Gaeta Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I have 3 active prospects at the moment. I met them all 2 times. They are all interested in seeing me again, they call almost each day and they text each day. Yet.......... We are Friday 3:30 pm and NONE of them have booked time with me for the weekend. Is it just me being out of touch with how it's done? Don't you expect a date invitation a couple of days ahead or that's just in my head!? 2 of them I was the one that set up the second date. Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 If it bothers you then make plans with guy #4 and tell them you're busy when they call last minute. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 My daughter and a friend were over last night and when I told them this they told me I expect too much. They are both big online daters as well and they said men don't make invitations 2-3 days ahead. My daughter is 27 and her sister is 35, maybe in their generation but I am 48, shouldn't men past 40 be aware of time-frame? Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I do expect a date to be set up a couple of days ahead. In fact, I prefer that the day is set up at the end of the previous date, with specific plans being made a couple of days ahead. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I also expect a date invitation 2-3 days ahead. Not a fan of last minute dates. You are not expecting too much. Make other plans for the weekend. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
venusishername Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I have 3 active prospects at the moment. I met them all 2 times. They are all interested in seeing me again, they call almost each day and they text each day. Lucky you! I think 2-3 days is appropriate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartDesires Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I'd like to know a couple of days in advance however - men operate more on spontaneity...it's always been that way Gaeta. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 I'd like to know a couple of days in advance however - men operate more on spontaneity...it's always been that way Gaeta. So finding myself a Friday night with an open agenda for the weekend, while I have 3 prospects, is not a reason yet to ditch them all? Link to post Share on other sites
HeartDesires Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 So finding myself a Friday night with an open agenda for the weekend, while I have 3 prospects, is not a reason yet to ditch them all? LOL ....no, don't ditch them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
venusishername Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 So finding myself a Friday night with an open agenda for the weekend, while I have 3 prospects, is not a reason yet to ditch them all? I'm with you! I've got ONE prospect that I'm interested in, open agenda. I'm a little miffed myself! Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Well, I have one prospect myself, day was set up last Saturday and specifics were finalized on Tuesday. I'd make other plans if I were you. I dated a last-minute guy once, turns out he wasn't into me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 One of them told me twice that he will have time for me over this coming weekend, he mentioned going to a certain restaurant but no concrete offer. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Couple of days in advance for me when dating. Once in a relationship it can be more relaxed..obviously. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Well, I have one prospect myself, day was set up last Saturday and specifics were finalized on Tuesday. I'd make other plans if I were you. I dated a last-minute guy once, turns out he wasn't into me. This ^^^ works. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 So when they bring up doing something last minute I say what? Sorry I have other things? Should I tell them it would have been better to ask me a couple of days in advance? or I drop that part? Why do I always feel I have to teach these men how to behave! Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Yeah, tell them you've already something lined up so you can't make it. But let them know that you would have preferred to spend time with them, so could they please let you know in advance. Good for you to have initiated the second dates with 2 of your prospects, but let them initiate the third. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 So when they bring up doing something last minute I say what? I would say it depends on what the offer is. "My boss just gave me two tickets to see La Boheme tonight, can you go? Box seats!" should probably elicit a different response than "Want to grab a bite to eat at McD's?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 (edited) I prefer to be asked a couple days in advance when things are new. I also like concrete plans....not "maybe this weekend" and other vague things. If there is no concrete plan I just put it out of my mind. Depending on the circumstance I don't mind being asked if something comes up, but I wouldn't want them to make it a habit and it also shows you are prioritized when they can set time for you in advance. And I definitely don't accept last minute late night invites. I had one guy in the past text me (already hate that, call me and ask me out) at 11:30pm one Saturday night about going to the movies. I wasn't going to do it regardless but I pointed out that the last movie is at 12 and therefore that made no sense, he then "cleverly" suggested we could just rent a Red Box and hang out at his place...which I'm sure was his plan ALL along. I didn't bother replying back to that message. However, since you are seeing the three of them, it's probably to be expected that they may see other women as well and that may play a role in them not making plans, as maybe they have other plans? Edited August 29, 2014 by MissBee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 So when they bring up doing something last minute I say what? Sorry I have other things? Should I tell them it would have been better to ask me a couple of days in advance? or I drop that part? Why do I always feel I have to teach these men how to behave! If you want to get the message across, and still let them know you're interested I would think a simple 'I would have LOVED to, I wish you had asked me sooner I just made plans for that evening' or something along those lines. I also like to know ahead of time and think if a guy is really interested (and not fielding other choices) he would have done this before Friday afternoon for Saturday! Unless he had a legitimate excuse like trying to work out kids' schedules or something. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 (edited) I'd like to know a couple of days in advance however - men operate more on spontaneity...it's always been that way Gaeta. Not the men I date. They are reliable and considerate or we don't date. Make other plans. If you really want to see one of them, offer Sunday afternoon for brunch. Or make plans for the next weekend with him. If he hesitates it means he wants to keep his options open for a better deal. Edited August 30, 2014 by FitChick 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 If I'd been on two dates with a guy and he didn't ask me out for the weekend without giving any reason why, I'd lose interest and drop him. A guy who's into you will definitely ask you out for the weekend in the early days, unless he's going to be out of town or busy all weekend for some reason. In that case, he'll let you know he's busy for a legitimate reason. One of them told me twice that he will have time for me over this coming weekend, he mentioned going to a certain restaurant but no concrete offer. So he's not that into you AND he's a flake. I'd drop this one like a hot potato. So when they bring up doing something last minute I say what? Sorry I have other things? Should I tell them it would have been better to ask me a couple of days in advance? or I drop that part? "I have other plans. I set my weekend plans by Wednesday at the latest, so next time ask me by Wednesday." I can pretty much guarantee you that as soon as you start passing over all these guys who aren't that into you, a guy who IS will step up. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 (edited) So when they bring up doing something last minute I say what? Sorry I have other things? Should I tell them it would have been better to ask me a couple of days in advance? or I drop that part? Why do I always feel I have to teach these men how to behave! IMO, yes, teach them how to behave...Men are only gonna do what you let them get away with and you have to let them know they can't treat you as Plan B or C. And, that way you can weed out who's actually interested in you. IMO, if a guy's really in to you, at the end of the first date or shortly after the first date they should be booking you for the next date...He should also be making plan on the weekends with you. If he's booking you for something during the week, I gather he's reserving the week for something with more priority than you. And, no last minute call ups...that screams Plan B or C, AND, that he thinks you're just sitting around waiting on him to snap his fingers for you to jump at his beck and call. Now, yes, once you're in an established RL, the rules are a little more lax. Edited August 30, 2014 by Gloria25 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Even the worst guys I dated made plans ahead of time for the weekend. If someone I'm dating doesn't make ANY plans with me for the weekend, like not even Sunday brunch......he's just not that into you. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 A friend of mine years ago was very good at manipulating men. If something like this happened she'd say "I'd love to see you this evening but I already have plans. Gosh, I wish you had called me on Wednesday or Thursday. I'm so disappointed not to see you again." No blaming or pissiness. Usually worked at eliminating booty calls and getting men who really liked her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 So I got home after work and got a call from one of them and we ended up doing something together tonight. It was a last minute thing but I am more forgiving and flexible with him. He has full custody of his 4 girls so his free time is not as easy to plan as the others. He said his eldest was home tonight and available to babysit so he could get away. This was our 3rd date. He spoke about 'next time' we see each other but not definite plan. I am not sure he can do definite plan in his case or am I being too flexible with him? because of his parental situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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