Boyfriend isn't same after concussion

[Curry]

My boyfriend hasnt been the same since he recieved a concussion. First heres a little backstory on us. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a wonderful 7 months. We both go to the same college and mutual friends introduced us at a party.

 

My boyfriend use to play american football at our college but lost his scholarship because he recieved 3 concusions, a broken ankle, lower spine isnt in the right place and TMJ syndrome. Hes a broken guy but hes my broken guy.

 

With his past injuries I have had to be more patient than I have ever been with a guy. From time to time he'll forget small things or he'll get dizzy and we would have to end dates short. But he always makes it up by being cheesy like giving me flowers or writing me love notes.

 

Anyways last week to the day he was going to a bonfire with a bunch of buddies. He promised me he wouldn't drink much. I believed him because he hasn't lied to me in the past about drinking.

 

Throughout that night we were texting a lot. Out of no where he got mean. Like you would think I insulted his mother kind of mean. It was way out of character for him. Hes always sweet and cheesy. Not mean. I blamed alcohol and told him good night and ignored him the rest of the night.

 

The next morning he calls me. He sounded really scared and wasn't making sense. Youre going to laugh but it was scary. He couldn't find his pants when he woke up. I said something like you shouldn't drink so much then maybe you would remember and I hung up on him. A few minutes later one of his friends called me.

 

His friend said that my boyfriend tripped over a truck hitch and smack the side of his head on a tractor. His friend continued to say that my boyfriend seemed okay so they sat him down and gave him a beer, smart I know. His friend was worried because my boyfriend wasn't talking right and doesnt remember a lot. I asked him what time this happened and the time he gave me is about 10 minutes before my boyfriend became extremely mean to me.

 

I felt bad at that point. I drove to where the bonfire was to pick him up. When I walked in the house he was soo happy to see me but something was way off. You could tell just by looking at him. It wasnt good. He had a hadache, memory loss and fuzzy head. I tried taking him to the hospital but he refuses it.

 

This past week has been rough. He bounces from mood to mood quickly and he doesnt remember a lot of things. There was one time I had enough and snapped at him. I've never seen him so sad before. He actually cried in front of me. Thats never happened. I felt awful. We made up from that though.

 

Heres where things are really rough for me.

 

Yesterday morning I stopped by his dorm to check up on him. Fine as usual. Just really happy to see ms and to make it better he was getting better with his memory. When I left as expected he jumped to a new mood for the day. Depression. I tried my best to be their for him over text but I was busy. It was awful. He would send two or three text at a time to catch my attention I guess. Again hes never done that. I kind of snapped at him. He apologized and said he needed someone to talk to bad.

 

I feel bad for what im about to say but after I wasn't busy anymore I gave him a bunch of one worded answers. After a little bit I cut him off and told him goodnight because I was falling asleep. He accused me of not caring enough to ask how is day had went. I went through our messages and he was right I hadn't. In fact I really hadn't engaged him into the conversastions it was all about me. I feel bad for saying this but I fell asleep on him.

 

He blew up. He sent one mean text and two depressing text when I fell asleep on him. But I didn't wake up. This morning I felt beyond awful. I sent him the usual good morning text but he didn't reply. Way out of character for him. He always replies back. After an hour I sent him a long apology text. All he sent back was "Its okay". After that its just been one worded text messages from him. I tried calling him but he wont answer. Just one worded text messages is all I can get out of him.

 

So I don't know what to do. I guess my first question is; is this common for people that recieve concussions? If so how long does it last? And what do you guys think I can do to get him to talk to me normally again?

 

Thank you

[Dork Vader]

Look it all boils down to this.. I did not read the entire story.

 

Concussions can cause a personality change. I had a very bad one when I was 18. I ate it snow skiing and landed face first on to flat groomed snow from about 2.5 stories in the air. I was knocked out of at least an hour. I have no memory of the day leading up to the accident all I remember was waking up in a medics arms heaving blood out of my lungs. Then I woke up in the ER.

 

I had a major personality change after the accident. I lost ALL of my friends. I had to make new friends and have had a difficult time sustaining friendships.

 

He's likely going through depression and other things as well. I mean look at what the guy has been through.

 

That said he's probably going to need out side help. A therapist.. I have memory issues and that likely will never change. He's going to have to use his calander in his phone and his note pad in the phone.

 

Things will likely be difficult. But if you love him and are committed to him. Talk to him about it and see if he'll go to therapy.

[Andy_K]

You should get your head checked out after any head injury. He hit his head on the tractor, hard enough to give him a headache and concussion, and already has a previous history with head injuries...

 

What I would do, is point blank refuse to see him until he gets it checked out, except if he wants a lift/company for the trip to the hospital/doctors.

[d0nnivain]

Some residuals after a TBI are common. His are over the top & indicate he needs continued medical care. Take him to a neurologist & if he won't go, snoop until you find contact info for his parents. Call them & beg them to take him to a neurologist who will get him a CT Scan of his brain.

 

Some of what you are describing happened to my father who had a slow bleed in his brain which compressed his brain & eventually killed him because it was too late when the finally evacuated the blood.

 

Yes I am trying to scare you by telling you that. This is very serious -- LIFE & DEATH. Now go save your BF's life.

[Curry]

Thank you everyone. I have a mini update.

 

The morning has just begun and hes still stuck in the depression state. He claims he hasn't slept. When I asked him why he claims hes still hurt that I fell asleep on him and don't engage him in conversastion when he needed it most. I apologized last night but im guessing he forgot because hes acting extremely depressed/hurt.

 

This isn't easy. Its wearing me down. In 30 minutes im going to a all day training. So basically while hes in his depressed state and needs me im going to be busy on him again. Lord only knows how hes going to react to me not replying back to his messages.

 

I am scared half to death for him. Every day I beg him to go to the hospital. In fact one day he thought I was taking him out to eat but I drove him to the hospital. He refused to get out of the car. He claims theres nothing doctors can do for him. And that it will be a waste of money.

 

His family and I have a great relationship so I have got in contact with them. They claim they don't have insurance right now and they truely don't have the money for him to go. But they said they would talk to him today to see if he would at least go to the schools health center. Which is free for certain students and it would be free for him.

 

So im hoping his family can convince him to go because I really cant take this for very much longer

[d0nnivain]

Then get him charity care. If he doesn't get this MRI he will DIE. Have him go to an ER. They can't refuse him.

 

he isn't go to die from depression & you have to go to your meeting so don't worry about that.

[preraph]

Hon, you need to take your boyfriend to the emergency room at the hospital right away. He needs help right now, not next week. His parents are being idiots. Look up the country hospital where you are because they are generally the ones where if you're indigent, you don't have to pay. Take him there.

 

If he won't go with you, call 911. They can help determine what to do as well.

 

And yes, brain damage can cause violent mood swings, etc. And he shouldn't be drinking at all meanwhile.

Edited August 21, 2014 by preraph

[preraph]

Above that should be "county" hospital, not country. Hate that autocorrect!

[FitChick]

I thought Obama said no one has to worry about medical care any more.

 

Tell the boyfriend to write out his will and tell him what you want him to leave to you since he says docs can't help him. If he loves you he will want you to be happy with his stuff after he dies, right?