vacamann Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 I was wondering if anybody would want to give me some advice that I am in at the moment. I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost 3 years. Now we are finally both in college. I am a soph. and she is a freshman. We have been having major issues recently. She wants to 'find herself' before she decides if she truely wants to commit to the realtionship, for she wants to know if there is anything out their in the wolrd before she closes it off. Also on a side note she has been feeling that she doesnt love me as much as she used to. We still need each other though. So she comes up with the idea that we should break up only for a lil bit of time, I agree to it reluctantly. She has also told me that a ~95% that she will come back to me. I dunno what to do about the situation. I sit here broken hearted for she was the world to me, as i was to her. Lastly she still wants to talk to me and such while we are broken up. This whole situation is confusing and i dunno what to do. All i know is that i want her back. I tried to talk to her about the situation yesterday to fix it but im still standing on the sidelines. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 She has also told me that a ~95% that she will come back to me. Tell her you're 100% sure it's over. She wants her cake & wants to eat it too. You both started going out in high school & now she's in a whole different world. She wants to find herself and play the field, she should be mature enough to do it alone & not keep a little insurance on the side just in case. Have a look around here, I think you'll find that most relationships where someone decides that they "needed some space" have ended up over. This is just a slower process. Maybe you should be doing a little finding on your own too. Link to post Share on other sites
indienotemo Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 Originally posted by bluechocolate She has also told me that a ~95% that she will come back to me. Tell her you're 100% sure it's over. From someone who has been in a similar situation: I totally agree. Link to post Share on other sites
bigacesteve Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Mate I'm going through exactly the same thing right now. I've been through the exact same thing before a few years ago. I handled the situation really badly last time and this time I decided I needed some help to get through it this time and I found this site. Honestly I've been looking on the net and it seems that most relationships reach this point. A man thinks I love the woman, maybe there are a few problems but we can fix these soon. The woman on the otherhand panics and says I need some space and time. She is basically saying you have become a different person, she wants the original fun and happy you back. You need to be yourself, your happy self, maybe even the person she met when you first met. You need to read some of the posts on here to understand really what is going on because there are numerous people including me who have been through this and are going though this now. On this forum do a search for Stuck in America and read about what is happening with him. I have a post on there somewhere at the end explaining what is happening to me. There is also a link to a guy in Texas who helps men who are being divorced by their wife. It's just common sense but until you read it a man wouldn't do that. Good luck and the right thing will happen eventually. I'm very drunk as I write this and I'm hoping my ex lady rings me tomorrow sometime. We'll see. Big Steve Link to post Share on other sites
bigacesteve Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 I've just read my previous post and I completely agree with myself. Basically the Texan guy tells you to agree with anything she says about the time and space thing. I have done this myself and it's a picture to see your ladies face when you start agreeing with everything they say and explain why you agree with them. You really do have to stop defending yourself and amazingly they defend you. It is bizarre. Also you need to start getting on with your life and become a happier person than the I've just been dumped bloke. Your now ex will see you upset and unhappy and will not want to be around you. Been there and got the T-shirt, very unpleasant. But if women were predictable and easy to keep in a relationship there would be need for sites like this. I'm really drunk now and seriously need shuteye, it's 1:44am Brit time. Nigh night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vacamann Posted October 2, 2004 Author Share Posted October 2, 2004 Thanks for the replies. I finally got the situation sloved out for the better, it was prolly the longest 3 hrs of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
PR Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 The truth of the matter is that the 95 percent is really just a way of saying she doesn't really know and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She is being a bit dishonest for the sake of letting you down easy. That's okay...women don't want to hurt people they care about. On the other hand, you need to give her space. I have been through this and know this situation all too well. There is no good way out of this for you. The "best" way is to just let her be. It is going to sting. Give yourself some time to feel the pain. Then bit by bit, move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Blackmanx Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 She is one selfish broad. A heartbreaker. You NEED to leave, man. If you need advice, check this out. http://www.askmen.com Link to post Share on other sites
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