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Was this woman expecting me to make a move?


Mark1

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I was texting with a married woman from my class today. We flirt a bit in texts, and she bought me lunch last week. It went like this:

 

Me: I sent her a picture of a rainbow outside my house, with the caption "for you!"

Her: "Wow!!! So pretty!! Are you trying to woo me?? :)"

Me: "If I was, I'd be a lot more direct than a half rainbow!"

Her: "hahaha you're funny :) "

 

Was i supposed to make a move when she said are you trying to woo me?

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What exactly are you expecting from this scenario? Flirting with a married woman and thinking about making moves on her is starting to get into sketchy waters...

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What exactly are you expecting from this scenario? Flirting with a married woman and thinking about making moves on her is starting to get into sketchy waters...

 

I am not responsible for other peoples relationship

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I am not responsible for other peoples relationship

 

Dumbest thing I've heard today...but it's still early. I like to think that if a woman does it with you (ex. cheating), she will do it to you. Stay away from married women...there are plenty of single women and you may live a lot longer. Aside from having a low moral compass, you sound like a real winner.

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Her: "Wow!!! So pretty!! Are you trying to woo me?? :)"

Me: "If I was, I'd be a lot more direct than a half rainbow!"

Right, because coming onto internet forums asking about what she may or may not be thinking, is "a lot more direct"?

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I was texting with a married woman from my class today. We flirt a bit in texts, and she bought me lunch last week. It went like this:

 

Me: I sent her a picture of a rainbow outside my house, with the caption "for you!"

Her: "Wow!!! So pretty!! Are you trying to woo me?? :)"

Me: "If I was, I'd be a lot more direct than a half rainbow!"

Her: "hahaha you're funny :) "

 

Was i supposed to make a move when she said are you trying to woo me?

 

Don't get involved with a married woman. It's a dead end. The changes of something good coming from it are very low.

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Some people are natural flirts who have no hidden agenda behind their words. They're just being playful.

 

Maybe there's some small element of attraction lingering there, but most people have enough grasp on their more primal urges to distance themselves from those types of feelings.

 

There's nothing to read into that message.

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I am not responsible for other peoples relationship

 

No, but you are responsible for maintaining your own integrity.

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OP, since she's bought you lunch and you're apparently flirting a bit, see if she and her H have an open M or are into swinging. You can do that playfully. Where did I learn this from? Female friends!

 

Modern M's can be very different from what I was socialized into so, comparatively, I had an antiquated viewpoint regarding them. Times have changed. You and a married woman sharing a class and she taking you to lunch and bantering with you are signs of that. Roll with it. Meanwhile, flirt with single ladies too. Use the techniques learned from this MW to benefit you in other areas. Life's about experiences. Good luck!

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OP, since she's bought you lunch and you're apparently flirting a bit, see if she and her H have an open M or are into swinging. You can do that playfully. Where did I learn this from? Female friends!

 

Modern M's can be very different from what I was socialized into so, comparatively, I had an antiquated viewpoint regarding them. Times have changed. You and a married woman sharing a class and she taking you to lunch and bantering with you are signs of that. Roll with it. Meanwhile, flirt with single ladies too. Use the techniques learned from this MW to benefit you in other areas. Life's about experiences. Good luck!

 

thanks. how would I find out about it w/o upsetting her?

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If anything, married women feel more inclined to flirt because they know they're not going to do anything about it and can't be expected to. No, she's not coming on to you. Yes, she's married. Yes, it matters.

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thanks. how would I find out about it w/o upsetting her?

First off, don't be concerned about upsetting her. She already knows what's in her mind and what's going on in her M and exactly what she's doing when interacting with you. There are no eggshells to walk on here.

 

If she flirts more in the future, like with that 'woo' remark, simply banter back with you'd be open to that if she and her H are. See where it goes. This isn't serious, life-altering stuff. It's social interaction. Like others have mentioned, married women flirt for fun all the time. It's fun testing boundaries with them. It's not serious. Save serious for your future wife. This is simply one MW of billions. Enjoy the interactions, and her buying you lunch, and learn from it. Use what you learn with single ladies you want to date.

 

BTW, unless you know her name and have confirmed her marital status, it's really unknown. Just as married women can not wear wedding rings and act like they're single (happened to me more than once in life!) single women, or women with erstwhile boyfriends can act married, situationally, like wearing a wedding ring or talking about their husband. Of course, if you've been to her house and met her husband and kids, pets, etc, that would be valid proof that she's indeed a MW. I've been around the block enough to be skeptical about everything and to definitely not take it seriously. Save the serious for school.

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I wouldn't even text a married woman. What is the point? What will you get out of having any kind of relationship with her (besides a black eye)?

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Michelle ma Belle
If anything, married women feel more inclined to flirt because they know they're not going to do anything about it and can't be expected to. No, she's not coming on to you. Yes, she's married. Yes, it matters.

 

Having been a married woman and a natural born flirt, this comment nails it.

 

Obviously there are many married women who flirt and chase after men with the goal of bedding them just as married men have been known to do BUT not ALL married women who flirt WANT to cheat.

 

From the sounds of things, you're more than happy to play the part of the OM in which case your moral compass is already f*cked up so why not go balls out and just ask her already?

 

You'll either get to knock boots and end a marriage or it will blow up in your face.

 

Sounds divine. What are you waiting for? :rolleyes:

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Next time, be more assertive, in a friendly way, and kiss her on the cheek. Then, if further banter ensues, get real. Usually, this results in a retreat (my experience) since most married women do this for fun, not reality, but that's OK. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Remember, each interaction provides good information for reading social cues, exploring different interaction styles and seeing how different women respond to your body language, behaviors and words.

 

If you wish to claim the moral high ground, that certainly is your prerogative. I did that for years and missed out on valuable interactions which could have taught a lot and, ironically, likely could have saved me from being deceived and manipulated by MW's. Learn the lessons early and remember them.

 

Don't neglect asking single young ladies on dates, of course presuming dating single young ladies and having romantic relationships with them is your goal. Flow this dynamic and your feelings of confidence right over to the dating arena.

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