Rexxy Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Ok this is the first time I've been left kind of confused as to whether I just went on a date or a casual dinner outing. I invited this girl out for dinner who was showing quite a lot of interest in me at uni but also seemed to mention her (ex-boyfriend/now friend) quite a bit who is also a family friend but I still asked her out. The dinner was one on one and went smoothly, we got along easily and had no trouble keeping the conversation going. We stayed there for about 45 mins which was perfect in my opinion because it didn't drag on and felt about right. When the waiter asked if we were splitting the bill before I could even say a word she said "splitting it" and I was a bit surprised. But at then end when I walked her to her car it seemed as if it wasn't a date because she wasn't hesitant about unlocking her car and opening the door, i walked up to her and gave her a hug but she seemed like she wasn't ready for even a hug and sorta put one around awkwardly like she wasn't expecting it. After that she said "I'll see you on monday when we have to get up nice and early haha" and I said "cya", I'm use to girls saying something like "I had a really nice time" and they usually hold out a conversation before leaving. I'm not sure if she's kinda of shy in that department or I'm just not use to a girl like this and have to take things a lot slower. Also when I asked her out she seemed really excited about it and she was looking forward to it, etc Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 i am not sure ..it was a 45 minute date.....that included a dinner........but one true tell....is if she accepts a second date...first dates are always slightly awkward when they end ...careful is another way to put it..........it does get easier...;0)..you just get to know each others communication styles and it gets easier to read if they have a good time or not...even without expressing it.......good luck....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 i am not sure ..it was a 45 minute date.....that included a dinner........but one true tell....is if she accepts a second date...first dates are always slightly awkward when they end ...careful is another way to put it..........it does get easier...;0)..you just get to know each others communication styles and it gets easier to read if they have a good time or not...even without expressing it.......good luck....deb Yeah we actually planned a different 'first date' for the day but she was busy during the day and we organised to do it next weekend. Then she said that she was free at night this weekend and we organised the dinner. So we already have something planned for next week even before the first date at dinner. If that makes sense to you. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Yeah we actually planned a different 'first date' for the day but she was busy during the day and we organised to do it next weekend. Then she said that she was free at night this weekend and we organised the dinner. So we already have something planned for next week even before the first date at dinner. If that makes sense to you. crystal clear...... she likes you....she didnt want to wait until next weekend to see you ...just relax seems like everything is peachy...smilin....have fun next weekend....deb Link to post Share on other sites
HeartDesires Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 You asked her out for dinner, right?.....I don't know, something about splitting the bill disturbs me. After dinner did she mention she was looking forward to going out again next week? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 You asked her out for dinner, right?.....I don't know, something about splitting the bill disturbs me. After dinner did she mention she was looking forward to going out again next week? No she didn't mention that. She just mentioned that she'll see me on monday at uni. I think I'll just ask her politely on monday whether its was just hanging out or a date, we get a long enough for me to ask that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jet8419 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Is she usually a shy person? Because her behaviour is exactly like mine (and now I'm wondering if I confused the guy) and I'm usually a bit withdrawn with the guy I like. Since she's accepted the 2nd date, I'm sure she likes spending time with you - she just needs time to warm up to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Do not ask her if it was a date. It was a date. You asked her to spend time with you & she said yes. Her paying the check was her showing you that she's independent & doesn't expect you to take care of her. Her behavior at the car may have been a desire to avoid a good night kiss she wasn't ready for. It was still a date. It might not have been the best date but it was a date nonetheless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Is she usually a shy person? Because her behaviour is exactly like mine (and now I'm wondering if I confused the guy) and I'm usually a bit withdrawn with the guy I like. Since she's accepted the 2nd date, I'm sure she likes spending time with you - she just needs time to warm up to you. Well I've only known her for about 3 weeks and I didn't talk to her until it happen to be just the two of us on an excursion a few days ago for uni by chance. And to be honest I don't think we would of ever had a conversation or gone out if it weren't for the chance of it just been her and I on the excursion to get to know each other. I'm quite introverted so if she had any other friend there I probably wouldn't of said a word or talked to her. So even though I don't know her to well I would say she is kind of shy compared to the usual girls I meet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Do not ask her if it was a date. It was a date. You asked her to spend time with you & she said yes. Her paying the check was her showing you that she's independent & doesn't expect you to take care of her. Her behavior at the car may have been a desire to avoid a good night kiss she wasn't ready for. It was still a date. It might not have been the best date but it was a date nonetheless. Ok I won't ask her if it was a date and I'll just see how it plays out during the next week as to whether she still wants to go out next weekend and how she reacts to me at uni. I'll play it cool. Thanks, I'll let you know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Call me old-fashioned, but it's kind of disturbing (no offense) when one has to STILL decipher whether the activity you went on was an actual DATE or not....esp. in hind sight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Call me old-fashioned, but it's kind of disturbing (no offense) when one has to STILL decipher whether the activity you went on was an actual DATE or not....esp. in hind sight. Well I can usually tell when its date but this is the first time where its left me wondering. Even by reading what I wrote it screams "DATE" but it just didn't have that feeling to it that I'm used too. I guess I'm not accustomed to going this slow with a girl even for the first date. I wasn't even nervous at all before the night which is very strange for me, usually my heart would start beating quicker towards the date but I was completely fine and comfortable like I was meeting up with a family member. Was weird. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Well I can usually tell when its date but this is the first time where its left me wondering. As much as I liked & lusted him, after my 1st "date" with my husband, I was depressed because it felt like a business meeting not a date. I actually left the restaurant parking lot, drove to a local bar & cried on the shoulder of a good guy friend who assured me that I was an idiot & it was a date. To that guy's credit he waited until the middle of our wedding reception to say "I told you so". I laughed so hard I almost cried because he'd kept that in for a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 As much as I liked & lusted him, after my 1st "date" with my husband, I was depressed because it felt like a business meeting not a date. I actually left the restaurant parking lot, drove to a local bar & cried on the shoulder of a good guy friend who assured me that I was an idiot & it was a date. To that guy's credit he waited until the middle of our wedding reception to say "I told you so". I laughed so hard I almost cried because he'd kept that in for a long time. I'm rather curious as to why you didn't decide to move on from your now husband? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rexxy Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 As much as I liked & lusted him, after my 1st "date" with my husband, I was depressed because it felt like a business meeting not a date. I actually left the restaurant parking lot, drove to a local bar & cried on the shoulder of a good guy friend who assured me that I was an idiot & it was a date. To that guy's credit he waited until the middle of our wedding reception to say "I told you so". I laughed so hard I almost cried because he'd kept that in for a long time. Incredible story! Well I'll call it a date for now and see where it leads. And you're about to hit 7000 posts, nice work! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I'm rather curious as to why you didn't decide to move on from your now husband? It was one date. I assumed I was reading the signals wrong, especially after my chat with my friend & I really thought he was gorgeous & a nice guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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