h9dlb Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Split up from a 21 year relationship, 2.5 years ago now. I want to "Date" i.e go out with ladies for a night out and see how it goes. I'm in my mid 40's and been out with women as young as 31 and as old as 50. However what I find is when I take a woman out a couple of times I get my phone blown up every waking minute with text terrorism and they say "You're my boyfriend now, we're exclusive" or words to that effect and I feel a bit stuck with them (as I'm a bit too nice to hurt feelings). All I want to do is go out for a meal, drinks etc on a social basis on a weekend to see if a lady is right for me, but it seems they get all jealous very quickly and one even mentioned planning a wedding on the second date (that is no joke)! I don't think I'm anything special just an ordinary greying middle aged bloke with confidence issues! English by the way so I guess things are a little bit differnet over here. What am I doing wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Single after twenty one years? Welcome to the jungle! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Maybe you should try going to meetups regularly, those who meet for meals/drinks/movies. You get into a community and go out on a regular basis, with the same group of people, get to know more than one woman at the same time, get a sense of their personality without having to ask them out one on one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author h9dlb Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 Yeh looked at meet up but the groups I would be interested in seem to be mostly attended by men. Apart from the fact the lady I met a few weeks ago would go beserk ! Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Well, dump her, because I can see you want to keep dating other women! And open a meetup group yourself! A singles meetup, or whatever else you think would appeal to women. I opened two of them because there were none in my area, and I made some friends I go out on a regular basis. Link to post Share on other sites
Author h9dlb Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 Guys I think youre missing my point. I want to "date" i.e take a girl out socially on a weekend , but as soon as soon as I meet a girl they think were in a relationship straight away. I'm not talking about one woman it's everyone I've met so far. I could understand it if I was a rich supermodel guy but I'm not. I'm just a nice fella with old fashioned values (open car doors etc). Maybe I should be a bit meaner lol Surely all ladies are not like this ? Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Not all, but most women are like that. They tend to move faster than men, in my experience. Keep looking, because it's not all of them. I don't know what else you could do. If you get meaner, they'll still be after you lol Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Maybe an idea would be to tell a woman at the first date that you like to move slow and not jump into a relationship until a few months in, when both of you got an idea about whether or not you're a match. And then move slow. Ask them out just once a week initially, and don't contact them every day between dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Author h9dlb Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 Already said I like to move slow and not jump into a relationship (think that makes women more keen!) Seems to me all women I have met are desperate fror a full on relationship. I'm not a "player", just want a few social dates ! Seems impossible Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Do you live in the countryside? Not many available single men. Look into this social club called Spice in the UK. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Just tell them flat out you are just casually dating and not in any hurry to find something serious. If they get too clingy, grow a spine and tell them you are not interested in seeing them anymore. Ya got to weed out the cling-ons, needies, and crazies. The reality is you have to be upfront about everything or it will get out of control. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Well, Of the age range you mentioned (30 - 50), IMO, those women already 'been around the block' and know what they want... In my opinion, by the 3rd date and/or before you get naked the "why are you dating?" conversation should be had. I don't believe in all this 'let's just date and see where it goes'. Like in your case, you just want female company. You're not looking to see how many women you can bang (i.e. "a player") and you're not looking to get tied down again (i.e. marriage and/or exclusivity). And you have every right for that...it just needs to be communicated to the person you are dating and yup, these women in their 30-50s pretty much wanna know that upfront. Don't worry, there are also women - like you - who are probably coming out of a RL and are also just seeking company. Good luck on your search...:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
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