need

[Aaaaaahhhfffff]

Hello there,

Let me start off by thanking you for taking the time to read. I need advice on relationships.

 

I met this girl in 6th grade, we started "dating" lol. Holding hands, first kiss. Lots of memories. We dated on and off throughout middle and high school. We always remained friends. Sometimes we wouldn't talk for months and months at a time. But when ever we did those feelings would still be there, stronger than ever.

Every time we broke up was because of me. I'm young, I am a guy, I wanted to explore my sexuality. Make a long story short. The first time we had sex was after we graduated. A few months later i cheated on her. Told her a few days later due to guilt. She needed to know. I gave her the option of making it work or spitting up. We made it work. Then a few months later I realized I wanted to explore more. I didn't want to wake up Un happy one day and tear a family apart coming from a split up family myself.

 

So we split up. I moved to la to live with my mom and make some better decisions. I was a wreck. Drinking and driving. Smoking weed everyday. Etc. Going nowhere fast nowhere good. So i moved. From the 2 years i lived in la I hooked up a few times. Dated this girl. But woke up every day thinking about my first love. I know what we have is real. So i msg her one day. We started talking. She was hurt. But I couldn't blame her. Eventually i started wanting her back in my life. I broke up with the other girl. Not right to be playing some one that really liked you. A long distance relationship is hard. We wanted each other, but I couldn't afford to move back plus i was helping my mother pay rent and bills, if i left she would be homeless. Plus she lost her job. I did it for 2 years. Waiting for her. Wanting her more and more each day. After 3 years of not seeing her i finally moved back a few months ago. We started dating on the 4th of July. I am very serious about being committed and being a loving boyfriend. We are great together. We have the Same personality. Except she is a people person. I have my close friends. But she is my best friend. I only really talk to her on Facebook. Not by choice either. Here's the problem. She lives about a hour and a half away. I drive a v8. Gas kills me. Plus it's unreliable for long trips. We only see each other for like 8 days of the month if we're lucky. I love her, I want the best for her. I want her to go out and have fun with friends. I just want her to come home to me or knowing I think about her. At the moment I am saving up to move in with her. We both love kids. I want one. She has been hinting but never says so. So iv been trying to have a baby. # **** the pullout method lol. Anyways my main problem is I feel like I am being to lovey dovey. To smothery. I get jealous quick. Don't try to. Don't want to. Sometimes I feel like she can do better than me. And sometimes I think she thinks she could too. She has snap chat, facebook, facetime. Always on her phone. As where I am laying there with only msg s from her and my brothers. For instance a guy that is friends with her wants to take her out to dinner. I asked her if I could come up and spend the night with her in her day off and she said maybe and told me she had a bunch of plans. That was one of them. I dont have a phone so we talk on Facebook. Only when I have wifi. So it's nice to have her attention. But she will read my msg. Then Will not respond for multiple minutes. But when were together and she is on the phone she responds super quick. Idk. I'm a softy. I really love her and want her happy. Even if not with me. I know she loves me. Every thing is perfect. We conversate really good, when around each other, our sex is great, like really great. I didn't know girls squirted till I met her lol. Like I said we are a lot alike. Just worried about losing her. Thanks for reading would really appreciate some feedback.

 

Edited February 21, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[d0nnivain]

If you can't afford to put gas in your car, you really can't afford a baby. What are you thinking? Oh, right, you're not.

 

You need to get your life in order before you bring a child into the world.

[Zahara]

Kids trying to have babies.

 

You can't even afford a phone, gas for your car -- worst off, you don't even have a, or stable relationship. You're talking about bringing a baby into such a situation? And don't think that just because you have a baby together, it will solidify the relationship.

[Zippy2000]

Kids trying to have babies.

 

You can't even afford a phone, gas for your car -- worst off, you don't even have a, or stable relationship. You're talking about bringing a baby into such a situation? And don't think that just because you have a baby together, it will solidify the relationship.

 

Excellent input Zahara.

 

Truth is if you dont want to loose her. Get a job. Work hard at it, get promted and buy as economical car and be responsible.

 

Ultimately......Grow up.

[preraph]

It's a sure sign of not being ready to have a kid when you can't even adequately provide for yourself, much less her and a kid. If you get her pregnant, you are just going to ruin both of your lives. You have no idea what it's like to take care of a kid 24/7. It's not for sissies. If she wants to have a baby with you in both your present situations, then that proves to me that she is far too immature to parent a child and needs some further parenting herself, as do you. You need to be using a condom and she needs to be on birth control pills as well.

 

It's lovely you love your first girlfriend, but if you do, then get your act together, get a good job or two good jobs and prove that you can keep them for at least a year and save up some money (which is nearly impossible) and check some websites about how much it costs just to buy diapers for a baby much less raise them to adulthood. If you can't afford gas, you certainly cannot afford even diapers.

 

You need to start thinking like a man.

[aprilisi]

The problem is with all the welfare programs out there people never think of money. My friend, I love her to death is trying to get pregnant. She's a great mom to her other chilld but she works part time for minimum wage. She actually said I'll just go down to Social Services and sign up for everything.

 

Not one thought about money.

[ExpatInItaly]

Why do you want a baby? How are you going to support it? You can't support yourself at this point. Having a baby would be incredibly irresponsible and unfair to the child. This relationship and your financial circumstances cannot support a baby right now.

 

Don't forget that you weren't so worried about losing her when it was convenient for you. You've cheated and left before. She is right to be holding back and keeping up a life outside of you. You have proved to her that you are untrustworthy. That takes a very, very long time to rebuild. You're worried when she doesn't reply to a message after multiple minutes? How exactly do you think she felt when you didn't stay faithful to her?

 

I know my post is coming across as harsh. But you need a serious wake-up call.