GTO06 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Hey guys, It's the 29 year old virgin again with another question. So, every time you tell someone that you want to find a chick to hookup with, the first thing out of their mouth is always "Try the bars, duh!" Well, I have been to a LOT of bars over the last year and I've never seen any of these so called women that go to bars to find a guy to hookup with. In fact, I have never even seen a woman sitting on their own at all at a bar! Most women I see at bars came in with their SO or are in a bunch of women together off on their own. I mean seriously, what are we single guys supposed to do with that? Like so many other things, it is never like in the movies. You know, a guy walks in the bar, there hot chicks lined up at the bar all singled out and the guy just walks in and chooses one to hit on; it's just isn't like this in real life! Where the heck are all these single women at bars that everyone talks about? Link to post Share on other sites
henderson14 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 It's not as common as you think. It's kind of a rare thing for almost all guys. It won't happen at a bar for you if your a 29 year old virgin, so don't worry about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTO06 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 It's not as common as you think. It's kind of a rare thing for almost all guys. It won't happen at a bar for you if your a 29 year old virgin, so don't worry about it. Aren't you the guy that just said this in my other posts about FWB?... Found mine from one night stands from the bars. Just started texting them randomly at 1:00 AM on the weekends. Seemed to work out well. Confused Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I hooked up with one guy I technically met at a bar. He was a friend of my friends. It was awful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTO06 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 I used to bar hop a lot when I was in my early 20's and you can definitely get a hook-up at a bar. Like anything in life, it doesn't always work, but it can. Yea, but that's what I hate about life, lol. I'm a logical guy, so I wish this whole dating/sex thing was just more cut and dry. There is SO much unnecessary BS to have to deal with before you get anywhere and I just can't make it over the hump. It shouldn't be this flipping difficult Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTO06 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 I hooked up with one guy I technically met at a bar. He was a friend of my friends. It was awful. Why was it awful? Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Its easy to hook up at a bar. All you need is a keen sense, some money in your pocket and a few jokes, and you could be having some awful hookup bar sex. Some girls that go with their friends dont mind going home alone, some girls come with their girlfriends, and their girlfriends bring their boyfriends, and then the 3rd wheel gets a bit jealous. You just have to scope the room, It happens all the time, not like the movies, but not impossible in the least Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTO06 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 Its easy to hook up at a bar. All you need is a keen sense, some money in your pocket and a few jokes, and you could be having some awful hookup bar sex. Some girls that go with their friends dont mind going home alone, some girls come with their girlfriends, and their girlfriends bring their boyfriends, and then the 3rd wheel gets a bit jealous. You just have to scope the room, It happens all the time, not like the movies, but not impossible in the least How can you tell any of this stuff by just looking at them? It would make for some pretty sour conversation if you just barge into a group and try hitting on one of the girls... Link to post Share on other sites
michellew Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 (edited) In fact, I have never even seen a woman sitting on their own at all at a bar! Most women I see at bars came in with their SO or are in a bunch of women together off on their own. The only time I am ever alone at a bar is when I go out of town for work and feel like grabbing a drink. I'll either go to the hotel bar or somewhere within walking distance. And yes, this has led to hook ups with men who were also in town for business. Try a hotel bar! I can't remember the last time I hooked up locally with someone I met while out, but it did happen frequently in my 20s. Have you tried any dating sites like POF or Tinder? Although they are used for dating, a lot of men will clearly state that they just want to hook up. Who knows if they have any luck, but you can give it a try. Edited August 13, 2014 by michellew Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTO06 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 The only time I am ever alone at a bar is when I go out of town for work and feel like grabbing a drink. I'll either go to the hotel bar or somewhere within walking distance. And yes, this has led to hook ups with men who were also in town for business. Try a hotel bar! I can't remember the last time I hooked up locally with someone I met while out, but it did happen frequently in my 20s. Have you tried any dating sites like POF or Tinder? Although they are used for dating, a lot of men will clearly state that they just want to hook up. Who knows if they have any luck, but you can give it a try. I've never seen a bar in a hotel before, but I have thought of that before. Maybe you guys are just in richer or more populated areas than I? I get some dates from OLD, but never used Tinder as I don't have a smartphone or texting. Link to post Share on other sites
michellew Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I've never seen a bar in a hotel before, but I have thought of that before. Maybe you guys are just in richer or more populated areas than I? I get some dates from OLD, but never used Tinder as I don't have a smartphone or texting. Where are you from? Yes, more expensive hotels usually have bars, but I've also seen them at your average Marriott type of hotel. Keep trying online, but be specific in what you are looking for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 How can you tell any of this stuff by just looking at them? It would make for some pretty sour conversation if you just barge into a group and try hitting on one of the girls... There are ways to talk to anyone. If you want to talk to a group of girls, you'll have to be the life of the party. Basically have more fun than everyone at the bar and everyone will want to talk to you. When youre like that you can talk to the girls and their friends no problem. Most pickup artist book get into stuff like this, so their are definately techniques Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Vader Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I wen theough a bar phase and I assure you there are plenty of women at bars who will go home with the right guy. There are also women that will go home with who ever buys them a drink. There are also women who wont give you their number.. That said I don't think you'll get laid at a bar. You're going to be competing with a ton of experienced men. You need to do things YOU enjoy. Join clubs anything social.. You'll mee women you have things with incommon with and it will be easier. Hell go take a class at a community college.. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Yes, it is for real. And it can be such a sad experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 My first time at a bar after my divorce a girl hit on me within 5 minutes of getting my first drink. In less than 30 minutes I finished my 2nd drink and went back to her condo. And I was a bit overweight, wearing glasses, not very confident, and failed some of her s.hit test. But I was bold enough to dive in for a kiss and grab her breasts. It's easier than you realize. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTO06 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 My first time at a bar after my divorce a girl hit on me within 5 minutes of getting my first drink. In less than 30 minutes I finished my 2nd drink and went back to her condo. And I was a bit overweight, wearing glasses, not very confident, and failed some of her s.hit test. But I was bold enough to dive in for a kiss and grab her breasts. It's easier than you realize. Hmm, maybe I'm just not looking in the right places? The thing that sucks is that even though the town I live in has a population of around 70,000, the bars seem to be dead around here. I once went to what is supposedly one of the most popular bars in town on a Friday night and I was the only person there! There is a bigger college town about 15 miles away, but I get tired of having to travel there so often and I doubt a girl would accept going home with me to a different town even if I got one. It just seems like there is always something blocking me from success with women Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Bars? It depends what kind of bars and what part of town. Not just any type of bar. I mean if its an old mans bar. You wont get any talent there for sure. Where I m from in the UK, I tend to find quality, or more up market girls in cocktail bars or contemporary modern bars. Sometimes themed pubs like Irish bars have younger crowds and it does happen where women are friendly. You just have to scan around and look what you mean by bar and what part of town. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Why was it awful? He was selfish in bed. And I slept over. No cuddling or kissing. (Not that I wanted it). I was on the edge of the bed trying not to get too close. I realized I wasn't cut out for that type of encounter. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Most women who come IN with their friends don't necessarily want to leave without at least talking to a new guy. You might not get one to leave with you & have sex with you that night but it's easy to make a connection. Smile. Say hi. Ask her to dance. Talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I think you should find a way to meet women that is enjoyable for you. If you're having fun, the woman will have fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RonaldS Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 It's not as common as you think. It's kind of a rare thing for almost all guys. Ok, now I've heard it all. Bar hook-ups rare? Ummmmm....wait....huh? 50% of the sex that happens in the world probably wouldn't take place without bars and parties. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Your best bet is to go online to a hook up site. That will almost guarantee you'll come across women who are explicitly interested in hooking up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lionheart153 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 (edited) If you want to find a random hook up at the bar, it is possible, its not like the movies were it just walks up to you however, you need to know what your doing. First of all, no one wants to go to a bar alone, it just looks sad. Girls will usually go in groups and when that happens BF's may tag along. It's up to you to go in and divide and conquer. If you have a good wing man it just becomes easier. Usually be friendly to the males first so you're not seen as a threat to them and their partner, and it also helps you figure out who's single and who's not. If it's a group of girls, you have to figure out who is the mother hen (the one that wants to keep it a girls night only) and disarm her because if she doesn't like you, no girl will be going anywhere with you. Once you know who is single then it's up to your own skill and charm and a bit of luck to seal that deal. The girl you are interested might just be coming along with no intention to hook up, but maybe you could charm your way in. Or she could be looking for exactly that but you need to be the one to figure it out. Looks don't account for everything, its all about your personality and charm. If you come off creepy you will probably be ignored, if you come off needy, you'll probably be ignored. Some women can be shallow and some could care less if you can make them have a good time when they are with you. but that all falls under the luck category. No one can teach you what to say and there really isn't a script to follow. You need to be able to feel it out. Also you need to have your own standards, if you are clearly a 6 or 7 and your charm cannot cover the spread, and you only hit on 9 or 10s then you come off as shallow and it makes you look creepy. If that's to complicated, then let me simplify it. People are attracted to positive people. If you are alone checking out every girl, no ones gonna wanna go near you because you look creepy. Have a good time, enjoy yourself and have the balls to talk to a girl either alone or with a group and see how things turn up. BTW I think losing your virginity to a 1 night stand is stupid, I know because I did and it cheapens the whole experience. Trust me when I tell you bars are not where to meet people that you want something more than a one night stand with. Also you have a up hill battle, because as a virgin you probably come off as a virgin whether you know it or not. I've been there, timid, shy, wishing you can talk to one girl, lacking confidence. You are usually competing for a girls attention with other guys that are better looking or more experience or more confident then you and girls can see that. Take it from me and go do a sport, take a class, join a team, anything to meet people in regular environments. it'll be much more memorable and easier for you. Yea, I think I will do pretty well my first time as I've never been so ready for something in my life, lol. I also have built up my PC muscle this year and can actually do multiple orgasms, which I'm sure a woman would enjoy Another issue is that the things I'm interested in aren't things that women like typically. I'm into more guy popular things like cars, computers, RC vehicles, ect. I'm not sure what kind of groups I could even get involved in that I would enjoy that women my age wold be in around here... You will never know how you do your first time. You can't be ready either, actual sex is incomparable to anything else. As a virgin you probably wont do well. It's the facts of life. either you were to quick or you were to long that it dragged on, cuz I know that's what happened to me. I didn't even orgasm so it wasn't a fun experience. You just listed interests that probably 75% males like, you don't need similar interest with a girl to hook up, just need to entertain them. If you have nothing to offer then you have nothing of interest. Human beings are attracted to interesting things, and this goes back to the luck thing. Edited August 13, 2014 by lionheart153 Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Logic and intellect are terrible in the sack. Even worse on dates. They're slow, unreliable and prone to misinterpretation. You could get the most detailed, laid out advice here from the world's most prolific bar star players. It won't do you much good because a lot of where they're coming from is ultimately a place dominated by the emotional side of the mind. Feelings. Instinct. 'Gut'. The objective analysis can come across clearly enough, but the subjective core completely misses the mark if you don't even have a personal understanding of your own emotions. You develop those "soft" skills through social interaction, creative expression, self-exploration and simply just "feeling". Just paying attention to how you feel as opposed to what you're thinking. Of course, that can be an extremely challenging undertaking if you're mind-dominated and are constantly trying to affix labels and perform analysis. I was a virgin until 28 and didn't even get into a serious relationship until 32. The big switch? I went from thinking to being. From almost zero sexual and relationship experience to a dozen enjoyable dates, a fun 6-week fling and then an 8-month romantic & intense relationship. It didn't last, there was heartbreak, but overall I feel far more liberated than where I was a year ago today. I am far from being "fully formed" or completely grounded. Long ways to go. A lifetime. But man am I glad I started going through that transformation sooner rather than later so I can actually begin to enjoy my life. Everything has gotten easier and just more enjoyable. Friendships, romance, work, family and so on. I can't stress this enough. STOP trying to plan and analyze. It will get you nowhere. Your intellect is a poor substitute for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 A bigger city is better for sure. There has to be people to actually meet or you can't have success. Link to post Share on other sites
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