Girl i love is my boss's daughther

[Tuga]

This is my first time here, i hope someone can help me, since im kind of going down because of this one girl i like, so here goes.

Im 21 years old, i started to to work on a coffe bakery shop when i was 16, to earn myself some extra money, after first month of work i met this girl wich happened to be my boss's daughter ( she is 1 year younger than me), at that time i really had no interest on her, and i can say 100% sure she had no interest on me, as the years passed i started to get some feelings towards her, but i could never say anything since she always had boyfriend during these years(more than 1), her last boyfriend was kind of an *******, he cheated on her dailly, and i know for sure he asked her not to speak or maintain any relation towards me.

 

 

Last year she finnaly found out she was being cheatted and broke up with him, her relation with me improved instantly, but for the last year was only friendship. When i went back to work this summer(i onlly work summers and cristmas) i heard from a colleague of mine she kept speaking about me all week before i started work and how she missed me, after i began to work she began to treat me so nice and started to flirt with me, i even tought she could not be the same person as before, also her father(my boss) keeps playing around with saying he wants me for her daughter (future commitment) he always says this kinda of stuff when are at lunch time with all staff hearing and she always laughs when he says this and sometimes she even says yes to that.

 

Despite all of this she sometime changes, almost like she reverts back to years ago, there were some days she completly ignores me and begins to flirt with another of the house employees wich is years younger than me, i think she does this only to mess around with me, some days ago she deliberatly came next to me to chat about her "supposed" boyfriend with another employee (and i know for sure she currently does not have a boyfriend).

 

She stoped working a week ago, because she needs to study for some exams, still she visits the cofee shop every single day, some days she complettly ignores me, other days she only pays attention to me.

 

She is very pretty and nice when she wants to and i know she wont be lacking a boyfriend forever, so i need to make my move fast, i gathering up some courage to invite her for a coffee outside of the place where me and her work, the thing is i really like my work aswell and i fear that if i make my move and she doesnt feel the same i might ruin the job i worked so hard to get at her father's place.

Next week i stop my work aswell and i plan to call her to invite her for coffee, and to talk about us, and what she thinks about making our relationship more than just friends.

 

I would really apreciate some advice on this

 

Also sorry for some crappy english i might have wrote, its not my native language so...

Edited August 24, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[DazedandConfused8]

You both work at a coffee shop and you're going to invite her for coffee? Can't you do something a little more creative? A pub? Restaurant?

 

I'd say just go for it. Tell her how you feel. One thing's for sure: do not bring up her dad "wanting" you to be with her, as that will only scare her away/make it seem like she's being pressured by her family to be with you.

[Tuga]

The coffee is just an excuse to talk to her outside of her father's place because we are always under pressure by other employees and her father, i want to take her out of there to see how she will reac outside of that enviroment, also im a different person outside of my workplace(i take my work very seriouslly) and i want to show her how much better i can be out of that place

[DazedandConfused8]

The coffee is just an excuse to talk to her outside of her father's place because we are always under pressure by other employees and her father, i want to take her out of there to see how she will reac outside of that enviroment, also im a different person outside of my workplace(i take my work very seriouslly) and i want to show her how much better i can be out of that place

 

Even more reason to avoid coffee places Go try a new pub in town. Check out a microbrewery. Go to a food truck festival. Just avoid coffee shops when you both work at one!

[carhill]

Since the coffee shop isn't your goal in life, presumably, my advice is to ask her out on a clear date, not slide into it, and accept the results. If she doesn't want to date you, and working with her becomes uncomfortable, well it's her family's coffee shop. Same if she does want to date you but the timing isn't right for her dad. It's his coffee shop.

 

With life's opportunities comes risk. If you feel the risk of a future with her is worth the downside, then take the risk. If not, get over your feelings for her and ask another girl out. That's probably a good idea anyway. At your age, dating young ladies should be part of life, at least some others.

 

Is your culture one where marriages are arranged?

[Tuga]

No its not, im european (West), but i still plan to work at least 2 more years at that coffee/bakery, its the time i still have to finish my studies.

And i didnt want to jeopardize my work if this relation fails.

I just cant seems to understand her, she seems a lot into me somedays, and other times she complettly ignores, and i belive she deliberatly tryes to make me jealous by speaking about other guys near me.

[Tuga]

Since the coffee shop isn't your goal in life, presumably, my advice is to ask her out on a clear date, not slide into it, and accept the results. If she doesn't want to date you, and working with her becomes uncomfortable, well it's her family's coffee shop. Same if she does want to date you but the timing isn't right for her dad. It's his coffee shop.

 

With life's opportunities comes risk. If you feel the risk of a future with her is worth the downside, then take the risk. If not, get over your feelings for her and ask another girl out. That's probably a good idea anyway. At your age, dating young ladies should be part of life, at least some others.

 

Is your culture one where marriages are arranged?

 

I know other girls but none seems to awaken this much interest on me, there are some i am atracted to physically but thats it, i would only picture it as a 1 night thing, not something worth building a relation on, this is one is just different, its not just physical.

[Tuga]

Also forgot to mention maybe its not really that much important, during this summer she asked my to fix her computer, and a couple weeks later she reminded me of that again (like i would forget doing something nice for her xD)

Could it be an excuse for her to get in touch with me after work, should i maybe wait a few days after i finish work to see if she reaches to me, and maybe give a little more hint about what she wants of me, or should i make my move as soon as im donne working?

[DazedandConfused8]

I just cant seems to understand her, she seems a lot into me somedays, and other times she complettly ignores, and i belive she deliberatly tryes to make me jealous by speaking about other guys near me.

 

You yourself said you're a different person at work. Maybe she's the same way

[DazedandConfused8]

Also forgot to mention maybe its not really that much important, during this summer she asked my to fix her computer, and a couple weeks later she reminded me of that again (like i would forget doing something nice for her xD)

Could it be an excuse for her to get in touch with me after work, should i maybe wait a few days after i finish work to see if she reaches to me, and maybe give a little more hint about what she wants of me, or should i make my move as soon as im donne working?

 

This is perfect: go make a date at her place out of fixing her computer. Order in some food, fix the computer, and maybe watch a movie or something after.

 

I've had a few women ask me to work on their resumes (because I work in HR) and it was a great way to spend some time talking to them and getting to know them.

[Tuga]

What if she never touches that matter again? Should i insist and the move myself?

If she does speak about that again after im donne working, then maybe she really is into me ...or she just wants her computer fixed ...

You say i should wait a while longer then? i still have 1 more week or work ahead , and she will probably keep visiting there everything, will be giving dailly new here about anything she might say during this week.

Its my day off tommorow so i dont expect any interesting to happen, unless i happen to bump into her, when i go to my boss's coffee after lunch for coffee, then it would be interesting, maybe i could try to snag her aways with me at that time xD

[DazedandConfused8]

What if she never touches that matter again? Should i insist and the move myself?

 

"Touches" what "matter"? She's asked you at least twice now to fix her computer. Take her up on the offer already!

 

You say i should wait a while longer then?

 

Who told you to wait longer?!

[Supernatural]

You yourself said you're a different person at work. Maybe she's the same way

 

I agree.

 

My initial advice was something like this. I wouldn't ask her on a date so fast. As if she says no it could get awwwwkward for you at work. Especially if you still want to work there for 2 more years and have a good rapport with her father. Play this longer term; don't rush.

 

I would hangout with her 1 on 1, but in casual ways. Never say "lets go for a date". Just keep it chill always; for now. Even if friends are there with you... You can still create flirts with her.

 

"There's this band coming to the city, If you like them, you should tag along."

"I'm thinking of seeing that new movie. Join me."

"I heard this place up the street has some killer donairs. Want to go get one at break?"

 

Then when you guys are together.. Let it naturally flow and feel out if she actually is in to you.

[Tuga]

I already said i would fix it, both times, im just waiting for confirmation on her behalf, im not gonna show up at her doorstep some day and be like "here i am to fix your computer xD". Im kinda waiting for her to set up some day and hour for me to go fix it, what i mean was, WHAT IF SHE DOESNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE COMPUTER AGAIN" (intentional caps lock, but no for yelling, just making a point xD) should i remind her of it, or should i forget about the computer and ask her out?

[Tuga]

I agree.

 

My initial advice was something like this. I wouldn't ask her on a date so fast. As if she says no it could get awwwwkward for you at work. Especially if you still want to work there for 2 more years and have a good rapport with her father. Play this longer term; don't rush.

 

I would hangout with her 1 on 1, but in casual ways. Never say "lets go for a date". Just keep it chill always; for now. Even if friends are there with you... You can still create flirts with her.

 

"There's this band coming to the city, If you like them, you should tag along."

"I'm thinking of seeing that new movie. Join me."

"I heard this place up the street has some killer donairs. Want to go get one at break?"

 

Then when you guys are together.. Let it naturally flow and feel out if she actually is in to you.

 

I wish there was that much activitty around here, that would sure give me enough reasons to invite her to something, but its a very small town and nothing interesting to do or see really, wich makes it hard to set out a date, that why i only mentioned inviting her to a coffee "outside her coffee xD"

[Dork Vader]

You need to ask her out on a clear date.

 

 

When you do it you need to be confident and strong. It's okay if you're a little nervous..

 

 

Don't say any crap like "I'd like to take you out as a friends" Friends is NOT your goal.

 

 

I agree with others stay the hell away from Coffee! If alcohol is not okay then do something else.. But Coffee and bakeries are completely off limits. That's like asking a woman that owns a dry cleaners out on a date to do laundry!!

[Supernatural]

"I was going to go play nicky nicky nine doors later... Join me"

"There's a new flavor of slurpee at the gas station.. Let's go grab one"

"I was going to go cow tipping tonight... Let's do it."

[preraph]

Well, if the dad's onboard, then go to him since your job is going to be on the line if it goes bad, and ask him how he'd really feel if you asked out his daughter. It might work out great. Might be worth the risk.

[loveboid]

I think you need to ask her out on a date. It doesn't have to be awkward if she turns your offer down.

 

I would go in with the mindset that if she says yes, great. If she says no, great.

 

That's how ya do it! With this attitude you will go in smiling, and she will smile back. No awkwardness either way.

 

Unless of course you value your job more than a relationship with her at this time. Then just keep it to yourself and keep working with your head down.

[Shepp]

I already said i would fix it, both times, im just waiting for confirmation on her behalf, im not gonna show up at her doorstep some day and be like "here i am to fix your computer xD". Im kinda waiting for her to set up some day and hour for me to go fix it, what i mean was, WHAT IF SHE DOESNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE COMPUTER AGAIN" (intentional caps lock, but no for yelling, just making a point xD) should i remind her of it, or should i forget about the computer and ask her out?

 

Who says [3rd time] "can you come and fix my computer!". Especially not "can you come and fix my computer @7.00 on Tuesday the 26th" - your doing her a favour your not a handy man! The poliet thing is to wait for you to offer.

 

Text her, or ask her at work "Hey, sorry its taken this long to get round to it hows this thursday to fix you pc?"

 

 

So many of lifes little issues could be solved by proper communication between the relevant parties.

[Tuga]

I guess ill wait till the end of this week to see if she ask me about fixing her computer again or gives me any more hints about if shes interested or not.

If by the end of the week she doesnt do any, im asking her out, and its how Loveboid said, if she says yes great, if she says no...well at least then i can forget about her and move on without any regrets of what i might or might not have donne.

Thx for the help. Feel free to give any other advices, all help is apreciated, will keeps posting news here wheather good or bad.

[O'Malley]

If I ask an acquaintance for assistance in fixing something in his/her free time, I'll either offer to pay them, treat them to lunch, or help them with a project. Has she offered any of that?

 

It doesn't seem like she's really into you; more that she likes to flirt and enjoys the attention that some of her father's employees give her. If you still think she's worth the trouble, you can always casually ask her to grab a bite to eat with you after your shift. If she says yes, great! Any response other than a yes and a set date and time means that you're reading too much into it.

Edited August 25, 2014 by O'Malley

[Tuga]

No she hasnt offered anything for repairing the computer, at least yet (havent fixed it yet, will probably only do it next week after i finish my job).

[Tuga]

She does like to have attention, there were a couple of times when she was like ignoring me, i decided to do the same to see how her reaction was, in that same day or the day after she did the exact opposite, she directed all of her attention to me untill i stopped "ignoring" her.

Could it be she is playing hard to get, or as you said just flirting around looking for attention but nothing serious... starting to get a little doubtfull now.

[Tuga]

This happened today, i was at work as usual, when she showed up in the afternoon, using these white heels wich made as near as tall as me, a miniskirt and a very sexy top, (i belive this was strictly for teasing) i was working at the kitchen wich has only 1 entry, she comes from behind me and says " hi love" i great her back same way with both of us having big smiles, we have a little chat, and then she goes out.

After a few minutes i go down the stairs to go get some kitchen ingredients at the garage, she was just leaving with her father, when they saw me they reverse the car a few meters just enough to see me inside the garage, then i dunno if it was her or her father, hit the car horn a couple times, just to get my attention, they stoped when i finnally looked back at them, they both smiled and then left.

 

Later today i asked her cousin wich is also working at the cofee shop in summer vacations to come near me as i wanted to speak to her, i said i wanted what i was about to say a secret and asked her what she tought about me asking her cousin out and what her reaction would be, she gave a big smile at me and said " I dont know, she is kind of unpredictable she tends to change moods quite fast, and its gonna be tricky but you should give it a try, you've got nothing to loose".

 

Any coments on this?

 

As said here before i will tryu to keep her out of cofee shops, instead since the weather has improved a bit this week, i will try to casually invite her to come to the beach with me, and see about her reaction.

 

Am i doing the right thing?