Corduroy Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 The girl I've been dating told my sister to tell me to just be friends, for now. She say's that she can't be in a relationship right now, because she needs to focus on her career, & we should embrace a friendship. She told my sister that she can easily hurt me. I don't get it. She's the one acting like a girlfriend, and seeing me everyday...but she's keeping me from having romantic feelings? Her words say one thing, but actions say another. Another twist of events, I found out that she chose me over my brother. Apparently she wanted to date him before she met me. So she chose me, yet we can't have a relationship?? This girl is confusing me Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Are you two in high school? (I'm being serious) Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I don't want a relationship now because I have to _______ [work on my career; find myself; study; etc.] is code for I don't want a relationship with you. If she was into you, all that other stuff wouldn't matter Perhaps she "chose" you because she thought she couldn't have your brother She's acting like a GF because you let her -- giving her all the benefits and not demanding anything from her in return. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 If a ladies words and actions are not the same she is not being genuine. Most likely she is just not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
dudemeister Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Welcome to the friend zone! lol. I've been in your situation a few times. One chick told me that she needs "time for herself" and is "not ready for a relationship". Two weeks later she had a boyfriend. She didn't choose you. She is waiting for someone else while enjoying the attention and emotional support from you. Don't take it personally. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 How old are you both? I'm sorry, but telling your sister to tell you it isn't going to work is pathetically immature. And she wanted your brother first? This has drama all over it. She's not worth it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Same thing happened to me. She said "Can we just be friends for just now. Got a lot of personal problems to deal with right now". Fast forward 11 months and after speaking to her EVERY day by text and hanging out she ten tells me the truth after getting comfortable with me. Like people say on here. If shes that into you she wouldnt be making these excuses. Shes giving you a reason to soften the blow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Corduroy Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 We're both mid 20s. She works 3 jobs and goes to school full time. It's understandable why she doesn't have time. Yet she wants to travel with me, because she's never been out of state. My family really likes her, but she's coming on strong like my ex did. I think my sister told her about what happened between me and my ex and this new girl doesn't want to hurt me? Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 She doesnt want to hurt you and she`s told you the truth albiet not directly. The situation with me is I still hang out with this girl and we still talk everyday by text. We`re just giving them all the benefits and getting nothing in return. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 How old are you both? I'm sorry, but telling your sister to tell you it isn't going to work is pathetically immature. And she wanted your brother first? This has drama all over it. She's not worth it. This was exactly my point for asking. Because it seems she took the easy way out by relaying the message instead of directly telling him. That's cowardice and this guy deserves way better than that. If that happened to me, that would be all the information I'd need to start moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Corduroy Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 She doesnt want to hurt you and she`s told you the truth albiet not directly. The situation with me is I still hang out with this girl and we still talk everyday by text. We`re just giving them all the benefits and getting nothing in return. I mean, I am getting something in return... I enjoy being with a girl instead of my guy friends. We get to date, but no intimacy. I asked her "will you be ready for a relationship after you graduate?" she said, "no! I'm not waiting that long." So I can't complain I guess, At least she wants me in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
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