do you really want to continue down a path of doing things just to show off to other people?! No matter who you hurt along the way? You have the chance to be the bigger person here OP. You have the chance to live by an honourable code and not an incredibly immature "look how many chicks I've banged" code. Link to post Share on other sites
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