Darren2013 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I am pretty much a believer in the playing hard to get tactic in the early stages of dating. Of course the woman has to have some attraction for me in order for it to work. But assuming the attraction is there then I can build on it with the playing hard to get strategy. So the next time a woman shows an interest in my love life and asks me if I am seeing someone I would say yeah I have a girlfriend even if I am single. Women do not admit it but there is something in them that wants to compete for a man who has other women who want him. So even if I do not have a girlfriend I will make one up if she asks if I am seeing someone. Why would I say no? There's no challenge there and she may wonder what's wrong with me if I do not have a girlfriend. In her mind there must be a reason I do not have a girlfriend and she may see that as a red flag. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 May I know how old you are? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Playing hard to get by definition is GAME PLAYING. Why would you think you could increase attraction by lying about some non-existent GF? Why would you want to date a woman who thinks it's ethically OK to compete for somebody else's BF & essentially be a homewrecker? It is perfectly OK to BE hard to get but that means you are busy & your time is valuable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I see in your history that you are 34. In your entire history of dating, did it ever pay off to play games? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 For me playing hard to get will take you out of the game. In the last few years I need a guy to show strong interest in me or I lose mine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 (edited) But a woman might think there's some reason I don't have a girlfriend and that might concern her to where she thinks no other women like him for some reason so why should I? Kind of like when new employers interview you they are going to be interested in your work history. If you have been out of a job for awhile they are going to be concerned about the reasons for that. You have to have a little game when it comes to job interviews and know the right answer to certain questions and it is the same with dating. The longer a man stays single the less chance he has of getting out of it. Edited August 22, 2014 by Darren2013 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 But a woman might think there's some reason I don't have a girlfriend and that might concern her to where she thinks no other women like him for some reason so why should I? Kind of like when new employers interview you they are going to be interested in your work history. If you have been out of a job for awhile they are going to be concerned about the reasons for that. You have to have a little game when it comes to job interviews and know the right answer to certain questions and it is the same with dating. The longer a man stays single the less chance he has of getting out of it. Your problem is that you think you know best. We're a bunch of women here telling you to drop the game. Why you still think YOU know best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 With all of Darren's threads, one wonders if he's ever had a girlfriend... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 If you had any interest in a certain guy wouldn't you like to investigate the reason he doesn't have a girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
letmoc Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 No I think most women would be happy if the man they were interested in was single . 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 (edited) It could also go the other way too. She asks if I am seeing anyone and if I say no she may think "There must be a reason for that. Any chance no other women want him? If so then it must be for a good reason and therefore why would I want him?" Employer asks in job interview if I am currently working. If I say no employer will ask "Why not? In their head they may think "Any chance no other company wants to hire him? If so then why should we hire him?" Edited August 22, 2014 by Darren2013 Link to post Share on other sites
letmoc Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 There are a billion reasons a person could be single. I would be more put off by a grown man having a made up girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Only you don't know that he made it up. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 If a woman is interested/attracted, she would far rather hear no, you do not have a girlfriend than yes, you do. If she's not interested/attracted to you, she doesn't really care one way or the other, so if she's not biting, it's because she's not attracted, not because you don't have a gf. Now, if you said, you NEVER had a girlfriend, that would be a red flag, but why would anyone with a brain offer up that information??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 No woman in her right mind thinks there must be something wrong with a guy who doesn't have a GF at the moment she meets him. If she like shim she thinks how lucky she is & how fortuitous it is that he's available. A good woman with any ethics upon being told that you have a GF or that you are seeing someone will stop talking to you & move on because you are taken. A woman who is interested in helping you cheat on this hypothetical GF will probably cheat ON you because she has no respect for boundaries. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
shoegal4 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 No woman in her right mind thinks there must be something wrong with a guy who doesn't have a GF at the moment she meets him. If she like shim she thinks how lucky she is & how fortuitous it is that he's available. A good woman with any ethics upon being told that you have a GF or that you are seeing someone will stop talking to you & move on because you are taken. A woman who is interested in helping you cheat on this hypothetical GF will probably cheat ON you because she has no respect for boundaries. Everything that he said ^^ Why is everyone even responding to this thread? If I were ever interested in a man who said he had a girlfriend I would slow my role and turn the other way. What strong-willed, respectable woman would ever "compete" for another man's attention. Or vice versa? And you're comparing the basis of someone's relationship status with job interviews?! What?! Honey, good thing you are here. We need to help you! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
letmoc Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Only you don't know that he made it up. What if you end up liking the girl. Are you going to stage a break up with the fake girlfriend? I just don't think it's a good idea. Just say you have been dating but nothing serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Yeah if we really click after talking then what I will do is lay low for a couple of weeks and pretend that my made up girlfriend and I have problems and talk about how I do not think it is going to last. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Darren -- you can't start a relationship off on two lies: the existence of the made up GF & then the fake break up (which was caused by the new girl) shoegal4 -- I am a woman 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PerfectStorm Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 (edited) No way is this a good idea. First, I am sick of dudes who have actual girlfriends hitting on me. Do I have a tattoo on my forehead that makes unavailable men approach me? I've had situations like this occur everytime I'm single for the last 10 years. I went out with a friend for 3 beers Tuesday. This attractive man who owns his own company, says he's divorced, buys us both a beer and talks for a couple hours. Next day, he sends me a friend request on FB. Day after that asks me for my phone number. Then today I see that this woman has posted some crazy stuff on his FB about if you cared about me you wouldn't have asked another woman for her phone #. I deleted his as* if that makes you anymore confident about your girlfriend theroy. We are in our 30's why would a grown man pull a grown woman into his drama. Damn. And if it's just a game well that's almost as bad. Edited August 22, 2014 by PerfectStorm 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Ok, dude, I agree with the other posts...if you are involved with someone, a woman more than likely is gonna move on. Now, for the females who panties get up in a tizzy cuz you're taken are the ones you wanna stay far, far away from. I have a friend of a friend who was seeing a "taken" guy. And, at the time while he was seeing her - he was cheating on his main squeeze and he was also seeing other women. He ultimately left his main squeeze AND is still cheating on her. She keeps on going on and on about how great she is in the sack and doesn't get why he sees other people...and just listening to her makes you feel so sorry on how pathetic she is. I told my friend to tell her that he is a dog, and her bedroom tricks or ANY woman's bedroom skills is never gonna satisfy him cuz he always needs his ego stroked by having women fight over him and having more than one chick. Well, they have endless Jerry Springer drama. She once got into a fight with a co-worker of his, and his ex-main squeeze started messing with him to get back at her...And, they have fights that result in things getting smashed around the house...etc. Long story short, a female who wants a guy who is taken cuz she thinks she can "turn him out" is just a sad, pathetic person who thrives on drama. Whenever my friend's friend goes on and on about her fights with that dog of a guy, she sounds so excited and I'm like 'who can live with all this misery and drama?' When my most recent crush told me he had someone, I didn't get excited cuz I know what I can do in the bedroom and regardless of what I can do in the bedroom I'm mature enough to know that there's always gonna be a hotter and better skilled woman than me out there...so, what is there to prove? Now, it didn't bother me that he mentioned he was involved cuz of the age gap and my assumption that he won't be here permanently AND, that I'm not trying to steal someone's man. I didn't see an issue with us having fun and chuckles cuz no one was going to get hurt. But, when I didn't hook up with him when he was available (then when I was, he changed his mind) I kinda felt relieved cuz it did make me feel kinda bad to be messing with someone's guy and I also wondered if he was thinking I was pathetic to be messing with him too. So, all in all, pretending you're involved with someone isn't gonna make women come to you - only the ones who probably are gonna give you drama (unless they really, really just wanna have fun with you and move on). If you wanna don't wanna look like you haven't dated in years, you can probably say that you are 'seeing people, but nothing serious right now'...And IMO, that's understandable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 No way is this a good idea. First, I am sick of dudes who have actual girlfriends hitting on me. Do I have a tattoo on my forehead that makes unavailable men approach me? I've had situations like this occur everytime I'm single for the last 10 years. I went out with a friend for 3 beers Tuesday. This attractive man who owns his own company, says he's divorced, buys us both a beer and talks for a couple hours. Next day, he sends me a friend request on FB. Day after that asks me for my phone number. Then today I see that this woman has posted some crazy stuff on his FB about if you cared about me you wouldn't have asked another woman for her phone #. I deleted his as* if that makes you anymore confident about your girlfriend theroy. We are in our 30's why would a grown man pull a grown woman into his drama. Damn. And if it's just a game well that's almost as bad. I know, I think it's so sick that some people thrive on the drama of lying about their situation to bed other people.... Or, who knows...they probably figured out if they tell you the truth they'd have no chance of nailing you. But then again, there's dating websites for involved people out there. I'm not sure if I can mention a popular one that came out in the news a few years back cuz of the controversy it caused. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Cuz I was having problems editing my post, I just wanted to add this.... I don't get the OPs logic in thinking a woman would remain interested if a guy makes it clear he was taken...Again, I'll use my recent example.... When in casual convo dude made sure he was to mention his "SO", I immediately wrote him off - to the extent I can't recall if or what his name is. The only reason I decided to chat him up again was cuz I caught him looking at my place, so I figured he wanted to speak to me. But still, I haven't forgotten he made it clear he is involved with someone. You know, I've actually even been guilty of using the 'I'm involved with someone' to ward off people I wanted to just leave me alone...I've even worn rings on my fingers to give the appearance of being engaged and/or married, cuz the person who was interested in me persisted over months. So, one time I went on vacation and came back with the ring on - in hopes they would bug off. So, again, when a guy tells you he's involved with someone, I don't see how that would make a woman want a guy more...In my case, I'd take that he's not interested or if he's lying about it - it's not to get my attention, but to tell me to bugg off. Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 So even if I do not have a girlfriend I will make one up if she asks if I am seeing someone. Why would I say no? There's no challenge there and she may wonder what's wrong with me if I do not have a girlfriend. In her mind there must be a reason I do not have a girlfriend and she may see that as a red flag. I tried the fake girlfriend thing for awhile too. My roommate thought it was weird I would make romantic dinners for my Blowup-doll.... I mean.... my Girlfriend....... Cause I'm not single.... I'm in a loving relationship... She loves me.... A LOT. If you had any interest in a certain guy wouldn't you like to investigate the reason he doesn't have a girlfriend? This is usually why women drop their interest in me. They hire a Private Investigator and he tells them "This man has not been involved for a few years now, clean slate, he's done NOTHING except work a lot, make friendships, have fun, establish his career, and watch a lot of Game of Thrones". Almost immediately the woman loses interest and purses a man in a relationship... Women NEED that competition....................................................................... Women hate single men. *looks over at blowup doll* Looks like I'm gettin' back with my ex... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 But wait OP, what if they start wondering why you're not already married? Link to post Share on other sites
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