Jump to content

I'm not interested in guys that like me?


Lipitor11

Recommended Posts

Is there a reason for this? All the guys that are interested in me, I don't want any of them, they are not my type whatsoever. Yet, the guys that I do want, they don't want me. So, what gives? I can't just settle for a guy that I'm not interested in. Like today., I found out that the security guy at work was interested in me, he's been dropping hints weeks prior and just today he asked if I was single, I lied and told him no, that I'm dating someone. He's not my type at all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
hasaquestion
I need to be attracted to him, plus a bunch of other factors.

 

You didn't answer the question:laugh:

 

I won't judge, I know I have a type. Tell us what you like if you want to know where to find them.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't want to be in any club that would accept you as a member. Groucho'

 

Pretty standard actually. We always want above our pay grade.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, part of it is because most guys are liking girls at first glance for their bodies and whether they want to F them and so that's a pretty broad spectrum of guys who will come on to you and they're mostly going to be the ones who just want in your pants, too. They're not picking you on compatibility and common interests. To find guys with common interests and girls too, you have to frequently go out and do activities centered around your interests. That way you remove yourself from the big pool of guys just looking at your boobs and maybe attract some who are looking at your swing or your intellect or want to take you hiking. Go do things you love.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone

There is a great deal of literature about this out there.

 

You want men who don't want you because subconsciously you don't want a relationship that would work out. People sabotage their own romantic happiness most often by picking mates who are all wrong for them. The more wrong they are the more they like it.

 

Picking someone who likes you, would be good to you would be scary. That scary aspect puts you off of them.

 

 

I would also guess it could be a self esteem issue. Do you ever see a guy is into you and wonder why he's into you? If so it could be that you don't think someone could really like you.

 

Those are just my readings and observations of people it may or may not apply to you.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Lipitor11, what kind of guys do you like?

 

Also, do you think that those kind of guys are generally liked by most women?

Link to post
Share on other sites

OP, until you tell me you give subtle but clear eye contact and signals to the kinds of men you like...smiles and maybe asking them out...

 

I think those who you are aware like you have the balls to tell you...

 

If you see someone you like you give him eye contact and he returns it do you ever approach him? Ever?

 

Women are the instigators. Eye contact and smiles are key.

This has been the way for decades!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

If that is all you are attracting (unattractive guys) then that says you are not that attractive, geneally speaking. Are you a little over weight? Don't dress sexy or feminine? Don't particularly wear makeup or spend much time doing your hair?

 

Have you observed, the guys that turn you down, what type of woman they go after?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Daisy-oliviaWentcher
There is a great deal of literature about this out there.

 

You want men who don't want you because subconsciously you don't want a relationship that would work out. People sabotage their own romantic happiness most often by picking mates who are all wrong for them. The more wrong they are the more they like it.

 

Picking someone who likes you, would be good to you would be scary. That scary aspect puts you off of them.

 

 

I would also guess it could be a self esteem issue. Do you ever see a guy is into you and wonder why he's into you? If so it could be that you don't think someone could really like you.

 

Those are just my readings and observations of people it may or may not apply to you.

 

 

 

completely and utterly agree with this one! I was single for 11 years before I met a guy that liked me. Really liked me. I am attractive and sure of myself. But when it came to dating i didn't know what dating was. I'm lucky to have someone who wouldn't judge me on this. Because many men would. He wasn't my type at all when I first met him. And it took a while to even admit that he even liked me was even though he took me out date after date. If you have been single for years like myself and always liked men who didn't like you back, it's possible that you think that you do not DESERVE a relationship. You are always expecting the worse to happen and that is not necessarily from experience after experience but a negative core belief that you are not worthy, special or valued enough. Media will teach you the skinny you are the more worthy you are for attention. Most men are married to woman who are not model thin. If you have gone after men who value you your friendship but not enough for a relationship somehow you are attracted to what you want but cannot have because you do not believe that you deserve something good. I had to have really good amount of counselling and my boyfriend and I didn't even kiss really for the first three months of our relationship. I had to get use to even the "idea" of a potential relationship and the number of times I balied on dates is staggering. I was freaking out that someone actually liked me and I couldn't contemplate what that meant exactly. Being vulnerable was out of the question because I didn't know what being vulnerable was. The last guy I was with told me that guys didn't like talking about feelings. I believed then that ALL guys didn't like talking about feelings, or perhaps not with me. So after a while talking about feeling was a lot more scarier than anything else I could imagine.

 

 

You deserve to be treated well honestly, but I wouldn't be surprised that the men that you like that don't like you back, are people that would play games with you and treat you not very well...

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
If that is all you are attracting (unattractive guys) then that says you are not that attractive, geneally speaking. Are you a little over weight? Don't dress sexy or feminine? Don't particularly wear makeup or spend much time doing your hair?

 

Have you observed, the guys that turn you down, what type of woman they go after?

 

I'm not overweight, I don't dress sexy or feminine, I do wear-make up on some days, other days I'm lazy, and I haven't done much with my hair. However, when I do make all the effort, guys hardly look my way! One time I went to a friends wedding, I got all dolled up, yet no one, hardly gave me a compliment. Maybe I'm not generally attractive. I don't have blonde hair or blue eyes. At work for example, there was a cute guy working in my dept, he usually went for the "all-american" girl.

 

As far as my type, well, I like tall, smart, fit, funny guys, good-looking guys.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone
I'm not overweight, I don't dress sexy or feminine, I do wear-make up on some days, other days I'm lazy, and I haven't done much with my hair. However, when I do make all the effort, guys hardly look my way! One time I went to a friends wedding, I got all dolled up, yet no one, hardly gave me a compliment. Maybe I'm not generally attractive. I don't have blonde hair or blue eyes. At work for example, there was a cute guy working in my dept, he usually went for the "all-american" girl.

 

As far as my type, well, I like tall, smart, fit, funny guys, good-looking guys.

 

 

The thing is those tall, smart, fit, funny, good looking guys, Like smart, fit, funny, good looking girls. They also have those girls and dozens of other girls interested in them. Those guys also have their own mental and social issues.

 

You don't need to be a blue eyed blonde. However, if you are not white in America that could be a problem. We are supposed to be post racial but really we aren't.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
The thing is those tall, smart, fit, funny, good looking guys, Like smart, fit, funny, good looking girls. They also have those girls and dozens of other girls interested in them. Those guys also have their own mental and social issues.

 

You don't need to be a blue eyed blonde. However, if you are not white in America that could be a problem. We are supposed to be post racial but really we aren't.

 

Huh? I'm not really talking about race. I meant blondes get noticed more, but then again, guys also have a certain type they go for. I guess it has nothing to do with race, but more about preference. Its just all complicated. I need to work on myself.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone
Huh? I'm not really talking about race. I meant blondes get noticed more, but then again, guys also have a certain type they go for. I guess it has nothing to do with race, but more about preference. Its just all complicated. I need to work on myself.

 

Well you said you weren't an "All American" girl. Americans look a lot of ways...very few of us are blonde actually.

 

Maybe one thing you can work on are these sort of images of who should be like what and who should like who. Lots of people love and live long happy lives with people who don't fit those images.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes in order to attract what you want, you have to "work" on your appearance in order to be competitive simple as that. That's why the fashion and cosmetics are billion dollar industries. It's a no brainer men are visual creatures, and they will go for someone that really cares about their appearance, looks healthy, fresh and sexy.

 

Go to the cosmetic counter and ask for a make over. Most are free. As for wardrobe, that is what those sales people are there for, to assist and suggest what looks best on you. Don't be afraid to "change" your hair color, style, etc. Be open to new things.

Link to post
Share on other sites

As far as my type, well, I like tall, smart, fit, funny guys, good-looking guys.

 

You and every other woman in the world.

 

So why should those guys choose you?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with many of the comments here. Look at it from another perspective. The guys who you like see you similarly to how you see the guys that like you. You simply aren't their "type."

 

But based on your own self-assessment, you don't try, so it's no surprise that you aren't attracting the ones you're attracted to. If you're not generally attractive, then you will eventually have to accept that the law of averages will stick you with someone who is not generally attractive.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...