LuvsTrucks2 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Met a guy from OLD on Sunday and we really hit it off. We have been in contact ever since but by text only, no phone calls. What's up with this? Link to post Share on other sites
michellew Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Some people just prefer texting now of days; I know I do. The only time I really talk on the phone before a first date is to set it up. It drives some men nuts, while others prefer it too. I wouldn't read to much into it since it's so common now. (No pun intended. lol) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 michellew, Thanks for the response, I will just go with the flow for now, he's almost in constant contact, but I would like to hear his voice, I told him from the beginning that I thought he had a nice voice. Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 When I was on OLD I hated talking on the phone. I'm not a huge fan of texting but it is definitely my preferred method of communication when it comes to relative strangers. Phone calls can be so awkward. I know my ex and I could text all day but talking on the phone was an excruciating exercise in patience and finding something to talk about next. Only after some lengthy conversation (via text) and when I felt totally ready to meet them in person did I even want to have a phone conversation, and that was only to set up a meet. 9/10 we ended up chatting for hours anyway but the intent of the call was not just to sit around and talk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 The times we have spoken on the phone, there is no problem with keeping the conversation going, that was one of my main points with on line dating, the guy should be able to hold up his end of the conversation, which this guy can do really well. Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 You should tell him to call you then. Challenge him a little Link to post Share on other sites
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 I have challenged him, tried coordinating through text and he says he's either busy or getting into the shower. I think I'm going to back off a bit and let this play itself out. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I definitely wouldn't keep that up for long. You can't tell anything about someone texting. You can't even tell if it's a guy for sure. Why not suggest Skype just to get an overall impression. Besides, once you start off texting constantly if you do become an item, he'll be checking up on your constantly when you need to be doing other things. You need to set boundaries on this stuff from the beginning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I HATE talking on the phone. Even now my BF and I don't speak on the phone unless its an utter emergency. If you want to speak on the phone call him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 preraph, We already met on Sunday and he is very much a man, exactly like his pictures too. I've decided to back off a bit because like a previous poster said, if we do decide to have a relationship I don't want him to be constantly texting and if I am busy and can't respond right way or as frequent as he likes, then the panic starts. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I have challenged him, tried coordinating through text and he says he's either busy or getting into the shower. I think I'm going to back off a bit and let this play itself out. That's a shame. I know I would avoid phone calls in past relationships unless the lady stated her preference for calls. I usually dated single moms so I needed to be mindful of their time with their kids. But now with the lady I am dating we talk for an hour or two every night before bed and I couldn't be happier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 Mrin, The sad thing is I've complimented him quite a few times on the sound/tone of his voice. I guess I'm wanting too much at this stage or maybe he is manipulating me for some reason I cannot fathom at this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Mrin, The sad thing is I've complimented him quite a few times on the sound/tone of his voice. I guess I'm wanting too much at this stage or maybe he is manipulating me for some reason I cannot fathom at this time. Ya. I was kinda hoping you hadn't stated your preferences and when you did his behavior would change. Doesn't sound like it is the case here. Well, I would sit on it for a while and determine if you think it is a big deal. It may be indicative of something greater afoot or it just might be a difference in communication preferences. The one thing I think I might consider doing is flatly saying "this texting constantly throughout the day is something that doesn't work for me. I don't think I can keep it up long term because my brain just doesn't multitask like that. I like to focus. I prefer quality to quantity". To me at least, that would make total sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 My 2 cents here: Maybe the "phone call" is starting to become, dare I say, "outdated." People just prefer not to use it as a method of conversation. Not that they're scared (or afraid of their voice), not because they have anxiety, not because they don't want to talk to you, they just... Don't. That's all. They just don't want to. This goes for both men and women. Combine that with the fact that most men are not very social (or talkative, in this sense). And there you go. Also, think of it this way: Just 10 years ago, if a man wanted to talk to a girl, maybe just to flirt a little. Maybe more. Whatever. Either way, he HAD to call you. God forbid you didn't have your own phone line. He had to call your house, politely ask for you (and hope he doesn't get stuck having awkward small talk with whomever), and then do whatever he wanted to. That was the norm. That's what worked. Times have changed. You can do that with words now that pop up on their screens. That's like cavemen going from hitting things with rocks, to attaching a rock to a stick and hitting said object from far away. You can slay it for your family's meal either way, but one requires that you're in the face of horned gazelle, the other gives you some distance and avoids being impaled. Maybe one day the text will be outdated. Probably soon. WHo knows? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Met a guy from OLD on Sunday and we really hit it off. We have been in contact ever since but by text only, no phone calls. What's up with this? 1. What do you want to talk about on the phone? Why not just get together in person? 2. Why don't you call him? Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Just 10 years ago, if a man wanted to talk to a girl, maybe just to flirt a little. Maybe more. Whatever. Either way, he HAD to call you. God forbid you didn't have your own phone line. He had to call your house, politely ask for you (and hope he doesn't get stuck having awkward small talk with whomever), and then do whatever he wanted to. That was the norm. That's what worked. Oh, the memories! And the parents/siblings picking up on the other line/listening in/yelling at the person to get off the phone... Priceless. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts