princess_peach Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Is this a recipe for disaster? Is it totally okay? Or just a little awkward? The context: We are in the same martial arts class. As far as I've noticed, they've never spoken to each other, but each is certainly aware of the other's existence, and considering we all go to the same place twice per week where I talk to them both, they will catch on pretty quickly. I'm making it clear to both of them that I'm not interested in being in a committed relationship with anyone anytime soon. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 They aren't brothers are they? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author princess_peach Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 They aren't brothers are they? They look nothing alike, have different last names, and very different backgrounds, so definitely not. Link to post Share on other sites
WorryGirl Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I think it's a bit of a recipe for disaster, yes. If something works out with one of them then you're just shoving it in the other guy's face. Or they could both end up completely insulted. I don't know. Anyway I just wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 IMO, recipe for disaster. I don't see a problem with multi-dating as long as your open and honest, but multi dating where the men potentially run into each other is borderline insane. Not to mention, I don't see that you've told them you're seeing other people. Saying you don't want anything serious and saying that you are also dating others are two completely different things. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 They look nothing alike, have different last names, and very different backgrounds, so definitely not. Please tell me my joke didn't fly over your head. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 IMO, recipe for disaster. I don't see a problem with multi-dating as long as your open and honest, but multi dating where the men potentially run into each other is borderline insane. Not to mention, I don't see that you've told them you're seeing other people. Saying you don't want anything serious and saying that you are also dating others are two completely different things. Bingo. Took the words right out of my mouth Link to post Share on other sites
Author princess_peach Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Not to mention, I don't see that you've told them you're seeing other people. Saying you don't want anything serious and saying that you are also dating others are two completely different things. Technically I'm only seeing one at the moment. The other is still in the flirting phase, but that's likely to change very soon. They'll figure it out anyway if I were to go out with both, so I'd have no problem being honest about it. Maybe it'll be okay if I choose one after about... two dates? Seems harmless enough. Please tell me my joke didn't fly over your head. Don't worry; it didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Danger danger! haha It may be fun & exciting right now but eventually...it won't be. But props to you for being so bold! lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I think its fine. They might be aquaintances, but.... eh.... unless one is super jealous and insecure I dont think its much of a stretch Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 YOu're cool to multi-date as much as you want. But I would be very weary of dating people from the same venue! Especially when you're bound to see them both AT THE SAME TIME. That might cause wayyyyy too much drama. I can picture it now... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Yikes...as someone in martial arts herself, I think this is almost worse than dating someone where you work. I'd tell you not to date either of them, because that's almost like family, but I guess if you're honest that you're dating others, it might kind of work out? I really doubt it, though. Someone's feelings are going to get hurt, and it's going to be really awkward when that happens. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Ask they're into MFM!!! Link to post Share on other sites
daisydook Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Is this a recipe for disaster? Is it totally okay? Or just a little awkward? The context: We are in the same martial arts class. As far as I've noticed, they've never spoken to each other, but each is certainly aware of the other's existence, and considering we all go to the same place twice per week where I talk to them both, they will catch on pretty quickly. I'm making it clear to both of them that I'm not interested in being in a committed relationship with anyone anytime soon. I read the Title of this thread and while I was clicking on it to read your thread, I giggled and said, "oh, good luck!" Then the page opened and you asked the perfect question. Is this recipe for disaster................... ? Um, yeah. This can go a few ways and I would hope it works out how you want it to. I mean, do you want to be seeing both of them? I believe, no matter what, as long as you are very honest about your intentions, no one can fault you for them. It is only when you start lying, covering your tracks and being shady that men get tired of it. Some men are not looking to be option number 2, and I think being honest with both of them may suck for you, but it would at least give them what they are entitled to; an informed decision about dating you. I cannot see them both being ok with this, but you never do know! They both may tell you to go away if you are honest. Who knows. I would just tell them the truth, say you are seeing both of them and wanted to let them know, so you had all your cards on the table and you weren't trying to hide anything from anyone. Or something along those lines?!? I am not sure what direction you want to go here. That would be what I would choose to do, and what I have told men in the past. I have never actually slept with more than one person at a time, and I dont think I can see myself doing it, but I was open to going on dates with men. Why not?!?! Dating should be fun, and so long as you're honest, it can be! Good luck and please keep us posted as to what you do!!! xo DD Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Thread subscription: done Pop popcorn: done Oh boy this is going to be good! Can't wait to hear how this turns out 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 This thread reminds me of that Friends episode where Phoebe Buffay dates two guys at the same time. When both guys meetup with Phoebe at Central Perk, they accidentally find out about each other and as a result, both guys dump Phoebe. The worst that could happen to you OP, is that both guys karate chop each other after class, like when Daniel Cleaver and Mar Darcy fight each other in both Bridge Jones movies. I love pop culture. Society would not know what rules to follow without half-hour comedy sitcoms and romantic comedy movies. Seriously though. Pick one and date him. Don't date both at the same time since all of you are in the same karate class. That's definitely recipe for trouble and the outcome probably won't be as funny as a scripted comedy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Put yourself in their place, if you found out the guy you are already dating is dating another girl in your class, how would you feel about him then? or say he was dating 2 other girls in your class? Would you be impressed? happy? Not care? My opinion of people who can't choose or settle on one person is pretty low. I automatically assume that they are totally up themselves. Sorry to say. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
marcjb Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Dating as in literally just talking and getting to know both of them? Or having sex with both of them? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 As long as you don't ever act like you're involved in the class, they'll probably never know. Just don't get started hanging with them there or acting loveydovey there. You have told them both you're dating, so yes, if they find out there could be some drama, but you're entitled to date people as long as they're not friends. Link to post Share on other sites
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