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Being lied to about age!?


Gaeta

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Quick background story. We met last year on OKcupid. On his profile it said 99 y/o. We spoke a bit and he told me he was 38.

 

We met a few times and we were intimate. Then we had bedroom incident that scared the heck out of him and he faded away.

 

One year later he gets in touch with me. Apologizes, says he was in a bad place last year, the incident threw him off, and he'd like to see me again.

 

I thought....hhmm yeah sure why not. So we've been spending a little bit of time together, no sex.

 

A couple of days ago he decided to tell me that he's not 38...he's 28 !!

 

Talk about being pushed off a cliff !!

 

Of course I made a scene !! He doesn't see the big deal, he says I liked him when I thought he was 38 so why now I don't like him anymore.

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Because he is a liar.

 

Is he also lying about not being married, being free from STDs and having a steady job? Can you ever believe another word he says?

 

Next...

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And I am the most normal person you'll ever come across. I don't know why so many weirdos navigate around me.

 

Are you the one who dated hundreds of guys from OLD?

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Are you the one who dated hundreds of guys from OLD?

 

Well not 'hundreds' and not 'dated'.

 

I met for coffee a little above 100 men in the past 3 years.

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deathandtaxes
Are you the one who dated hundreds of guys from OLD?

 

 

 

Gaeta has dated plenty and shares with us her not so pleasant experiences.

 

 

Gaeta - I'll say thanks for you sharing your experiences with us. It's very insightful. Please don't stop. Now on to your post...

 

 

Wow. Lying about age is one of the cardinal sins of OLD. If somebody is willing to lie about age, what other fuzzy morals might they have?

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Forgot the last part.

 

So after he told me his age and I had my scene, I left. He said then that he was just messing with me and he just turned 39. I asked to see his ID, he said they were not on him.

 

He is off Mon-Tue-Wed and wants to do something. I said if I EVER see him again I want to see his ID. He said no.

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Yes I have a lot of stupid stories and I meet all kinds of weirdos but I think I handle it well. I don't hang on long on those, I move to next fast, and I certainly don't have my feelings hurt over them.

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Are you the one who dated hundreds of guys from OLD?

 

I think you mean me...

 

And - to Gaeta's defense - when I was working the OLD lifestyle, I had equally as many weirdos.

 

I got catfished more than once, stalked, assaulted, and lied to repeatedly.

 

I commend Gaeta for not giving up! :love:

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Forgot the last part.

 

So after he told me his age and I had my scene, I left. He said then that he was just messing with me and he just turned 39. I asked to see his ID, he said they were not on him.

 

He is off Mon-Tue-Wed and wants to do something. I said if I EVER see him again I want to see his ID. He said no.

 

I think he is 28 but because you made a big scene ( understandably because he lied ) he is now trying to make you believe he is older.

what would you do in case he will refuse to show you the ID?

maybe he lied because he thought that knowing his true age you wouldnt date him.

aside the lie ( which i can understand can be a deal breaker ) do you like him? would you see him as a possible partner? :)

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fortyninethousand322

I don't know, I created a profile once (since deleted) which listed my age as 35 (when I was then 24). I got a lot more responses then I did as a 24 year old. Some people do not believe me when I tell them I'm 26, they think I'm lying. I suppose some women who see my profile think I'm lying about my age which is why I decided to see what would happen if I told people I was older.

 

So I can see why someone might lie to make themselves older. Or in the case of Danny Almonte or Miguel Tejada, younger.

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I think he is 28 but because you made a big scene ( understandably because he lied ) he is now trying to make you believe he is older.

what would you do in case he will refuse to show you the ID?

maybe he lied because he thought that knowing his true age you wouldnt date him.

aside the lie ( which i can understand can be a deal breaker ) do you like him? would you see him as a possible partner? :)

 

I also think he is 28.

 

If he doesn't show me his ID it means he may be younger?

 

For sure he lied so I'd meet him. I already had some hesitation of him being 38, being 28 would have been a definite no. Did you notice I am 48.

 

I like him but for superficial reasons like he's cool & hot. I don't know him enough to 'like him' for the right reasons.

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The only thing he had going for him after that lie was at least he came clean on his own. Unlike other liars who have to get threatened, and they get engaged to people lying about who they are. But then he's gone and wiped that away by acting like a immature jerk after he came clean. How could you ever trust anything he says?

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The first turnoff would have been the 99 yo thing. And then hearing that he's 28, not 38. And then hearing that, no, he's 38, but isn't going to prove it to you.

 

I'm 39 myself and I don't have time for such juvenile antics. He sounds more like he's 15.

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Gaeta, those jerks you've been dating didn't lie about their ages. That must mean they weren't jerks!

 

Not specifically directed at Gaeta: Why is it the ones who protest people hiding their age are the ones who lie about how many sex partners they've had, how much money they make or what type of relationship they are looking for? Much more important in the world of dating. I've dated enough men who told me their real age yet lied about all of the above and more. Some of you are very naive.

 

I don't see it as a problem unless he said he wanted kids. You both enjoy each others company. If you had met at a social function, would you have asked him his age right away? That would be rude. Would you be happier if he were really 99 as originally stated on his profile? Susan Sarandon and her boyfriend have been together for years and she is a good 30+ years older.

 

More important-- does he have a good job and does he pay his bills on time?

 

Age is only relevant if you want to breed or if you want a man to live for a long time since men die about 8-10 years earlier than women of the same age. That is why I date younger men.

Edited by FitChick
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isisisweeping

I don't care too much about age. But lying is a no-go for me. Especially lyingabout something so trivial.

 

 

If it were just on the profile, that would be one thing... but in person??

 

 

 

 

Having an issue about lying is exactly unreasonably high standards.

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Ok am I the only one who wants to know what happened in the bedroom that would freak him out for a year? Did you tie the boy up? :-)

 

Sorry. Couldn't resist Gaeta. Ya this is a weird one there. Lying about age - immediate next. What's even odder is that he comes back with a 39 claim but doesn't want to share his ID. Which he had to know you would ask for.

 

Edit: Also, I echo the sentiments above about sharing with us Gaeta. I know for me when I was in the OLD scene I took encouragement from your experiences. That it is okay to kiss a bunch of frogettes to find my princess.

Edited by Mrin
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More important-- does he have a good job and does he pay his bills on time?

 

Yes he is a computer tech. He has the heart of an entrepreneur. He is obsessed with making money and becoming his own boss. He works 2 jobs around the clock to pile as much cash as possible.

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Ok am I the only one who wants to know what happened in the bedroom that would freak him out for a year? Did you tie the boy up? :-)
Condom broke and I carry hsv-2. He had no chances of getting it I am asymptomatic and take daily antiviral. I don't blame him for being scared off. 90% of men I meet are ok with my condition, some accept it right off the bat, others like to slowly ease into it. He took a few days to think about it, he came back with he's ok with it then the condom broke lol, poor guy.

 

Sorry. Couldn't resist Gaeta. Ya this is a weird one there. Lying about age - immediate next. What's even odder is that he comes back with a 39 claim but doesn't want to share his ID. Which he had to know you would ask for.

 

I suspect he's not quite 28.

 

The way it came out is he was telling me how much he works 7 days a week, 2 jobs a day, and this for a year. I looked at him and said: For goodness sake how old are you to be able to pull that off!! and he said 25 and laughed. That's how we got into this conversation about his age.

 

Edit: Also, I echo the sentiments above about sharing with us Gaeta. I know for me when I was in the OLD scene I took encouragement from your experiences. That it is okay to kiss a bunch of frogettes to find my princess.

 

Thank you :)

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Ok, wait, I'm trying to keep tally...how many ages has he told you he is?

 

He said 25 as a joke (as if 28 is much better than 25)

 

Then said 28 and listened to me going through my fit and stick to being 28 and tried to minimize the impact of the news.

 

Then I guess I didn't look too convinced so when I left he said he had just turned 39 he was messing with me.

 

It's impossible to tell his age by his looks. He's like 6'5'', black, dreadlocks....and I'm an idiot.

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aarg you met one too,,, ah I hate that,,, there was a guy who insist that age is a number. And he is 18 and me 35. He said if that is not a big deal why do I care. And I said I am not looking for partner for my daughter.:) He was writing writing and writing I kept quiet after many months he wrote me "you fking bitch I gave you enough time to be my girl friend but you did not. I want let you know I break up with you." :)

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aarg you met one too,,, ah I hate that,,, there was a guy who insist that age is a number. And he is 18 and me 35. He said if that is not a big deal why do I care. And I said I am not looking for partner for my daughter.:) He was writing writing and writing I kept quiet after many months he wrote me "you fking bitch I gave you enough time to be my girl friend but you did not. I want let you know I break up with you." :)

 

That reminds me of the time I met a man 43. During our first coffee he said he was in fact 53. Whether he's 43 or 53 I don't care, he is still in my age range. He kept saying age is just a number. IF age is just a number and it's not important than use the RIGHT freakin number. I never hide I am 48 and I was asked by many men I met why I don't put 39 or 40 instead cause I don't look 48. If age is just a number than what's wrong with 48!

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Back when I was single, women would play the 'look at my goofy driver's license picture' game. Quick and easy way to 'card' someone for age. When two people are flirting with each other and teasing each other romantically, it's pretty easy to do that type of 'investigation'. Myself, I never lied about my age (don't get why people would) so it was all in good clean fun. To my recollection, none of the women I dated did either.

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True, but only have their driver's licenses to go by, since that was pretty common. Women I 'met', like talked to over the phone or online, no clue. Anyone can be anyone they want on the internet or the other end of a phone. Definitely none of the women I had LTR's with lied about their ages since those interactions lasted from a bit over a year to ten years in length. Heck, for half of them, I did their tax returns so had all kinds of personal information. One was a CPA so she did that herself.

 

To me, dating is getting to know and, if such matters are red flags to someone, that's good information.

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