kidphoenix96 Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Ok there is this girl that I've known for about 1 1/2 years. We somewhat work together. I have had feelings for her for awhile but she has never been available and it is killing me just trying to be her friend while she is currently dating. Her current boyfriend and her are planning to move in together and I'm just dying thinking about. Now the most common solution is to just forget about her and move on but it is very hard because I constantly think about her all day. Do you guys think that I should tell her how I feel next time I see her? Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 She's moving in with her boyfriend, so probably not. I'd end the friendship, since it's not really a friendship, on your part at least. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 No. You shouldn't make that her problem. She has a guy she's happy with and moving in with. If any mutual attraction hasn't arisen before now, it's never going to. I had to work with an ex for some years, and it's not easy, but it's easier if they at least don't know you like like them. Just keep it professional and pull back on the contact. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Oh God no!!! We all desire more what we can't have, and being obsessive over someone is preventing you from actually meeting someone that is available to you. Time to cut it out. Telling her isn't going to inch your way into her heart. It's going to creep her out and she will have nothing to do with you. I agree with the above posts, stop all personal contact, keep it all professional. I totolly agree your obsession with her IS NOT for her to know about. Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 ...The worst thing you could do OP but please keep us posted if you do Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Let her be. She's happy and has a boyfriend. How would you feel if you were the boyfriend and some creep wanted to interfere with your relationship? Exactly!!! Be happy for her and let it go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
torturedartist Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Ok there is this girl that I've known for about 1 1/2 years. We somewhat work together. I have had feelings for her for awhile but she has never been available and it is killing me just trying to be her friend while she is currently dating. Her current boyfriend and her are planning to move in together and I'm just dying thinking about. Now the most common solution is to just forget about her and move on but it is very hard because I constantly think about her all day. Do you guys think that I should tell her how I feel next time I see her? You never mentioned whether she was happy with her current boyfriend, or if there was any indication she was attracted to you. Some women really hate being alone and keep a boyfriend to get them by until someone better comes alone. I have no idea if the girl you're talking about is in such a situation, or if you'd qualify as "someone better". If the answer to either of those questions is no, you'd be best keeping quiet and looking at other girls. There are over 3.5 billion of them in the world. The other thing you have to consider is that if there's a chance that this girl likes you and you don't say something, you'll have to live with the regret in never knowing for the rest of your life. Been there (and I don't recommend it). In conclusion, you need to compare the risk to the possible gain. Hope that helps. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Some women really hate being alone and keep a boyfriend to get them by until someone better comes alone. Very true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kidphoenix96 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 Yeah but I'm trying to get closure so I can move on. My feelings for this girl are driving me crazy and the smart thing is to move on but it seems like all of this have to get off my chest. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Yeah but I'm trying to get closure so I can move on. My feelings for this girl are driving me crazy and the smart thing is to move on but it seems like all of this have to get off my chest. Any ideas? If you don't mind never speaking to her again, then tell her how you feel. Otherwise, find somebody else. Link to post Share on other sites
rayman Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I'd say to leave her and let her be but this is coming from a boyfriend's perspective. She's moving in with her boyfriend so that must mean that she's got her mind set on working towards that "boyfriend-girlfriend stage". But if you do, it's up to you man, but really, I don't see the point. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I know your type. You are not looking for closure, you are hoping that if she knows there could be a glimmer of hope. You ain't foolin anybody. And when you do tell her, word will get out about your obsessiveness over her. You will spoil any chance you have to get with another girl.....there's this thing called social media. Don't kid yourself, she's gonna be talkin about it to everyone you work with, her friends, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kidphoenix96 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 I know your type. You are not looking for closure, you are hoping that if she knows there could be a glimmer of hope. You ain't foolin anybody. And when you do tell her, word will get out about your obsessiveness over her. You will spoil any chance you have to get with another girl.....there's this thing called social media. Don't kid yourself, she's gonna be talkin about it to everyone you work with, her friends, etc. Guess you're right. It's probably best if I cut off all contact. But how should I go about doing it? I don't want to be a drama douche and say that we can't be friends anymore. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
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