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OLD - Now I'm nervous.


WhiskeyJack

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WhiskeyJack

So I decided to try OLD cause I'm a bit of an introvert and don't do well at meeting people in real life situations. Im too shy. Well I've been talking to a couple guys, and one has now said something about meeting for a drink after 1 day and I'm kind of freaking out.

 

I knew that by doing this I'd eventually have to go and meet the people. But I'm so damn nervous. I feel like not even answering the message, but I want to meet people.

 

How do I battle this nervousness and just dive in and get it over with? How was your first time meeting someone from OLD?

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sillyanswer

How do I battle this nervousness and just dive in and get it over with?

 

Given your username I'd suggest a stiff drink. Or just view it as a personal challenge.

 

How was your first time meeting someone from OLD?

 

Slightly nervous, and we scrabbled around to find enough topics of common interest to talk about. I didn't see her a second time which, with the hindsight of having met many other people via dating sites, was the right outcome.

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So I decided to try OLD cause I'm a bit of an introvert and don't do well at meeting people in real life situations. Im too shy. Well I've been talking to a couple guys, and one has now said something about meeting for a drink after 1 day and I'm kind of freaking out.

 

I knew that by doing this I'd eventually have to go and meet the people. But I'm so damn nervous. I feel like not even answering the message, but I want to meet people.

 

How do I battle this nervousness and just dive in and get it over with? How was your first time meeting someone from OLD?

Being nervous is perfectly normal for everyone. I'm also more introverted most of the time. If your not ready to go out with him you can always stall. If your not happy with having a drink you can change it. As the female you command all the power. I'd suggest you use that wisely to get exactly the guy you want.

 

 

I typically have a first "meeting" vs an actual date to get coffee somewhere. I try to make it comfortable, easy, public and inexpensive and easy for both parties. That way little is lost if there's no mutual interest.

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deathandtaxes

I always shoot for a drink meeting quickly upon mailing back and forth with a woman on OLD. The first few e-mails are just to make sure there may be enough just to pursue something in person. I never propose anything fancy for a first meeting. Usually a drink or two at a local watering hole. And just as nervous now on a first meeting as I was when I first tried OLD not quite two years ago.

 

 

The key is, don't be dissuaded by your nervousness. Just recognize it. Once the conversation starts flowing, it disappears.

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Same here....hi! Nerves are normal but I thought I was going to be sick. Lord, my stomach....I shook and turned beet red....

 

It gets easier after a few meetings. I still get nervous but not nearly as bad. I would just suggest go in alcohol free though. Maybe try a darkly lit location so if you tend to go beet red like me its not as noticible. Did have one guy once that told me it was adorable. And he wouldn't have asked me on a second date otherwise.

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WhiskeyJack

Thank you everyone for your responses.

 

I think a drink will help with my nerves haha. I just got to bite the bullet and get it over with. Have to start somewhere, right?

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Nerve are normal. Some good tips here. A few others:

 

1. Practice makes perfect: I've found getting to that initial meet up is pretty easy. So to ahead and set up a few to shake the rust off. I'm not saying to lead women on or waste their time but I think you will find yourself being a lot less nervous if a meetup is one out of three you have scheduled for a week/weekend vs the only one.

 

2. Set expectations correctly with yourself: I never go into a first meetup thinking anything more than "this will be a fun conversation". Actually, on rare occasions I go in expecting more but that's because there was amazing chemistry on the phone or on text. But if all you expect is a fun conversation - a chance to meet someone new and learn about them - then you won't be disappointed. You'll also find yourself far less nervous and you can be yourself.

 

3. Ask questions and listen: get them talking and be sure to listen to them and ask follow up questions. That's a great cure for nerves. Plus it is just smart. I view every woman I meet like a book. Unique. Special. Spend some time reading it. She'll ask you questions too.

 

4. Smile and compliment: a warm smile will put most people at ease. If they're at ease you will find it easier too. Give her a subtle compliment - don't be hokey about it and just blurt out how pretty she is. Maybe make eye contact, lean closer and say, "I have to tell you, your photos don't do you justice" or even "thank you for making time for us today". It shows you appreciate her.

 

5. Last thing. Make eye contact. Good eye contact. Will settle you down and will also help build a connection.

 

6. Unless the meetup is going insanely well, wrap it up after 60 - 90 minutes. If you like her thank her for her time and ask to see her again for proper date.

 

Good luck!!!

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WhiskeyJack
Nerve are normal. Some good tips here. A few others:

 

1. Practice makes perfect: I've found getting to that initial meet up is pretty easy. So to ahead and set up a few to shake the rust off. I'm not saying to lead women on or waste their time but I think you will find yourself being a lot less nervous if a meetup is one out of three you have scheduled for a week/weekend vs the only one.

 

2. Set expectations correctly with yourself: I never go into a first meetup thinking anything more than "this will be a fun conversation". Actually, on rare occasions I go in expecting more but that's because there was amazing chemistry on the phone or on text. But if all you expect is a fun conversation - a chance to meet someone new and learn about them - then you won't be disappointed. You'll also find yourself far less nervous and you can be yourself.

 

3. Ask questions and listen: get them talking and be sure to listen to them and ask follow up questions. That's a great cure for nerves. Plus it is just smart. I view every woman I meet like a book. Unique. Special. Spend some time reading it. She'll ask you questions too.

 

4. Smile and compliment: a warm smile will put most people at ease. If they're at ease you will find it easier too. Give her a subtle compliment - don't be hokey about it and just blurt out how pretty she is. Maybe make eye contact, lean closer and say, "I have to tell you, your photos don't do you justice" or even "thank you for making time for us today". It shows you appreciate her.

 

5. Last thing. Make eye contact. Good eye contact. Will settle you down and will also help build a connection.

 

6. Unless the meetup is going insanely well, wrap it up after 60 - 90 minutes. If you like her thank her for her time and ask to see her again for proper date.

 

Good luck!!!

 

Thank you for these! I am female so is #4 still something I should do? or change my approach?

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