Stumble Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Met up with this guy who is a friend of a friend for a coffee after he contacted me. He happened to contacted me about a month after I broke up with my ex , who I'm still not quite over. However this guy is cute, but not very confident and he is a nice guy. I thought okay I will just meet him for a coffee, why not. In our convo I also mentioned that I broke up with my ex, but didn't really get into it, I thought it was unnecessary. Then I went on holiday for a week but I stayed in touch with him via messages (me initiating mostly). Then he wants to meet again when I got back and I said okay then suggest we go to the park after work and chill out with some drinks, he said sounds great. I don't know this guy well, met him through friends about 2-3 times before and I really would like to get to know him a bit more. He is very cute but want to be sure if he is nice as he seems. While we were in the park, we were having a nice chat and all of a sudden I felt that he started sitting a lot closer to me, but I didn't think anything of it. Then at one point while I was just talking, he suddenly touch my knee gently as I was sitting crossed leg on the grass, then I felt strange as to why he suddenly touched my knee, and I asked him..is there something on my legs?? He then said oh no , and grab my hand gently and he said, I'm just trying to kiss you..uh sorry. I felt that it was not smooth at all, I did not expect it coming so soon. In the end we didn't kiss, I said sorry (not sure why) I think he is cute but I feel like it was too soon to kiss him and it just came from no where. I don't usually freak out when a guy wants to kiss me. Why did I freak out?? I think he is cute. Was it because he was not doing it right? I felt like he rushed into it too soon, bad timing. It was awkward. Or is it because I'm not Over my ex. I don't want to use this guy as a rebound either. I didn't wanna just kiss him so soon because I want to be sure that I like him. I didn't wanna kiss anyone just to get over my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Sounds like you're not ready to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stumble Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 I was not even sure if it was a date, but I guess to him it was. I feel very bad. I don't want him to think that I was leading him on and using him. That evening when we departed after the park we had good bye kiss on the cheeks and long friendly hug. Then he didn't even message me to ask me if I got home okay..he knew I had to catch the train out of the city to home. I don't know what to do from here, message him and ask meet up as usual sometimes? Or just ignore it until he gets in touch? I do wanna get to know him better. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 He may see you're not that into him. You said you're the one initiating texts. Give yourself time to heal. A man who is into you will make it VERY obvious. If he's not initiating communication just leave it be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stumble Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 He may see you're not that into him. You said you're the one initiating texts. Give yourself time to heal. A man who is into you will make it VERY obvious. If he's not initiating communication just leave it be. I think I agree with you, I also have a feeling that I should do nothing. Would be great if he gets in touch and give us a chance to get to know each other better. I like taking things slow anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
CharlieFox Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I was not even sure if it was a date, but I guess to him it was. Sounds like you too weren't sure what it was. I think I agree with you, I also have a feeling that I should do nothing. Would be great if he gets in touch and give us a chance to get to know each other better. I like taking things slow anyway. No of course you should do nothing, let him use his mind reading skills... Sounds like a confusing situation, after which he might be wondering what your intentions are if he failed to kiss you and you didn't make it clear why. If you're really interested, contact him and let him know you enjoyed the time you spent together and would like to see him again. If you're so willing to let this be, like sit around and do nothing and expect him to keep pursuing you after an awkward moment like that, then you're really not that interested in him and probably shouldn't string him along. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stumble Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Sounds like you too weren't sure what it was. No of course you should do nothing, let him use his mind reading skills... Sounds like a confusing situation, after which he might be wondering what your intentions are if he failed to kiss you and you didn't make it clear why. If you're really interested, contact him and let him know you enjoyed the time you spent together and would like to see him again. If you're so willing to let this be, like sit around and do nothing and expect him to keep pursuing you after an awkward moment like that, then you're really not that interested in him and probably shouldn't string him along. actually I told him I just got out of a relationship that's why. Anyway i wont do anything, I don't want to get him into this mess with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I don't want to use this guy as a rebound either. I didn't wanna just kiss him so soon because I want to be sure that I like him. I didn't wanna kiss anyone just to get over my ex. I think you need to give yourself more time. It seems like you are inadvertently doing exactly this... using him as a rebound. Sometimes we need to test the waters just to see if we are really ready, but it's pretty obvious that you aren't. You can't blame him for not texting you to see if you were okay, his ego took a MASSIVE hit that night. Seriously, the answer to the question in your thread title is YES and YES. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stumble Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 I think you need to give yourself more time. It seems like you are inadvertently doing exactly this... using him as a rebound. Sometimes we need to test the waters just to see if we are really ready, but it's pretty obvious that you aren't. You can't blame him for not texting you to see if you were okay, his ego took a MASSIVE hit that night. Seriously, the answer to the question in your thread title is YES and YES. I understand when you said his ego took a MASSIVE hit that night. I feel so bad for him damn & he is very good looking! What do i do now? message him sometimes to explain myself saying i don't want to get him involve with my mess (breakup)? so his ego is not so bruised? OR leave it, do nothing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stumble Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 what I meant by 'Wrong timing from his end' is , he did not wait for the right opportunity.. we were just chatting about some serious stuff (work)...and he just jumped right in. Normally before a kiss you know that it's coming, you watch the other person's body language. You look at each others eyes and you both know you're interested. Uou know what mean? this felt like it came from nowhere..it was not smooth. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I know exactly what you mean, that's why I said it was wrong timing on his end. It made sense in his mind maybe, but usually both people know... actually, usually women know before the man when the right windows are. I wouldn't bring it up to him. You'll just replay what happened again. I would just suggest talking to him as if that never happened. Proceed normally. But are you sure you really would like to go out with him again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stumble Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Not so sure now if I want to go out with him again any time soon but not because I was put off. He jumped me a little but I'm willing to give him second chance. However, I found myself missing my ex in the last day or two so i guess seeing him(new guy) is not a good idea. He seems nice so i dont wanna get him into this mess. I dont want another headache either. Link to post Share on other sites
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