Nervous this isn't going further

[spiritofjosh]

Haven't posted here in a while, so hello and thanks for taking time out of your day to read this.

 

About a year ago I met this girl via mutual friends, I had a huge crush on her ever since. She is beautiful to me, all that. We became facebook friends and over the past year liked a few pictures, statuses, but nothing ever substantial and no actual conversation.

 

Recently a mutual friend was trying to press the her and I talking thing because he knew I've had a crush on her. I hung out with them a couple times but nothing went down but last weekend she gave me her number randomly and asked me to come meet her and her friend for drinks. We didn't text much after until she had made these plans to go camping for this weekend that just passed, her friend invited me and she seemed into the idea of me going. She started texting me about the plans and after a day or two it almost seemed as if she was using the camping trip as a way to text me, because after that subject, she'd talk about other stuff.

 

The day we went camping she said she had an extra tent for me, then later on said her friends took all the tents so she'd have to share with somebody, I said she could share it with me because I wouldn't mind. When me and the people I went with got to the camping site way later everything was all set up and when I asked where to put my stuff she told me to put it all in her tent, after deciding to share the tent with me.

 

The night was good, we weren't overly flirty or anything but when we went to sleep she was very talking, I made her laugh a lot and we ended up cuddling and kissing, no sex or anything which is better that way. When we cuddled it seemed as if she was nervous to, or shy.

 

From that day on I spent the next 3 days with her, not even remotely getting sick of each other. The whole weekend was among other friends but still every place we stayed each night we slept together and cuddled. She made moves to make sure we were the ones sleeping together, it was amazing.

 

Last night I had to finally go home because I had to go back to work this morning and after she dropped me off at my car she started texting me an hour later, for a while until I eventually fell asleep. Today however, she didn't text me.

 

I've heard from people who know her that she is shy but almost everybody that brought "us" up all said they could see us dating and that we should, etc. But since I'm a bit of a paranoid pessimist with girls, I'm just wondering why all last week she would be the first to text me and keep the conversation going, spend the entire weekend with me, cuddling and kissing up until last night then today say nothing? She sent me a snapchat involving an inside joke but that was it. I mentioned being a pessimist because I know I could text her but I feel like she isn't interested now so I don't know if I should bother.

 

It's only been a day but should I take it as she wasn't that interested and I was just a small weekend fling or give her time? Thanks for reading.

[Smarty Pants]

"all last week she would be the first to text me and keep the conversation going, spend the entire weekend with me, cuddling and kissing up until last night then today say nothing?"

 

dude its been one day, RELAX. Girls will let you know when they are interested. If she's been contacting you every day, take that as a positive.

 

Just reach out and ask to see her.

[spiritofjosh]

I know it sounds ridiculous being one day but I've been into her for a long time and now this finally seemed to be a break through I'm terrified to be let down that I was just a fling or she isn't really interested.

 

Problem with seeing her is she lives an hour and a half from my house and same from my job which to me isn't a big deal. But our schedules make it seem like it'd be hard. I work as parts manager 7-3:30 Mon-Fri and she works at a cafe at nights until 11 and only really has Sunday and Mondays off, so working around that seems like it'll be a challenge, on top of finding out if she's into me or if she just was this past weekend.

 

Pardon my insecurity but like I said, I never thought I'd get this far with her so I don't want to ruin my chances by being annoying or coming on too strong or fast. Thank you for the reply.

[Versacehottie]

dude you are potentially gonna ruin it by making her do all the initiating. Why are you hesitating? She is probably waiting for a sign for you that she is not the only one feeling you and that it's mutual. Ask her out.

[Assasda]

Youre thinking like a woman.

Surely you have some testosterone inside you.

 

You built up a rapport with this woman already, cuddling with her, and what not.

It probably should have been more, but I sense that youre a bit of a wuss.

 

Dont be a wuss anymore man.

Call the girl, and talk with her over the phone, then invite her out somewhere.

Easy

[Lani]

Have you texted her?

[bluesgirl]

From a girls perspective I bet she is wanting you to put more effort in. If she has been the one to text you first the whole time, I think it's your time to text her first and make plans with her. She probably doesn't want to feel like she's the only one putting effort in. If she was cuddling with you the whole camping trip she obviously has feelings for you. Man up and make a move!

[spiritofjosh]

thanks for the replies everyone. In retrospect I'm looking at how things played out and although we cuddled and stuff it was me who'd reach out to put my arms around her when we were laying down and she would hold my arm to her and stuff but otherwise wouldn't be first to do all that, just would respond to me. Also when we were just hanging out she'd talk to me and all but we wouldn't be flirting or anything really, it really was only when we were laying down going to sleep each night.

 

That's why I have that nagging feeling that I don't know if it's really meant to go anywhere or how interested she actually is.

[2005tahoe]

Im having the same issue but I have been the one to initiate text. I took a girl out this past sunday and the night was amazing. I texted her when I got home as she done the same. We have texted a little bit the following day but I texted her "good morning" yesterday morning and have not heard anything from her since. I dont know if shes waiting on me to call or text buut I dont want to be annoying.

 

What do I do?

 

Sorry to hijack your thread, but im lost.

[HappyLove]

This is pathetic. Really man?! You're gonna let your dream girl slip through your fingers like this because you can't man up and send a "hey, how are you" text? I can't even feel sorry for you. People who let opportunities like this slip by are fools. I mean she was kissing you man!

 

Do you know what women LOVE? CONFIDENCE. Reach out!

 

 

You have your friends trying to hook you up, the girl reserving tents for you. If you're interested you can't expect everyone else to take the lead for you.

[spiritofjosh]

You're right. But I texted her today and since she responded she hasn't stopped, she was talking more than me. Now next problem I'm seeing haha: her seemingly avoiding the topic of us hanging out.

 

She kept throwing hints that nobody goes to hang out with her because she lives far, she really wants to do this but nobody will with her, over and over. So I was like, invite me down and I'll hang out whenever and to that she didn't say yeah or anything, sort of just moved onto something else. So this is why I keep thinking she is interested in being friends only...I dunno it just seems weird to me. I was expecting her to comply with my obvious intention of wanting to hang out (I mentioned not only going to her, but doing the things she said she wanted to) and never got a "I'd like to hang out again" vibe. I doubt she can be that shy.

[Zippy2000]

hmmm that is too crazy to think about. Just move on' date=' try forget by finding someone new. Go try to search for dating sites for you to have something to look forward too. it might somewhere there you would see the right person for you

 

Not a well though out answer without reading the facts. He hadnt spoken to her for JUST a day. We all recommended him to text and he was done.

 

Please think and get all the facts before you give and answer as it could be to the original posters detriment.

[Eternal Sunshine]

You're right. But I texted her today and since she responded she hasn't stopped, she was talking more than me. Now next problem I'm seeing haha: her seemingly avoiding the topic of us hanging out.

 

She kept throwing hints that nobody goes to hang out with her because she lives far, she really wants to do this but nobody will with her, over and over. So I was like, invite me down and I'll hang out whenever and to that she didn't say yeah or anything, sort of just moved onto something else. So this is why I keep thinking she is interested in being friends only...I dunno it just seems weird to me. I was expecting her to comply with my obvious intention of wanting to hang out (I mentioned not only going to her, but doing the things she said she wanted to) and never got a "I'd like to hang out again" vibe. I doubt she can be that shy.

 

FFS make a specific plan and ask her out properly. Are you really that passive?

[Assasda]

You're right. But I texted her today and since she responded she hasn't stopped, she was talking more than me. Now next problem I'm seeing haha: her seemingly avoiding the topic of us hanging out.

 

She kept throwing hints that nobody goes to hang out with her because she lives far, she really wants to do this but nobody will with her, over and over. So I was like, invite me down and I'll hang out whenever and to that she didn't say yeah or anything, sort of just moved onto something else. So this is why I keep thinking she is interested in being friends only...I dunno it just seems weird to me. I was expecting her to comply with my obvious intention of wanting to hang out (I mentioned not only going to her, but doing the things she said she wanted to) and never got a "I'd like to hang out again" vibe. I doubt she can be that shy.

 

OP you seem like the biggest WUSS ever.

Stop being a wuss, just stop it.

 

I take it you have time to go over to her.

Call her on the darn phone. Go see Sin CIty in the movie theatre.

Again Stop being a wuss

[spiritofjosh]

I'm just awful at reading people. she has a lot of guy friends so I'm thinking she just likes me as another one.

[DazedandConfused8]

She started texting me about the plans and after a day or two it almost seemed as if she was using the camping trip as a way to text me, because after that subject, she'd talk about other stuff.

 

The day we went camping she said she had an extra tent for me, then later on said her friends took all the tents so she'd have to share with somebody, I said she could share it with me because I wouldn't mind. When me and the people I went with got to the camping site way later everything was all set up and when I asked where to put my stuff she told me to put it all in her tent, after deciding to share the tent with me.

 

The night was good, we weren't overly flirty or anything but when we went to sleep she was very talking, I made her laugh a lot and we ended up cuddling and kissing, no sex or anything which is better that way. When we cuddled it seemed as if she was nervous to, or shy.

 

From that day on I spent the next 3 days with her, not even remotely getting sick of each other. The whole weekend was among other friends but still every place we stayed each night we slept together and cuddled. She made moves to make sure we were the ones sleeping together, it was amazing.

 

Last night I had to finally go home because I had to go back to work this morning and after she dropped me off at my car she started texting me an hour later, for a while until I eventually fell asleep. Today however, she didn't text me.

 

^ Everything here is incredible. Congratulations! It sounds like you two had an excellent time together and really connected.

 

There are a few reasons she could be behaving the way she is:

 

1. She's looking back on the weekend and thinking it went too fast, and she needs some time to slow things down

 

2. She's looking back on the weekend and thinking you weren't into her/as reciprocative as she wanted you to be, so she's backing away and waiting for you to approach her.

 

3. She's tired from a great weekend with you and legitimately needs to recharge herself for a few days.

 

4. Yes, it really was just a weekend getaway fling and now that it's over you're over.

 

Whatever it is, you're only going to figure it out by speaking to her. I'd give her another day or two to text you, and if not send her something light about how you had a great time with her over the weekend.

[HappyLove]

I'm just awful at reading people. she has a lot of guy friends so I'm thinking she just likes me as another one.

 

 

You've given like 10 excuses as to you GUESSING why she doesn't like you. You completely ignore the facts...she kissed you, she snuggled up with you, she reserved tents for you to sleep in, she slept with you every night while there. Come on man! Send her a definite date and time and ask her on a date. At least you will know if she's not worth your time.

[spiritofjosh]

I know you're all more than likely right and I'm wrong but I can't shake this weird feeling that what happened over the weekend happened and now it's different. I mean things look and seem well when I texted her before around 3:30 and she texted me consistently up until almost 9 then stopped. But I feel like it's too soon to flat out ask about our "feelings" because it would seem rushed. After all, I've barely had her number for 2 weeks.

 

It's hard to explain exactly what I mean, but it seems as if hanging out with me isn't her top priority because she isn't so much evading when I mention hanging out but she doesn't seem to accept it either. So if she is interested, kissed me and all that, why be so weird about hanging out again?

 

Everybody is right, I should just ask her to hang out but going with what I had mentioned, I'm afraid to just be "another guy friend" to her. I know I sound like a wuss, and definitely overly pessimistic about this situation, but I also like being careful about moving too quick and guessing how somebody is. I feel it's too forward to ask her what she thinks of me or us right now.

[Versacehottie]

I know you're all more than likely right and I'm wrong but I can't shake this weird feeling that what happened over the weekend happened and now it's different. I mean things look and seem well when I texted her before around 3:30 and she texted me consistently up until almost 9 then stopped. But I feel like it's too soon to flat out ask about our "feelings" because it would seem rushed. After all, I've barely had her number for 2 weeks.

 

It's hard to explain exactly what I mean, but it seems as if hanging out with me isn't her top priority because she isn't so much evading when I mention hanging out but she doesn't seem to accept it either. So if she is interested, kissed me and all that, why be so weird about hanging out again?

 

Everybody is right, I should just ask her to hang out but going with what I had mentioned, I'm afraid to just be "another guy friend" to her. I know I sound like a wuss, and definitely overly pessimistic about this situation, but I also like being careful about moving too quick and guessing how somebody is. I feel it's too forward to ask her what she thinks of me or us right now.

 

yeah, that's what i see when I hear what's going on in your thoughts: pessimism. It's unfortunate. Because when you are recounting the story and facts of the weekend, i only see positives. Yet you are finding ways to doubt her interest. I see a ton of reasons that point to her interest. Although you better jump on it and do something and work on your thought process. Be positive! Good luck!

[mightycpa]

"all last week she would be the first to text me and keep the conversation going, spend the entire weekend with me, cuddling and kissing up until last night then today say nothing?"

 

dude its been one day, RELAX. Girls will let you know when they are interested. If she's been contacting you every day, take that as a positive.

 

Just reach out and ask to see her.

 

I couldn't read any farther once I saw this. I had to respond.

 

"all last week she would be the first to text me and keep the conversation going, spend the entire weekend with me, cuddling and kissing"

 

This IS how they let you know they are interested. She will continue to be interested until she's not. Strike while the iron is hot.

 

I will continue reading now.

[mightycpa]

Good grief, son.

 

CALL the girl up and ask her out for a proper date. Forget about feelings, and talking about love and all of that ****. Too early and not necessary.

 

Take her out. Have a good time. Let everything occur naturally.

[Allumere]

For F' sake....read the post immediately above this one. Again...and again. This will fail, BECAUSE YOU ARE OVER THINKING THE LIFE OUT OF IT. Your world will not end if she is "friend" only and it could go in a new direction if she is interested in more...now read post above and FOLLOW THE BLOODY ADVISE.

[Mrin]

Good grief, son.

 

CALL the girl up and ask her out for a proper date. Forget about feelings, and talking about love and all of that ****. Too early and not necessary.

 

Take her out. Have a good time. Let everything occur naturally.

 

This. Don't say, "wanna hang out?" That's what friends do. Instead, CALL her and tell her that you would like to take her out on X day/night to do Y. Y doesn't have to be big - dinner and a walk in the park enjoying the end of summer. She wants to feel pursued by you. Romantically. Don't worry about feelings or intentions or how she views you - it is all too early for that and honestly, your behavior will determine a large part of how she sees you.

[spiritofjosh]

I gave it a day or two and the conversations are still going strong, yet I still have to be the first to text. I don't mind but I feel like if I didn't text her we wouldn't have talked all week. Yet, when it text first she keeps going until late at night. So weird to me.

 

But last night we finally made plans to hang out this Saturday night when she gets off work, I'm gonna go down to her and were gonna bar hop bc she said her towns having an annual carnival. This is good but the vibe I kept getting from her when I was trying to make plans seemed very hesitant, almost like she just agreed to be nice. She kept going off how her towns having that thing but nobody will come hang out with her, she'd just go to bars alone, blah blah so I said I'd come down there and have no problem. To this she says "well it's gonna be terrible I'm warning you, my town is all crazy people, etc." So I was like if you don't want to hang out that's fine I won't be mad but she said she does and was still inviting me to. She really is so confusing.

 

I'm either thinking she's very shy, only interested in being friends at this point, wants to move slow or is intimidated by me.

 

And why I say intimidated is not because I'm cocky, but her group of friends and her I've only known for a year and they're all younger than me. They first liked a band I played in and we made friends that way, I'm covered on tattoos and I have a very strong "I don't give a ****" personality at times. My best friend pointed this out that a lot of girls I've been involved with get intimidated by me, so maybe this is the underlying issue all along with her? and if so, why didn't she have a problem texting me all last week first? Aye caramba.

[HappyLove]

I gave it a day or two and the conversations are still going strong, yet I still have to be the first to text. I don't mind but I feel like if I didn't text her we wouldn't have talked all week. Yet, when it text first she keeps going until late at night. So weird to me.

 

But last night we finally made plans to hang out this Saturday night when she gets off work, I'm gonna go down to her and were gonna bar hop bc she said her towns having an annual carnival. This is good but the vibe I kept getting from her when I was trying to make plans seemed very hesitant, almost like she just agreed to be nice. She kept going off how her towns having that thing but nobody will come hang out with her, she'd just go to bars alone, blah blah so I said I'd come down there and have no problem. To this she says "well it's gonna be terrible I'm warning you, my town is all crazy people, etc." So I was like if you don't want to hang out that's fine I won't be mad but she said she does and was still inviting me to. She really is so confusing.

 

I'm either thinking she's very shy, only interested in being friends at this point, wants to move slow or is intimidated by me.

 

And why I say intimidated is not because I'm cocky, but her group of friends and her I've only known for a year and they're all younger than me. They first liked a band I played in and we made friends that way, I'm covered on tattoos and I have a very strong "I don't give a ****" personality at times. My best friend pointed this out that a lot of girls I've been involved with get intimidated by me, so maybe this is the underlying issue all along with her? and if so, why didn't she have a problem texting me all last week first? Aye caramba.

 

You REALLY need to start thinking more positively! Even when you get the date with the girl you talk negatively! Go on the date with a good attitude and leave the negativity at home.