what makes him change?

[classy_matryoshka]

At first he told me that I was his first friend in town but we could not go more and I’m fine with that. But a month later he said he didn't need friends and I’m nothing to his life though he sometimes still comes up in my campus and smiles to me but not talk a single word.

 

So, this man is a familiar face near my campus; he always shows up in Starbucks and mall in front of place I study. It's all begun as we often saw each other but never talked until the day he greeted me "hey" but we still hadn't talked yet until the next day we met again and I approached him first to talk.

The first day of our convo went good. We got to know each other; he’s foreigner, working in my country and I liked this man although he is way older than me. We even went out at that day to a downtown and had dinner. He even bought me flowers. It was indeed quite extreme for the first day, when we had dinner in gazeebo, he had his hand around my waist and stroked my cheek many times. It was like we had been admiring each other.

The next day we met again spontaneously at Sbux. He took me to soccerfield and then we laid down on bench. He held my hands and again stroked my cheek as he told me that he didn’t want to be in anykind of relationship. I was just his friends and I’m okay though as I just simply adore him. He kissed my forehead like two or three times tenderly.

We had good times together although we were just friends, we just met, we didn’t exchange phone numbers. I told him about my birthday and he came up to starbucks even with his pilot uniform who brought a suitcase just to greet me a birthday. I mean, he could just go back to his place, right? But then things started to change even before my birthday. Like, everytime I come to Sbux, he doesn’t seem as fine as he used to. He used to ask how’s my day ad stuffs but then he just lets me sit. We never eat together again. He ever wanted us to go to cinema but evrytime I invted him, he doesn’t want. He used to have intense eye contacts into me often but now all I see in his eyes are plain staring.

Until the climax happened when I found him in my cafetaria in the morning. I asked what he was doing and he answered he wanted to see soccer. Oh man! It was 10 am Monday and none ever plays soccer in my uni that day. I told him joke that he might be looking for me, he just chuckled. Then in evening after class, I came to Sbux and he was there. But I was left sitting across him. Then I questioned “is this friendship supposed to be like? In the morning you were so cheerful talking to me but then now you treat me like a complete sh**”. Then he declared that we are nothing, he doesn’t need friends because no space in his life and he lives on his own.

I was surprised because it was the roughest thing I’ve ever received.

I meant, why didn’t he tell it at the very first place? I like him already and he seemed he liked me also and he still does, I think. I don’t expect more and I tell him but he is way stubborn. I have no idea anymore... Is this the phase where older men hit their second puberty? Or is there something else? I don’t see a ring though, so was I wrong to approach in the name of curiosity and admiration after he greeted me? He is 36 and I’m 20.

[ExpatInItaly]

So you essentially know nothing about him, other than he hangs out at Starbucks, your university, is from another country, and may or may not really be a pilot. Oh, and he doesn't want a relationship or even to be friends.

 

OP, I'd keep this guy at a distance. The whole situation seems off to me. And no, this isn't some phase older men go through. His behaviour and gruff statements are red flags. Pay attention to them.

[Assasda]

I agree with the poster before.

You know nothing about him. The relationship, in a word sounds "shallow" unless we're missing something.

 

Just move on OP