bluesgirl Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 So I know everyone has their deal breakers when it comes to dating and relationships but I am trying to figure out if mine is just too extreme. If a guy doesn't like the same kind of music as me I am immediately turned off. He could be the most attractive person ever but if I find out he doesn't like the kind of music I do then I am quick to disregard him. I think it's because music is such a big part of my life and I love going to concerts and festivals. Does anyone else have this deal breaker or am I the only one? The problem is the kind of music I listen to a lot of people my age (early 20's) don't listen to it. So it's hard to find a guy who is into the stuff I am. In my previous relationships I never cared too much, but I am starting to realize it's a big deal for me. Anyone else have weird deal breakers? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Ya...I'm all about the music too. If a guy was into country music, deal breaker!! I have eclectic taste in music and so does my husband....we do spend time listening to music together so ya nothing wrong with trying to fulfill that expectation. Don't sweat it, music is international, you will meet your match. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Other deal breakers.Doesn't like sushi Doesn't drink Smokes not a car guy can't turn a wrench Link to post Share on other sites
Lipitor11 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Yeah, music is also a deal breaker for me. Any guy that listens to Avril Lagvire or however her last name is spelled, (because I don't want to google her), gets kicked to the curb. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Yeah, music is also a deal breaker for me. Any guy that listens to Avril Lagvire or however her last name is spelled, (because I don't want to google her), gets kicked to the curb. Or any guy that listens to nickleback needs to be pushed off the pier. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I dont know why its a deal breaker for you guys. I used to tease my GF mercilessly about the music that she listened to. Made for good conversation. You certainly dont have to like the same type of music, but by all means it shouldnt be a deal breaker 10 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Music means A LOT to me, it's a big part of my life.....it's not compatible to not like and enjoy the same music. Obviously music isn't important to you but it is to me. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 luck me my husband can't stand nickleback either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluesgirl Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 Thanks for the replies everyone! I just really love going to concerts and it's hard for me to find people that would want to go with me because they just aren't interested in that kind of music. Usually I bring a girlfriend or my brother, but I just think it would be really enjoyable if my next boyfriend enjoyed it or was open to it also. As you can tell from my profile name I listen to a lot of blues, blues rock, classic rock, even some metal! If I were with a guy who liked EDM or rap there's just no way we would work... Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I prefer to spend time with a man who has a high degree of music appreciation, as I do, but I'm flexible about the genres. I like the very best of every single genre - yes, including rap and country. There are plenty of true gems in both categories. I've had relationships with smart, cool guys whose music taste seemed undeveloped, unexplored. But I gradually exposed them to more elegant, arresting music, and they always loved the stuff I played for them. But I'm not superior about it. Some people just haven't developed their ear or appreciation. I know fine art music when I hear it, but I like that I can have a good old time to some silly pop, too. I just don't like corporate music - the junk that's played on most radio stations. I like music with heart and soul 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bastus Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 <p>op:not really , some people can be pretty idealist about things including musics . I am really allergic to "k-pop boysband" ..lol</p> Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 It is not a dealbreaker for me. Everyone is different, including musical preferences. But each to their own. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Not a dealbreaker for me... But then music really isn't a big part of my life or particualy close to my heart! I'll like quite varied stuff from alternative rock bands to country. If my gf disagrees its simply a banter point. She takes the mick out of my country collection all the time! So I make sure to play it nice and loud when wherein the car together! That said, if a girl didn't share my appreciation for sport - goodbye, see you around - cause my life practically revolves around it! Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 It's not a complete deal breaker for me and actually I think I would find it pretty difficult to find someone who liked the types of music I do as not that much of it is mainstream. Bowie and Green Day are my most mainstream likes and then things go a bit off beat. The last three guys I dated barely or didn't recognise any of the artists in my music collection. Their likes included Tina Turner, Queen and Status Quo none of which I own nor ever have and I wouldn't have any urge to see any of them live. Thinking about it I don't think they even owned any of the music they liked in any format. They didn't own CD players - whereas I couldn't be without mine - I'm big on real sound quality so have to have a good CD player. My taste has always been different to that of my peers..since I became a music fan at age 3! I would happily sit by the record player (we all had them back in the 70's) at that age with massive chunky head phones on that were far to big for little me so I had to hold them in place and listen to all kinds of albums. I also love gigs and festivals and I attended almost every Glastonbury and Reading Festival over a 15 year period. I still go to gigs but go on my own these days. I prefer a smaller venue too unless it's a festival. It would be great to meet someone who liked a few of the bands I like but it's not essential. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 That said, if a girl didn't share my appreciation for sport - goodbye, see you around - cause my life practically revolves around it! Well see, that's how I feel about music. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 It's not a complete deal breaker for me and actually I think I would find it pretty difficult to find someone who liked the types of music I do as not that much of it is mainstream. Bowie and Green Day are my most mainstream likes and then things go a bit off beat. The last three guys I dated barely or didn't recognise any of the artists in my music collection. Their likes included Tina Turner, Queen and Status Quo none of which I own nor ever have and I wouldn't have any urge to see any of them live. Thinking about it I don't think they even owned any of the music they liked in any format. They didn't own CD players - whereas I couldn't be without mine - I'm big on real sound quality so have to have a good CD player. My taste has always been different to that of my peers..since I became a music fan at age 3! I would happily sit by the record player (we all had them back in the 70's) at that age with massive chunky head phones on that were far to big for little me so I had to hold them in place and listen to all kinds of albums. I also love gigs and festivals and I attended almost every Glastonbury and Reading Festival over a 15 year period. I still go to gigs but go on my own these days. I prefer a smaller venue too unless it's a festival. It would be great to meet someone who liked a few of the bands I like but it's not essential. Yer from the UK, you must have heard of the Thee Vicars... Link to post Share on other sites
Justletgo Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Although I sincerely understand your point. Because I have dealt with this same issue before (including dissimilair taste in movies). It is not a dealbreaker for me. However, i someone were a huge fan of Justin Bieber -I would be wary - 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Taste in music change with the years but in your early 20s I imagine you're just looking for a boyfriend and not the man that will father your children. If it's the case I suggest you look at his human qualities first than his taste in music. I don't care what kind of music a boyfriend listens to. I am very versatile myself in music taste. You would not expect a 48 yo lady like me to know much about heavy metal but my daughter is a huge fan of heavy metal so I spent hours listening to her music in the car so I develop a liking and some knowledge about it. I had never listened to reggae music before till I dated a Jamaican. I could have shut him down and stick to my type of music but I opened myself to his liking and really developed a liking to it. If a man would not want to open himself to what I listen to I would judge him as being a closed minded person. He's closed off on music, then next thing will be food? sex? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluesgirl Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 I definitely see everyone's point here! I guess it's just hard to be interested in someone who doesn't share the same passions as you do. Whether it be sports, music, traveling, all these things come into play when you're dating someone. I guess I need to try and be a little more open about it! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Trane Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I would honestly think it's a bit extreme but I can see your point by how passionate you are about your music. There is so much music to enjoy in this world so for me, I couldn't discriminate and cut someone out of my life because of their specific tastes. I would welcome their enthusiasm into the relationship providing she gives my music a chance to be heard. Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 One person's extreme is another's normal so I can't really comment on that end of your deal breaker. When looking for core compatibility - values, belief systems, outlook, goals, personality, passions, etc. - you can find yourself very quickly limiting your options by throwing in a narrow margin taste. You'll have to accept that you have a much smaller pool to fish from if you want to stick to your guns on this particular taste. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 So I know everyone has their deal breakers when it comes to dating and relationships but I am trying to figure out if mine is just too extreme. If a guy doesn't like the same kind of music as me I am immediately turned off. He could be the most attractive person ever but if I find out he doesn't like the kind of music I do then I am quick to disregard him. I think it's because music is such a big part of my life and I love going to concerts and festivals. Does anyone else have this deal breaker or am I the only one? The problem is the kind of music I listen to a lot of people my age (early 20's) don't listen to it. So it's hard to find a guy who is into the stuff I am. In my previous relationships I never cared too much, but I am starting to realize it's a big deal for me. Anyone else have weird deal breakers? I don't need someone to like the same music as me, of course if they do it's awesome but if not, it's not a deal breaker. But for example, I couldn't be with someone who didn't like to travel or was extremely narrow minded about food, i.e. they won't eat any food outside of traditional American fare. For me this would be a sore spot. I LOVE to travel and experience new places, cultures and that includes their cuisine, I couldn't be with someone who would rather stay at home than see the world. I've lived in the US for years but I'm not American and a lot of the foods I make are from my culture and I like cooking things from other cultures as well, when I go out to eat I also like to try different places so would feel limited and annoyed if the person I'm with was extremely picky or close minded about what food they eat. I think those two deal breakers are things that point to a larger mentality of closed-mindedness in general which is why it is a turn off for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 You know, its okay for people to date, yet have their own things. If you are quick to disregard some one perfect in any other way just because their music taste doesn't match up with yours, then you are bound to miss out on some good experiences. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Sometimes its refreshing that the other person isnt into everything I am...I think Id start to get annoyed if they just mirrored everything I do... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ivalm Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Or any guy that listens to nickleback needs to be pushed off the pier. Wait, *please don't kill me*, what's wrong with Nickleback? Can't say I am their fan but I never found them repulsive either. Link to post Share on other sites
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