iDrumKing Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I've been out of the dating scene for several months now. So with classes starting back up, I've seen a fair amount of girls that I'm very interested in. So for some background on me. I won't lie, I'm typically an introvert. I've NEVER "spit game" when it comes to girls. With so many thing that have happened this year, my outlooked really changed in terms of caring about rejection. So I thought to myself... what the heck not? Got in class and sat next the a girl who I found attractive. Instead of trying to act all tough, cool, and masculine (Like I always did in the past) I just acted like myself. Instead of getting caught up of thinking about cool and funny things to say, I just said whatever came to mind. When all was said in done, I got her number after class and have a date with her next Friday. After a late night phone call, she told me that she never has a men approaching her and that was a very attractive to her. Well... without being vulgar or having a hidden agenda. It sucks that I couldn't grasp this concept a lot earlier. Sorry this wasn't a question, but more of a sigh of relieve. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Hey, good for you! I think your approach will be refreshing for the girls, as well. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Its good. Just keep on being yourself, stay centered and you should be golden. Update us on the date 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I've been out of the dating scene for several months now... Why are you picking up women if you're with someone? Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Why are you picking up women if you're with someone? Where did he say or imply he was with someone? I, like most readers just assumed he hasn't been actively dating prior to meeting this new interest 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Good work! Being yourself, being just friendly and willing to just talk about the simple things. So many people find that so difficult. So do you find it got easier with practice? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Good work! Being yourself, being just friendly and willing to just talk about the simple things. So many people find that so difficult. So do you find it got easier with practice? Absolutely! I guess I just got to the point where I just stopped caring about rejection. Some people vibe, some people don't vibe. That's okay. Of course I was a bit nervous, but knowing that if I "tried too hard" I'd be walking away criticizing myself on the things I did and said. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Why are you picking up women if you're with someone? I'm not with anyone... Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Why are you picking up women if you're with someone? ....Dr.Phil is Dazed and confused... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Why are you picking up women if you're with someone? I've been out of the dating scene for several months now. So with classes starting back up, I've seen a fair amount of girls that I'm very interested in. So for some background on me. I won't lie, I'm typically an introvert. I've NEVER "spit game" when it comes to girls. With so many thing that have happened this year, my outlooked really changed in terms of caring about rejection. So I thought to myself... what the heck not? Got in class and sat next the a girl who I found attractive. Instead of trying to act all tough, cool, and masculine (Like I always did in the past) I just acted like myself. Instead of getting caught up of thinking about cool and funny things to say, I just said whatever came to mind. When all was said in done, I got her number after class and have a date with her next Friday. After a late night phone call, she told me that she never has a men approaching her and that was a very attractive to her. Well... without being vulgar or having a hidden agenda. It sucks that I couldn't grasp this concept a lot earlier. Sorry this wasn't a question, but more of a sigh of relieve. This is good to hear. So many times, moment's will pass me by, because I'm too busy trying to think of something funny or cool to say... *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 This is good to hear. So many times, moment's will pass me by, because I'm too busy trying to think of something funny or cool to say... *sigh* It's all good. Personally I think that most of the time when guys (like myself) say they aren't good with women, they actually have poor conversation skills. You know when you're at work, school, or around your family; you tailor/filter what you say and you do. There are things that I say to my friends that I would never say to my family. Vice versa. So when it came to women, I subconsciously turned on a filter that I never worked with. I tried to look for funny and witty things to say, but by doing so I sat there in silence. So you just gotta say whatever you wanna say sometimes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 It's all good. Personally I think that most of the time when guys (like myself) say they aren't good with women, they actually have poor conversation skills. You know when you're at work, school, or around your family; you tailor/filter what you say and you do. There are things that I say to my friends that I would never say to my family. Vice versa. So when it came to women, I subconsciously turned on a filter that I never worked with. I tried to look for funny and witty things to say, but by doing so I sat there in silence. So you just gotta say whatever you wanna say sometimes. I agree. It comes down to taking the woman OFF the pedestal and not trying to impress her with your wits and words. I don't know how it started that us men started placing so much pressure on ourselves that funny or cool words were needed. When in reality; you can say pretty much anything. Just open your mouth.... Don't say that last part though... That was advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrSimple Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Every hear the expression "Be yourself."? It couldn't be more true. If a person doesn't like you for who you are unfiltered, then they are not a good match for you anyway! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Where did he say or imply he was with someone? I, like most readers just assumed he hasn't been actively dating prior to meeting this new interest Being "off" or "out of" the dating scene implies that he's taken. You're not out of the dating scene just because you're not "actively" dating (whatever that means). Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 A man who's man enough to approach me immediately stands head & shoulders above the rest. Confidence is so beautiful. I can really respect a man with the guts to go after what he wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Being "off" or "out of" the dating scene implies that he's taken. You're not out of the dating scene just because you're not "actively" dating (whatever that means). Yes, you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Being "off" or "out of" the dating scene implies that he's taken. You're not out of the dating scene just because you're not "actively" dating (whatever that means). Haha. Okay well if you want clarification, I'm NOT seeing anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 So there is a concert going on in the city next week and I thought that this would be a good chance to take this new girl out too. It's going to be a very LARGE concert at that. Would this be a good time to vibe? I was trying to think outside the box of "dinner & movie" Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 So there is a concert going on in the city next week and I thought that this would be a good chance to take this new girl out too. It's going to be a very LARGE concert at that. Would this be a good time to vibe? I was trying to think outside the box of "dinner & movie" Don't spend too much money. But ya, concerts can be good times for sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 So there is a concert going on in the city next week and I thought that this would be a good chance to take this new girl out too. It's going to be a very LARGE concert at that. Would this be a good time to vibe? I was trying to think outside the box of "dinner & movie" Outside the box, you're getting it . However do consider a setting in which you can actually talk and get to know each other as well. Good luck sir! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 Outside the box, you're getting it . However do consider a setting in which you can actually talk and get to know each other as well. Good luck sir! Thank you I guess that's where my concern was at. With concerts being loud, obviously, I wanted to ensure that we could have some time to sit down and just talk in peace. Maybe some ice cream on the way home? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Thank you I guess that's where my concern was at. With concerts being loud, obviously, I wanted to ensure that we could have some time to sit down and just talk in peace. Maybe some ice cream on the way home? There ya go. Especially if you are very vocal, and your strength is in your personality, rather than "peacocking", moments of communicating are important. It is a type of sharing you can do during those moments, and that isn't quite possible at just a concert or a movie. It add substance, if you will. We will be cheering you on!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Nice job, OP. Dating and general interactions with the opposite sex become quite easy and natural when you don't get in your own way. Your anecdote is a great example of this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Just goes to show that the less you think and the more you actually try (physically, in the real world, not in your head) the more you get. Analysis and scripting are absolutely deadly to a man's chances. There can be no daydreaming, no fantasizing, no playing over what to say, how to say it or how to impress her. Zero emotional investment at the very outset. You have to genuinely not care before you start to genuinely care. Very glad you've made a breakthrough! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts