nyny123 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I'm on okcupid and just met a man I have been talking to for 3 weeks. During the date I had a good vibe about this guy and it's like we click. We both felt comfortable around each other. I have somewhat of a feeling he is right for me but at the same time I want to take things slow and take my time to know him and meet other men. Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I'm on okcupid and just met a man I have been talking to for 3 weeks. During the date I had a good vibe about this guy and it's like we click. We both felt comfortable around each other. I have somewhat of a feeling he is right for me but at the same time I want to take things slow and take my time to know him and meet other men. You literally answered your own question. Actually...There was no question. It's a statement. *Stands up. Starts clapping with a big smile* 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 To answer your question. The answer is no you CANNOT tell how someone is like on the first date. It takes time to get to know someone and besides people are usually well behaved within the first 6 months or so or the so called "honey moon" period. Give it time and you`ll find out the real person. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Well, both of my past properly serious relationships were with guys who were friends first, then FWB, then became partners. So they don't really apply. But I've had two relationships from dating sites, and I have to say it's mixed. With my ex at the first date I thought he was really cute, and we had a fun time, and I was happy to see him again, but I wasn't like, completely 100% blown away. I wouldn't have been upset if he didn't want to see me again, for example. We ended up dating five months before he ended it because 'he was too busy' he'd never had a relationship before, at 26, so I think he just ended up mixing infatuation for love and sacked it off. The guy I'm with now, yes at the first date I was floored. I couldn't believe how well we got on, what a laugh we had, we made in jokes before we even parted that night, he was unbelievably beautiful to look at, interesting and extremely smart. I knew right away that I really liked him and that we'd be great together. Turns out he felt the same way, we've been together only since January but we just moved in officially together away to a new city for work. Although we've barely spent a night apart since March anyway so living together doesn't feel any different, just feels amazing. I wouldn't have predicted this during the first date but I did know that if he felt the same we would really work as a couple. Well, not 'know' but strongly feel. In contrast, I had probably 20-30 first dates with other men while I was dating actively and I knew that I wasn't interested in seeing any of them further. Some I gave a second date a shot with but it just didn't feel right. Most of them wanted to see me again but many of them also just weren't feeling it and didn't ask me out again. So yeah I think you can tell if you're not into someone on a first date, and conversely you can also tell if you want to see them again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Anecdotal evidence, but my friend recently got married to a girl he met online. Apparently after their first date the girl told her mum she had found the man she was going to marry. So she knew. Sometimes it can happen. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 You were FWB first then became partners? Funny, I usually turn down FWB opportunities, if this is the case, maybe I shouldn't have? LOL Well, both of my past properly serious relationships were with guys who were friends first, then FWB, then became partners. So they don't really apply. But I've had two relationships from dating sites, and I have to say it's mixed. With my ex at the first date I thought he was really cute, and we had a fun time, and I was happy to see him again, but I wasn't like, completely 100% blown away. I wouldn't have been upset if he didn't want to see me again, for example. We ended up dating five months before he ended it because 'he was too busy' he'd never had a relationship before, at 26, so I think he just ended up mixing infatuation for love and sacked it off. The guy I'm with now, yes at the first date I was floored. I couldn't believe how well we got on, what a laugh we had, we made in jokes before we even parted that night, he was unbelievably beautiful to look at, interesting and extremely smart. I knew right away that I really liked him and that we'd be great together. Turns out he felt the same way, we've been together only since January but we just moved in officially together away to a new city for work. Although we've barely spent a night apart since March anyway so living together doesn't feel any different, just feels amazing. I wouldn't have predicted this during the first date but I did know that if he felt the same we would really work as a couple. Well, not 'know' but strongly feel. In contrast, I had probably 20-30 first dates with other men while I was dating actively and I knew that I wasn't interested in seeing any of them further. Some I gave a second date a shot with but it just didn't feel right. Most of them wanted to see me again but many of them also just weren't feeling it and didn't ask me out again. So yeah I think you can tell if you're not into someone on a first date, and conversely you can also tell if you want to see them again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zeurich Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 What was the question again. Take it slow and try to get to know him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 No, I couldn't tell if they were right for me after 1 meeting. It took me 4 or 5 to know I wanted a relationship. But I sure as hell could tell when they were *wrong* on the first meet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I could always tell if they were wrong for me. At most upon meeting all you can determine this quickly is whether you would like to continue to get to know the person which is what you said you were going to do. If you are this certain about this guy, however, why do you want to date other people. Yes, you should keep your options open & guard your heart this early but you don't need to muddy the waters either. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 You were FWB first then became partners? Funny, I usually turn down FWB opportunities, if this is the case, maybe I shouldn't have? LOL Yeah lol. The guy I was with for four years we were friends that ended up doing stuff in bed, for a month or so he was saying he wasn't looking for a relationship because he was still getting over his ex leaving him. But I was really into him and only 19 so I carried on with it and after a couple months he asked me to be his girlfriend. Were together a long time for that age and eventually I ended it. The second guy we were good friends for about a year and a half while I was in a relationship, then one day I ended up single and at his place drinking, we were both tipsy, ended up play-fighting and then before we knew it, we were in bed. We actually had this sexual thing going on for about three or four months and I never considered it going any further as I didn't want it to, I couldn't see him as a boyfriend and I was also in an open 'relationship (S&M) with another guy (both guys fully aware of situation) which was taking up most of my attention. Eventually he kinda started suggesting we get together properly and after a while I agreed and ended things with the open relationship guy (who was happy for me! lol) and we got together. Ended up together for two years, and then he broke my heart leaving me what felt like out of the blue. But I'm over that now. These days actually if I feel I might 'like' a guy properly, I won't get into bed with him unless/until we've become exclusive and got to know each other well enough that we want to give a relationship a shot. If I'm not into somebody as a potential partner I am into casual sex, but when I really like somebody I can't go there unless we're together. So yeah, kinda goes against what most people say about not having FWB if you're hoping it'll go further. Probably not a typical thing though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I had great first dates with men and I felt we were a great fit then we'd go on a second date and he'd do something moron-ish. So yes many times I felt excited about a man on a first date but I've learn not to trust that feeling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 I'm on okcupid and just met a man I have been talking to for 3 weeks. During the date I had a good vibe about this guy and it's like we click. We both felt comfortable around each other. I have somewhat of a feeling he is right for me but at the same time I want to take things slow and take my time to know him and meet other men. Depends on the nature of the person and your conversation(s). Every first date I've been on has been good enough to know if there will be a second, because I can tell whether or not there's chemistry there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 if i agree to date a guy.....there is always the consideration it will be more than one date...first dates to me are not really a guide if the guy is for me or not takes longer......i normally know its going to be quite a few dates because these guys are friends to begin with...in the past i normally head straight to exclusively dating...i cant concentrate on more than one guy at a time and knowing that guy...i like to know them completely that takes effort and time on my behalf.... and no distractions from other men and how they are so my time what i have left after family obligations is their time............i pretty much consider it an intimate relationship as do the men i have dated.....i only open up when it is intimate......if it isnt going to work out....it is me who normally ends it.....and when i do ....i dont start another relationship until it is over......or i dont date another until it is clear to them that its over......but thats me...you have to do what feels right for you......what your heart feels good about.......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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