my gf who I live with cheated

[sc4545]

Well I dated this girl over 3 years ago for a year was great but at that point we needed to go separate ways because things came up in our lives and my career put me in a different county for 3 years was hardest thing for me to get over.

 

After 3 years with no communication I returned home and we saw each other and got back together/

 

Its been a year now and was bumpy at first but we worked through it and 2 months ago moved 2 hours away to a new town to start a life/ she got a job and I continued mine which is online so I'm at home she is going back to school but got a job in a bar for time being. Few days ago I found out the past week she was with another guy someone she met here during this week she literally out of no where shut me out wouldn't talk to me and was gone several nights I knew something was up she said its over she can't take it anymore but 2 days prior was telling me how much she loved our life/ I was confused. And hurt. Well now the truth came out and she was with a guy for dinner twice and she admitted to sleeping with him twice one night I saw her at bar and she was extremely drunk that was the second night she slept with him. Well the next morning she came home ignored me as usual I left drove n sat in my truck wondering what to do... 2 hours later she texted me after not responding to any texts all week. Few back n forth then somehow she agreed to go for lunch she then admitted what she had done/ she said if its easier we can part ways and she has been unhapy saying she felt ignored because I'm always working and said she wants more and I haven't wanted to do anything lately which is somewhat true I have been occupied/ anyways now she has said she wants to work through it she has also said we can move to a different town she even said I can cheat on her to make it even or if its to much for me we can split/ I want to make it work... I love her to much to leave and yes it's only 3 days I can't for one second stop thinking about her with this guy.. And why she did it. The fact she wants to move away so we have have to run into this guy obv is a lot ... But assuming we won't move for at least a month and this guy does frequent the bar she works at. I keep bringing questions about it up and she tells Me to stop talking about... In a very tough situation any thoughts would help thanks

[LostOnes05]

She cheated bro...she's outta there. Break up with her! She violated your trust. If she felt a certain way, she should have brought it to your attention so that you could work on it together. Cheating only complicated the situation. You should keep a vivid picture of this guy with your girlfriend...it will help you leave her. She is not worth your time honestly. Think about it...while you're working or waiting up for her, she is sleeping with someone else and then says "I want attention". She will continue to make you believe it is your fault she slept with someone else. You gotta cut the cord and not look back. I'd also get tested as well...no telling what she might have brought home. If you're still struggling with the advice I gave you, think about this...a dog ****s on your doorstep on Monday...you step in it. You forgive and forget and the next day you step in dog **** again. Wednesday morning a friend calls to tell you that there is **** on your doorstep...who's fault is it this time if you step in it?

[54JA]

I has only been 3 days since you found out. You are still processing what happened and trying to sort your feelings out. Most likely, your feelings will fluctuate; one day you love her so much, but the next day you are so angry you think your head's gonna explode. Please take your time to decide. It's OK if you tell her you need more time to think.

[Supernatural]

I would never do anything crazy to a girlfriend for cheating. I would simply know that, that is her character and move on. I respect myself more than to stick around.

I know one day it all comes back around.

 

 

Although, a person who cheats for any reason deserves to go to the Grand Canyon on a beautiful day.

 

Upon arriving at the Canyon, they step out of their vehicle in to the gorgeous sun and the rays dance on their supple skin. They begin to slowly walk to the side, where there is no guard rail. A picture perfect view. The highest spot on the top.

As they approach the side and ready their camera, there happens to be a rock, small and a little bulky. And underneath that rock is another one - a perfect skipping rock, slim and long - and the way the rocks are stacked upon each other it creates an uneven surface, and almost slippery in a way.

 

As they step on the stacked two rocks which are quite small; it slides. As it slides that person rolls their ankle and is thrown off balance and twists their body, throwing them off completely; spinning out of control towards the edge.

 

No one is around and they can't stop their momentum. Their pulse is pumping and heart is in their throat. In a flash one leg slides off the side, and their whole body fighting to gain back control. They can't and they begin to fall.

They fall off the side of the highest point on the cliff. Plummeting all the way down. Hitting every sharp, jagged, hard rock, on the way.

 

By the time they hit the bottom, their body feels like a water balloon which is slowly losing water. Bones; all broken. Blood; painted on the canyon walls. Oh; and when they finally reach the bottom.. They are still alive. Looking up at that sun which is still dancing on their opened skin; whats left. And as they lay there at the bottom, seeing the hungry vultures circling above. They realize that they slipped on two rocks. And come to the conclusion that those two rocks once represented something great they once had.

 

Karma. Hurt someone one way. It will hurt you in another.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I'm not on the bandwagon that cheating is one of the most vile things that can be done on planet earth just because of what it would mean or feel like for me although I understand how hurtful the act can be, to me it's just a sign of other deeper issues...within the person and within the relationship to a degree, but to a larger extent, cheating can have nothing to do with the other person.

 

I don't think this relationship was ever meant to go the distance, It sounds like you just took this all too fast the first time around and she happened to be available when you came back to the country and you tried to pick up where you left off....but it doesn't work that way, this probably should have stayed a whirlwind romance, ultimately I think you're more interested in her than she is you and she recognized that as well..but chances are high she's always had some self-destructive ways about her, and something about that attracts you to her.

 

Without going into all these details, I think you need to take a step back and try to think a bit more clearly about all of this...you need to stop fantasizing, idealizing and seeing this relationship or whatever it is as what you want it to be or hope it could be, because you're really wasting your own time. Stop trying to force your emotions here so that you manipulate yourself into pursuing this even further, be more intelligent and wise about it (I know that's asking a lot) but it's the right thing to do.

 

She's going to be wrapped into this other guy now emotionally, and she's either not in-love with you anymore or never was, her feelings are open to another man...this isn't about one drunken night or even two, I can just about guarantee she will still be in contact with this guy...she's not happy in this relationship and feels like she's missing something, she was probably in the relationship in large part because of what you offered her in terms of stability and potential, since now you have a steady job and maybe a career which gives you potential in her eyes.

 

The harder you try to fight this the more it's going to hurt and the harder the struggle...you're going to flop back from this love/hate relationship with her and ultimately you'll keep asking questions that never have an answer good enough to satiate your emotional desperation.

 

You've got to pull your head out of your butt and see the writing on the wall, because the faster you pull out of this relationship and move on the faster things can get back to normal, this is not the end of the road, but your personal issues and emotions are going to drag you along with this relationship if you try to continue it...it's not "love" as much as you think it is, you might have a fear of abandonment, you might fear being alone, you might fear finding someone else like "her", these emotions will just essentially trigger you into a downward spiral and nothing is going to be able to satisfy you or quell that anxiety...furthermore I think she's over this relationship but doesn't know how to get out...if she does find a way out on her own eventually, she will likely be the one who leaves you in the end anyway.

 

Think about what you're doing real hard, because I'm telling you right now, anything but getting out of this relationship will be a sore regret...your hopes and fantasies will never come true here.