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I'm not sure if he's interested anymore or not...


ashleysv

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Met this guy online. We went on one date, he kissed me.. held my hand, etc. We were texting for 2 months before we finally met. He's really sweet and he always talked about our "future" together as boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

After our date, he hasn't been his usual sweet self. I always have to text him first and when we are texting our convos die rather quickly and he usually only sends me one word texts. When I ask him if he's still interested, he says he really likes me.. calls me all these pet names, etc.

 

We had plans (sorta) to meet tomorrow and I had to ask him to do this. He agreed, and I said we'd talk about it closer to that date, but we haven't talked in 2 days because he hasn't texted me. I tried to chat on Monday but it was a convo with maybe 3 words then it died.

 

His last text said: "you too beautiful" to my "have a good day". I'm so confused if hes still interested. We haven't spoken in 2 days and hes made no move to ask about tomorrow which pretty much tells me he's done. ALSO, hes been online everyday on the dating website we are both on and still no move to text me.

 

Is it safe to say he's no longer interested if he doesn't make the effort to talk to me anymore like he used to?

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He's not interested but wants to keep you on the line in case he doesn't find someone he likes better. Just stop contacting him.

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Yeah move on he's not interested.

 

 

The only way I become aloof after a first date is if I feel she may not be interested. I'll give it a few days then text/call. But you have made it very clear you are interested.

 

 

But in all honesty if the date goes well I have a hard time not texting the next day. I'm also very quick to talk about a second date.

 

 

Either way why would you want to date someone that is difficult to talk to?

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Agreed with above. He's not interested and views you as a plan b. Move along. Don't take it too personal - these things happen

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I've seen this several times. They almost have you in a relationship before you even meet and then after the meet they slowly fade away. I think they build you up so much in their mind, that the actual meet up is a let down even if it is a good first date. No matter how awesome you are, it is impossible to meet their expectations when they've built you up so much in their minds.

 

I don't think it is as much as keeping you on the hook for plan b as it is the slow fade. He'll respond to your texts, but as you've seen will quit texting you first. My guess is if you don't initiate you won't hear from him again.

 

After this happening to me more than once, I've made a habit of telling over zealous guys that they may not even like me when we meet in real life and try to bring their expectations down to a normal level.

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I've seen this several times. They almost have you in a relationship before you even meet and then after the meet they slowly fade away. I think they build you up so much in their mind, that the actual meet up is a let down even if it is a good first date. No matter how awesome you are, it is impossible to meet their expectations when they've built you up so much in their minds.

 

I don't think it is as much as keeping you on the hook for plan b as it is the slow fade. He'll respond to your texts, but as you've seen will quit texting you first. My guess is if you don't initiate you won't hear from him again.

 

After this happening to me more than once, I've made a habit of telling over zealous guys that they may not even like me when we meet in real life and try to bring their expectations down to a normal level.

 

Thanks for your help (and everyone else too!) It's just annoying because I've confronted him twice now that I don't think he's interested. I even made a point of texting him telling him to just not bother sending me any messages anymore and he said "I like you too much to stop". I'm sure he has now gotten tired of having me tell him he's not interested. Just once, I would like them to be honest regardless of whether or not it would hurt my feelings. But seriously, why kiss me on our first date and hold my hand if you aren't interested? It hurts a boat load, I tell you.

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Thanks for your help (and everyone else too!) It's just annoying because I've confronted him twice now that I don't think he's interested. I even made a point of texting him telling him to just not bother sending me any messages anymore and he said "I like you too much to stop". I'm sure he has now gotten tired of having me tell him he's not interested. Just once, I would like them to be honest regardless of whether or not it would hurt my feelings. But seriously, why kiss me on our first date and hold my hand if you aren't interested? It hurts a boat load, I tell you.

 

i know exactly how u mean and feel and im a guy. refer to my posts and thread to hear my story

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I've seen this several times. They almost have you in a relationship before you even meet and then after the meet they slowly fade away. I think they build you up so much in their mind, that the actual meet up is a let down even if it is a good first date. No matter how awesome you are, it is impossible to meet their expectations when they've built you up so much in their minds.

 

I don't think it is as much as keeping you on the hook for plan b as it is the slow fade. He'll respond to your texts, but as you've seen will quit texting you first. My guess is if you don't initiate you won't hear from him again.

 

After this happening to me more than once, I've made a habit of telling over zealous guys that they may not even like me when we meet in real life and try to bring their expectations down to a normal level.

 

haha im exactly the same. in the situation i had with the girl online from another country for 2 months we were talking and i told her you might not like me when we meet and that my pics on fb make me look good (btw i reli liked her and fancied her pics but i didnt want to get my hopes up so i was playing myself down). she then wrote back saying dont be silly i promise i like you. give me one good reason why i wont like you when we meet.

 

i felt happy wen she said that and then one month later wen we finally meet she kiswed another guy in front of me and talked in german all night and i had to leave looking like the biggest loser ever. she said to me that it looked like i wanted to be more than friends. wtf?!!!!

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Oops! I ve done this to a girl when I was younger. I went on a date and didnt feel anything for her and had emailed and text her for about a month before we met up.

 

Our date was nothing spectaculer. We got on but I couldnt bring myself to like her. She like me and text me striaght after our date finished and asked if she could see me again.

 

I instead went and did my own thing and hung out with my friends. I didnt realise I did what the people call here on LS th "slow fade".

 

I wasnt interested and the texts and dates didnt materialise intot he future. Like anything else. You have to ask him directly to see where you`re going or if not time will tell. If a guy is into you. He will make it happen. His actions are more than ambivalent.

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Thanks for your help (and everyone else too!) It's just annoying because I've confronted him twice now that I don't think he's interested. I even made a point of texting him telling him to just not bother sending me any messages anymore and he said "I like you too much to stop". I'm sure he has now gotten tired of having me tell him he's not interested. Just once, I would like them to be honest regardless of whether or not it would hurt my feelings. But seriously, why kiss me on our first date and hold my hand if you aren't interested? It hurts a boat load, I tell you.

 

 

Also, you telling him all of those things... definitely NOT helping your case either. It's going to further plummet whatever interest he might have had left. Like others have said, you are his Plan K by now, specially if you are confronting him with stuff after just one date. I get it, he changed, but you are supposed to take those indicators of low interest and use them to your advantage so you can walk away, NOT so that you can berate him about why he isn't the same. It's obvious to him why he isn't the same with you. You aren't telling him something he doesn't know already.

 

And I'm not being vindictive or anything of that matter, but to your point about being kissed on a first date by uninterested people, it happens a LOT more than you realize from both male and female parties. So internalize that for the future. You have no idea how many first date kisses followed by "I had such a great time with you! Can't wait to do it again!!!!"... only to be followed up a day later by silence.

 

It just happens. You chalk it up to the game and move on.

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LuvsTrucks2

I found this to be all too common with OLD. I've had this happen to me and agree with several of the previous posts that he's not interested but still wants to keep you around for plan b, whatever plan b is. In my situation, I have not contacted him but he texts me every now and then and he also views my profile occasionally. Just continue on with life.

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He's not that interested.

 

If you have to be deciphering and guessing about his interest, it's safe to say he isn't that interested as if he were it would be obvious.

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I found this to be all too common with OLD. I've had this happen to me and agree with several of the previous posts that he's not interested but still wants to keep you around for plan b, whatever plan b is. In my situation, I have not contacted him but he texts me every now and then and he also views my profile occasionally. Just continue on with life.

 

Alrighty. Thanks again everyone! So its safe to say I should completely resist the urge to text him (haven't talked in 3 days now). Naturally confused since he was ALWAYS replying to my messages in the first place and kept up the pet names, but whatever. Slowly getting over this! I just keep thinking about all the sweet things he's said before he turned into an ass hat.

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Alrighty. Thanks again everyone! So its safe to say I should completely resist the urge to text him (haven't talked in 3 days now). Naturally confused since he was ALWAYS replying to my messages in the first place and kept up the pet names, but whatever. Slowly getting over this! I just keep thinking about all the sweet things he's said before he turned into an ass hat.

 

What will you do if he reaches out in a week or so?

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What will you do if he reaches out in a week or so?

 

I've thought a lot about that too. I'm fairly certain he wont, and as much as I'd like to respond I know its in my best interest not to do so. Hes been playing me and I'm sick of waiting around for him to figure out what he wants.

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Thegreatestthing

Yes if he no longer makes an effort to talk it's safe to say he's no longer interested.

 

Met this guy online. We went on one date, he kissed me.. held my hand, etc. We were texting for 2 months before we finally met. He's really sweet and he always talked about our "future" together as boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

After our date, he hasn't been his usual sweet self. I always have to text him first and when we are texting our convos die rather quickly and he usually only sends me one word texts. When I ask him if he's still interested, he says he really likes me.. calls me all these pet names, etc.

 

We had plans (sorta) to meet tomorrow and I had to ask him to do this. He agreed, and I said we'd talk about it closer to that date, but we haven't talked in 2 days because he hasn't texted me. I tried to chat on Monday but it was a convo with maybe 3 words then it died.

 

His last text said: "you too beautiful" to my "have a good day". I'm so confused if hes still interested. We haven't spoken in 2 days and hes made no move to ask about tomorrow which pretty much tells me he's done. ALSO, hes been online everyday on the dating website we are both on and still no move to text me.

 

Is it safe to say he's no longer interested if he doesn't make the effort to talk to me anymore like he used to?

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I've thought a lot about that too. I'm fairly certain he wont, and as much as I'd like to respond I know its in my best interest not to do so. Hes been playing me and I'm sick of waiting around for him to figure out what he wants.

 

I've been in your shoes before, and I can completely relate. It hurts. I highly recommend reading a book called "A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson. You'll know why later ;)

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PumpkinSpice

Unfortunately, your suspicions are right. For some reason he is no longer interested and all the acts you've mentioned in this post verify that.

 

I will even go as far to say that before you guys went on your date, during the texting phase, he was just reeling you in, mentioning things like you being his GF to build a connection with you, so that when he finally met you on the date... he knew you were one of his options.

 

I know this sounds harsh but a similar situation happened with a guy I met on a dating site. This is why if I'm single I'd use a dating site with caution. If he's still actively on a dating site after 2 months of talking seriously/romantically with me, that means I'm not good enough for him so he still has to fish for more or possibly "better" options. These men simply want it all but don't want to commit. I don't have time for guys like that and no woman should.

 

My advice is to be very cautious of men on these dating sites because a lot of them are whores.

 

*Side note* Not all though. I met my bf on a dating site but he deleted his account soon after. There ARE good men out there, but it's easier to find the not-so-good ones

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mortensorchid

He's not interested. At least, he's not as interested as he let you believe in the beginning. He's keeping you in the loop in case he was bored or he wants to have his ego stroked. Move on.

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He's not interested. At least, he's not as interested as he let you believe in the beginning. He's keeping you in the loop in case he was bored or he wants to have his ego stroked. Move on.

 

Most definitely. Thanks again!

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